


Full House

by AgentOfShip



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, I don't want to spoil the plot so I'll had more tags later, Minor Character Death, Romance, Sci-Ops AU, Sibling Bonding, academy au, sibling shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 21:12:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11699994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentOfShip/pseuds/AgentOfShip
Summary: Just as Fitz and Simmons are about to graduate from the Academy, something terrible and unexpected happens in Simmon's life that might change her plans about the future. But as always, she can count on Fitz to be by her side all the way. Academy and Sci-Ops AU. There will be some angst and sadness obviously but as always, there'll be quite a lot of fluff! Rating might flirt with M at some points but it should remain mostly within the T range!





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for keeping this summary a bit cryptic but I didn't want to spoil the plot. You'll get where this is going within the first few chapters though. I started writing this months ago actually but then came the Framework and with all the angst in canon, I was in the mood for something more fluffy at the time. But I still like this idea so I thought I could finally come back to it.
> 
> The first chapters are already done so I'll try to keep to a weekly update (the first chapter is quite short so maybe chapter 2 will come a bit sooner!)

"Fitz, do you realize this is probably one of the last times we walk out of this building?" Jemma cried out enthusiastically, turning around to look back at it the second they were out the door and Fitz rolled his eyes in fond exasperation.

"Yeah ... until we come back tomorrow because you want to make another last minute check on our project ... and the day after that and in a few years when we both become co-directors of the SHIELD academy!" He teased and she bumped his shoulder before turning around and walking again. She pretended not to notice that he had followed and was now walking next to her for a moment but she couldn't keep a straight face for long, not when he had such a genuinely amused smile on his face. Fitz didn't smile so wide very often, though she liked to think that she had something to do with the fact that he did it a lot more now than when they met a few years ago.

"Come on Fitz, am I not allowed a bit of nostalgia?" She sighed and his smile turned softer.

"Of course you are ... but things won't be much different, we'll still be working in a lab together, except it's going to be our own lab and it'll be much bigger and we'll get paid to work there!" He said as he stopped walking for a moment to face her and she grinned at the obvious excitement on his face.

"I know, this is gonna be great ..." She said, grabbing his arm to make them walk again. "... I don't think we'll get to be directors of SHIELD academy though ... you know we applied for field work right?" She added.

"Yeah ... but we didn't pass our physical assessments so ..."

"But it's only a matter of time, we'll just have to train a bit and we can take them again in six months or so ..." She cut him off, feeling a little worried now. "... unless you've changed your mind?"

"No no no of course no ... it's just it's ... scary is all" He answered with a reassuring smile and she relaxed a bit.

"I know but we'll do it together right? ... and it'd be so rewarding to see our tech actually being used on the field don't you think?"

"Yeah yeah Simmons, you don't need to convince me a second time ..." He mumbled. "... as long as I'm with you I'll be fine anyway!" He said louder and her heart melted a bit. Sometimes, he could say such sweet things without even realizing it.

"What is it?" He asked and it was only then that she realized she had stopped walking.

"Nothing ..." She breathed out with a soft smile as she resumed walking. There was still a bit of shyness in him and she didn't want to embarrass him by telling him how adorable he was.

-0-0-0-

They walked in silence for a moment, just enjoying this nice late spring evening. The weather had been perfect all week with a nice blue skye and the air just warm enough that you could go out without a coat or sweater during the day. Somehow it felt like it reflected their happy mood of the moment. Classes and exams were over, graduation was two weeks away and soon they'd leave Boston for the vacation they'd been waiting to go on for years.

They'd spent pretty much every waking moment together since the day they've met, in a few months they would be sharing a flat and a lab together, yet somehow he couldn't have been more excited to spend another three weeks with his best friend. If someone had told him a few years ago that things would go this way, he wouldn't have believe them. He's had a few friends before, in high school, but being always smarter and much younger than everybody else never made things easy. He didn't keep contact with any of those friends and never needed or really wanted to see them outside of school. With Jemma, it was different though. Of course they shared science but it always felt like their minds worked the same way and whatever the topic, talking about it with her was always interesting. And she'd also been the first person he felt comfortable enough with to share more personal things about his life. When he thought about it, it probably had something to do with that softness in her eyes when she was looking at him sometimes. He'd watched her closely over the years and never saw her do it with anyone else, even the few boyfriends she's had.

"I guess being directors of SHIELD academy can wait until we become too old for field work ..." He conceded after a moment and they both laughed.

"Yeah ... I guess you could probably talk me into that ..." She answered before looking at her watch. "Fancy getting some takeout and go eat by the lake? Sunset should be amazing tonight ..." She asked as they were getting to their dorm building. Fitz held the door open and gestured for her to get in with an exaggerated arm gesture, and she did, scrunching her nose in that cute way she did whenever he did something a bit odd.

"Sure, that'd be nice, I could probably use some fresh air!" Eating their meals together was not even a question anymore, the only question was what they would eat and where they'd eat it.

Just as they were getting into the elevator leading to the upper floors, Jemma got a notification on her phone and got it out of her bag.

"Strange ..." She half whispered. "My sister tried to call me, must have been while we were in the engineering building, there's no signal there ... but she should be in bed at this hour and she almost never calls anyway, always texts or emails me if she wants to talk ..." She added, looking a little worried.

"I'm sure it's nothing ..." Fitz said, putting his hand on her shoulder with a reassuring smile. "... but you should call her back just in case. I'll go put these in my room ..." He added, nodding towards the pile of books he was holding. "... grab a sweater and a blanket and I'll come pick you up in ten minutes so we can go get dinner, yeah?" He finished and she smiled back at him.

"Yes ... of course. see you in a bit then ..." She answered when the elevator door opened to Fitz's floor.

"See you!" He answered and got out to walk towards his room.

-0-0-0-

Fitz didn't really need ten minutes to get to his room and gather a sweater and blanket but he thought he'd give her time to have a proper conversation with her sister if she needed to. Jemma and Amy hadn't been really close until a few years ago. Jemma was six years older which didn't make things easy in the first place and even though Amy was a smart girl, she wasn't Jemma smart and for a long time they had trouble communicating. But when Amy started changing from a little girl to a teenager, she reached out to her older sister for advice about boys and other things Fitz probably couldn't understand and Jemma was over the moon. She was really happy to finally have a relationship with her sister.

When he thought enough time had passed, Fitz put the blanket and his sweater in his backpack then grabbed his keys and left his room to go to Jemma's.

He knew something was off the minute he got out of the elevator and saw that Jemma's door was open. She never left her door open. He ran for the few remaining meters and was startled when he found her just behind the threshold, her hand on the door handle like she was about to go out. She was pale as a ghost and her face was completely devoid of expression, which usually never happened. Jemma always wore her emotions on her face but in that moment, she could have been a robot version of herself except for the shaking of her hands.

"Sim-Jemma, what is it? What's wrong? Are you sick?" He asked, trying not to let the panic in his voice show too much.

She didn't react.

So he gently took her hands in his and made her walk backwards until he could close the door behind him. Whatever was wrong with her, it was no one else's business.

"Simmons? Jemma?" he asked softly one more time. "Talk to me Jemma ..."

"I-I wanted to come to ... to see you but I-I ..." She started, her voice breathless and barely a whisper like she'd just run a marathon. "I couldn't ... move ..." She finished, still not looking into his eyes but at a distant point over his shoulder.

"That's alright ... I'm here now ..." He half whispered, unconsciously lowering his own voice to her level. Keeping her hands in his, he started rubbing his thumbs softly against her palms. "Tell me ..."

"My parents ... on the road ... there was an-an accident and ..." She started, finally looking into his eyes and something clenched in his chest. It seemed like she was finally out of her trance and her eyes were rapidly filling with tears. He didn't need her to finish her sentence, he could read it in her eyes. People had been saying that they shared a psychic link for years and for once he wished that it wasn't true, that he couldn't read her so well, that he was mistaking.

"They ... they didn't survive Fitz ... they're-they're ..." He was just quick enough to gather her in his arms before she fell. He couldn't stop her from falling completely though. It felt like she had all the weight of the world on her shoulders and he wasn't strong enough to hold it for her. He managed to slowly make her sit on the floor with him and he could only hold her as she broke into pieces in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jemma?" Fitz said softly as he rubbed her shoulder. "Jemma, we'll be there soon ..."

He was loathe to wake her up when she looked so peaceful but the plane was starting its descent and there would be so many things to do when they land in Sheffield that he wanted her to have a little time to prepare. 

The previous twenty four hours had been so strange and sad and chaotic. He didn't know how long he held her when she first told him about her parent's death but he knew that her room was already dark when her phone rang and she finally moved away from him. As she spoke with her aunt and several other family members, Fitz felt utterly useless. He never had to go through the loss of a loved one since his father. And he didn't die, he just abandoned him, didn't think his son was interesting enough to stay. Since he was ten, Fitz always thought it would have been less painful if his father had died. The pain would have still been there but not the rejection. For a long time actually, when people asked about his parents, he'd say his father was dead because it felt less shameful. Jemma was the first person to whom he told the truth and she was the first to make him believe what his mother had always tried to do: that the only worthless person was his father, not him. But now that he saw the state Jemma was in, he wasn't so sure of what was worse anymore and probably never would.

He didn't really know how to react so he decided to use the logical part of his brain. He knew Jemma would have a lot to do that he couldn't do for her so he focused on what he could and took care of finding the earliest plane to Sheffield. Not even once, it occurred to him to let her go alone. He didn't know if that was what friends or even best friends were supposed to do but he couldn't let Jemma be on her own, not after the way she clung to him all night even once she'd fallen asleep. He'd only ever saw her cry, really cry once after a bad break up and he didn't think that a night of junk food and making fun of the guy who was making her sad would be enough to cheer her up this time. It was quite overwhelming seing her like this but he wanted to be there in this terrible moment just like they'd been there for each other in their really good days.

"Fitz?" She asked, her voice still raspy from sleep, her eyes painfully fluttering open. 

"Yeah ..." He answered in a soft voice. "Sorry to wake you up but we'll be landing soon, I thought you might want to have time to wake up properly ..." He added and she gave him a weak smile.

"Oh yes ... yeah you're right thank you Fitz" She said rubbing her eyes and stretching her arms and legs as best as she could in the cramped space of the aircraft. When she turned back to him, looking a little more awake, he handed her a bottle of water and she took it gratefully. 

"Thank you ..." She said after drinking almost half of it.

"Oh it's nothing, I know you're always thirsty when ..."

"No I mean for everything Fitz ..."She cut him off with a soft smile. "... for staying with me last night, and taking care of everything at the academy and ... coming with me, I don't think I could have ..."

"No really it's normal ..." He shrugged bashfully. "I mean ... what else was I gonna do?" He added and she just sighed as she looped her arm in his and put her head on his shoulder. 

"Oh Fitz ... What did I ever do to deserve you?" She asked after a minute and it brought a smile to his face. He liked the fondness in her voice as she said it. 

"You chose the perfect moment to be late for the only time in your life!" He answered and even if she didn't laugh, he could feel the small smile tugging at her lips at the memory, and that was something.

-0-0-0-

After the peaceful twenty minutes spent with Fitz, reality came crashing down on Jemma the moment she got out of the plane. She knew her aunt and sister would be there to welcome her and she wanted to be with them and grieve together but there was also a small part of her that didn't want to leave that plane and stay there with Fitz. She knew it was incredibly selfish of her but with him, she didn't need to look strong or be anything anyone expected of her. With him, she could be a complete wreck, attach herself to him and never let go, and he wouldn't think of her as weak because he knew her more deeply than that and knew how strong she really was even if it didn't always show in the most obvious ways.

But it wouldn't be possible, at least not for the next few days, or weeks, so she took a big breath and walked inside. She didn't need to scan the crowd for long to find her sister and aunt Beth. It was really late and they weren't many people on their flight so there weren't many people waiting to pick up their friends or family either. She tried to put on a brave face for them as she made eye contact and the next second, she was engulfed in a big hug.

-0-0-0-

Strangely enough the worst part wasn't the week that followed Jemma's arrival. There were so many things to do, mountains of paperwork to take care of, things to organize, people to contact, that she didn't really have the time to realize what was happening. Jemma's parents had lived in this house for almost thirty years and being both doctors, they made a lot of friends and acquaintances who wanted to pay their respect to the family. And as grateful as Jemma was for their nice words of sympathy and condolences, she spent most of those days craving for just a little bit of quiet time with her sister or Fitz.

Yet somehow, it's when things finally got quieter that all her sadness and worries for the future crept back on her. As she walked from her room to the living room in the silent house, it seemed like everything reminded her something about her parents and how they made this house a happy place. Her fingers grazed the ugly vase that Amy and her had spent hours piecing back together when they accidentally broke it because they were afraid of what their parents would say. Only to see them laugh to tears when they came home that day. The vase had been a gift from some cousin and they hated it and had always actually prayed for one of the girls to break it by accident to have a good reason to get rid of it. In the end, they kept it because they felt bad at the idea of throwing it away when the girls had spent so much time trying to repair it.

it was so strange for this house to be so silent, friends and family had always been welcome at any time and it was actually quite rare for her parents not to have anyone in one of the guest bedrooms. They always said that it was no use being wealthy and having a big house if you were always alone in it. She remembered fondly how Fitz had felt a little intimated the first time he came -he'd lived in a much more modest house in Glasgow with his mom- but it soon dissipated once he'd met them and they all started making jokes at Jemma's expense. She'd acted like she was terribly annoyed by it but she was secretly pleased to see her parents approve of her best friend, especially knowing how Fitz was always craving for a father figure.

And how could they not approve of Fitz? Wonderful, adorable, reliable Fitz. He'd been there to hold her hand during the ceremony. He'd been there to help her organize all the paperwork and make sure she didn't forget anything when she knew how much he hated that, and he was there to make stupid jokes to keep her from drowning in her sorrow and worries. From the day they met at the academy, their friendship had grown quickly and he became her best friend without her really realizing it, it's been a perfectly organic process. But since she received the news of her parent's death, it was like she was discovering him all over again. He's always been sweet and caring under his sometimes prickly exterior but until now, she never had the opportunity to see the depth of his dedication to her and it was breathtaking. At least, she told herself, something beautiful had come out of all this horrible situation.

-0-0-0-

Absorbed as she was in her memories, she didn't hear him approach until his hand gently touched her shoulder, startling her a bit. She turned around to see him smile. These days everyone was giving her this sweet/sad smile and she was growing horribly tired of it. Fitz knew it of course and that's why his smile was tender but also a bit mischievous, like when he had an idea for one of his ridiculous pranks or had found the solution to one of their problems in the lab before her. 

Whatever her mood was a few seconds ago, she couldn't help reciprocating his smile.

"What is it Fitz?" 

"I wanna show you something ... do you have a moment?" He asked, moving impatiently from one foot to the other. 

"Sure ... Should I pack a bag as well?" She answered with a raised eyebrow, seing that he had a backpack on his shoulders.

"No no I've got everything we need. Come on we don't have much time ..." He let out enthusiastically as he grabbed her hand to lead her out of the house and she followed him with a small smile on her face.

Jemma was raised in this house and this neighborhood yet, somehow, as Fitz led her through the garden and into the small woods behind her parent's house, it seemed like he knew his way better than she did. And he only ever been here twice. 

"Fitz, where are we ..." She started but he cut her off.

"Just wait it's only a fifteen minutes walk away but we have to hurry" He said with a warm smile and she noticed he still hadn't let go of her hand so she just smiled, nodded and kept on walking. Whatever he had in mind anyway, she knew she could trust him.

It's only when they got at the bottom of a small hill that she understood where he was leading them and her smile widened. They climbed for a few minutes and once on top, they were greeted with a breathtaking sight. Down on the other side of that hill was a small lake with the horizon open to the west and since it was just past nine PM, the colors of the setting sun were already reflecting on it. With only the sound of birds and the wind in the trees, it was such a peaceful atmosphere.

When she turned to look at him, his smile was shy and little expectant. "I owed you a sunset so ..."

"... and this one is perfect!" She said as she took back the hand she had let go of when they were climbing and started running down towards the lake like she always did with her sister. Once they were there, her arm went around his waist almost of its own volition and his went around her as her head rested on his shoulder. Their movements were so smooth that an outside observer could have thought that they rehearsed it when really these kinds of gestures just came more and more naturally to them.

They remained that way for a moment, almost hypnotized by the slow descent of the Sun, until Jemma shivered involuntarily. Even with Fitz's unnaturally hot skin against her, she was starting to get cold. The wind was getting stronger and it would soon be night. Without a word, he detached himself from her and started foraging in his backpack until he found a sweater and she gratefully took it from him. 

"It's one of mine's, I hope you don't mind ..." He said with a small grin.

"Of course I don't mind. A borrowed sweater is always more comfortable anyway!" She answered, reciprocating his grin. 

"I noticed that. Half of your sweaters used to be my sweaters!" he answered and she grinned even wider.

"You can have one of mine to even things out if you like ..." 

"'kay ... but I want the pretty one with flowers on it!" He said and she burst out laughing. Fitz wasn't the manliest man she knew but imagining him wearing her delicate flowery cardigan was just too funny. 

"I'm not kidding Jemma, this one's lucky, you wore it to every exam we've ever had." He added as he started to unfold the blanket he brought for them to sit on it, and she gently rolled her eyes.

"Oh Fitz, there's no such thing as a lucky cardigan. This one's just extra comfy is all. And anyway how could you know I wore it to every exam, we didn't even know each other during our first three months at the Academy." 

"We never spoke before but it doesn't mean I hadn't noticed you. Until we bumped into each other that morning and introduced each other, in my head you were the girl with the flower cardigan" He said with a small smile she couldn't help cooing a bit. 

"Awww .... you had a nickname for me before we even met?" She asked and even if her tone was a bit teasing, she actually found it kind of sweet that, even before they really met, he cared about her enough to give her a nickname.

"To be fair though ... sometimes it was the annoying girl with the flower cardigan!" He answered, his smile turning a bit mischievous, and she swatted his arm. "... but only when you kept answering every teacher's questions before any of us had the time to raise our hand!" He added and she blushed, knowing perfectly well she tended to do that during her first months at the Academy. It was mostly a way to compensate for being the youngest and though feeling a bit insecure, but still she had to admit that it must have been annoying. 

"Well I'm glad you were able to see past me being a know it all, and I-I'm really glad that you're here for me these days, I couldn't have done it without you ..." She said, putting her head back on his shoulder once they were comfortably seated on the red tartan blanket.

She could feel the blush on his face without even looking up at him. They didn't open up about their feelings very often but she was a bit raw these days and now more than ever she felt like it was important not to wait to tell the people you loved how grateful you were for their presence. Obviously he didn't know what to answer so he took her hand once more and it was probably even better than anything he could have said. 

"I mean it's so relaxing and pretty in here when ... back there, there's so much I have to do and decide about the house, about Amy, about ..." She started and as he must have felt the tremor in her voice, he cut her off by giving her hand one more squeeze.

"Hey hey there'll be plenty of time to think about that tomorrow and the days after that and you know I'll help you any way I can but for now let's just ... watch the sunset" He said finally looking down at her. The lights of the setting sun were reflected in his beautiful blue eyes and once more, she was reminded of how soft and intense they could be at the same time. She couldn't find a thing to say so she just smiled and turned back her gaze towards the Sun. He was right, the following days and probably weeks would be complicated enough so she decided to enjoy this perfect moment with her favorite person in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

Naively, Fitz had thought the hard part was behind him. He'd been through four years of SHIELD academy, finished top of all his classes except the ones he had in common with Jemma and even survived that month he had to work with a cadet from Sci-Ops. But he had completely underestimated how ridiculously complicated SHIELD bureaucracy could be. Of course, if he was completely honest, he had relied on Jemma a bit too much for these things in the past years but really, it was already complicated when he could talk face to face with those people but when he had to do everything by e-mail or worse on the phone, it was an absolute nightmare. 

But after hours of refraining himself from screaming, he had finally managed to set everything in order for Jemma and him. Now the only thing left to do was arrange for someone to be there on their behalf at the graduation ceremony and of course officially sign their contract ... provided that Jemma wouldn't change her mind now that her situation was much different from when they'd first received the job offer. 

Looking for professor Weaver's name in his contact list, he was about to hit the call button when Jemma entered the room. He'd gotten used to work in the drawing room since they arrived in Sheffield ten days ago because it was quiet and comfy, but also because it was where Jemma used to work when she was a teenager and it was still full of her science equipment. For Fitz it felt a bit weird. When he was a teenager if he wanted to work in peace, he had to go to his own small and messy room or to the makeshift lab he had created in the basement, which he had to share with the water heater, the washing machine and really anything his mom couldn't store anywhere else. 

"Do you have a moment to talk?" Jemma asked with a small smile, wringing her hands nervously in front of her.

"Oh ...hum yeah ... yes of course ..." He answered, closing his laptop and trying not to convey how her nervousness made him nervous. Whatever she had to say, it looked like it wouldn't be good. 

"Great ... thank you!" She said with that same nervous smile as she took the seat closest to him at the small round table. "So hum ... I talked to Amy and we've decided what we were going to do next year and well ... the years to come."

"Ok ..." Fitz said, tilting his head to the side, encouraging her to continue. 

"We want to stay together but hum ... well she knows how important my work and my life in the US are so she's willing to come with me. I've talked with a few people at SHIELD and they said they could help me find a high school for her. Of course she'd need to take a few extra classes 'cause she'll be a bit behind on some classes and quite a bit ahead on some others but ... well we think she can do it ..." Jemma finished and Fitz let go of the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Of course, he would help her in any way he could but at this moment, the only thing that really imprinted on his mind was that she would stay in the US, in SHIELD and they would keep working and seing each other every day.

"Oh that's ... yeah-that's really good Jemma and you know I'll help you anyway I can right?" He answered, taking her hand and squeezing it lightly as he gave her a warm smile. 

"I know Fitz but ... it also means that things are going to be a little different for us as well and I'm so sorry ..." She started and he furrowed his brows in confusion. 

"Oh ..."

"Well yeah ... money's going to be a bit tighter than planned and of course there'll be so much to take care of here so I'll have to cancel our vacations Fitz ..."

"Oh that!" He breathed out in relief. "Honestly from the moment you got the news, it was obvious to me that we wouldn't be able to make it and that's perfectly fine ..."

"But you've been waiting for it for so long, I've never seen you so excited about anything since we visited Stark labs ..."

"Of course Jemma!' He cut her off. "But those are special circumstances and you're more important than a road trip ... or even a visit to Stark labs!" He added and she let out a small laugh as she squeezed his hand between both of hers. 

"Oh Fitz ..." She let out with a warm smile before it fell from her face again. "I'm so sorry to let you down like that ... with our holidays and the flat and ..."

"What? What about the flat?" He asked in complete confusion.

"Well I told you Amy's going to come and live with me ..."

"Yeah ..."

"... So that means you're going to have to look for a flat ..."

"Yeah ... well that's what we had planned anyway ..." 

He was getting more and more confused by the minute.

"No Fitz I mean on your own ..."

"Oh ..." He simply let out, his back falling against the armchair, taking his hand away from hers. As much as he tried to compose himself again quickly so she wouldn't see the hurt on his face, he obviously failed because when she spoke again, her voice was wobbly and sounded like she was close to tears. 

"Fitz I'm so sorry, I wish things were different it's just ..."

"No no I get it Amy doesn't want to live with a man she barely knows, she wants to be with her sister ..." He cut her off, trying his best to put a smile on his face, even though he knew his disappointment was still visible in his eyes. He couldn't blame her for that situation and for doing what was best for her sister obviously, but that didn't mean he wasn't sad at the idea that he wouldn't be living with his best friend when they had planned this for years.

"What? No Fitz you know Amy loves you!" Jemma cut him off.

"Then what? I don't mean to trouble you even more it's just ... I don't understand." He said with the softest voice he could muster as he leaned on the armrest to get closer to her.

"It's just ... I can't ask you that Fitz ... We were finally adults in this country, we were going to have our first flat, paid with our own money and without having to follow any rules but our own ..." And almost against his own will, Fitz smiled a bit at that because of course Jemma would want to create rules when there were no one else's to follow. "... you don't want to live with a teenager, it would be like living in a dorm room all over again ..." She finished and he breathed a small sigh of relief. 

"Oh ... but I don't see that I have a choice here ..." He answered and she was the one to look at him in confusion, her nose adorably scrunched up, which brought a small smile to his face. "Obviously you need to live with Amy and I have to live with you because I don't think I can live without you. So unless either of you prefer not to live with me, which I'd understand, then you're stuck with me!" He finished, crossing his arms over his chest in a way that seemed to mean it was final. 

"You can't live without me?" She repeated after a moment of stunned silence and her tone was equal part fond and teasing.

"Well .... maybe it's a bit of an exaggeration but let's be honest if you're not here to tell me to eat vegetables, I will regress to junk food and probably end up getting scurvy or something!" He answered and she laughed out loud. "And also I'd miss you way too much ..." He added more quietly.

"Oh Fitz ..." She let out one more time and stood up to come sit next to him to give him a side hug. The armchair was big and they were both quite small but she still had to put her legs across his lap. The sudden and unexpected closeness made his breath hitch. He was getting used to the hugs, the occasional head on his shoulder or hand holding when either of them needed support but that was something else. Not that it wasn't nice, just very unusual. So he tried his best to relax so she wouldn't think she was making him uncomfortable. In any normal situation he would have suffered through anything for his best friend, but these days, her comfort and happiness was his number one priority even if it meant pushing the boundaries of his precious personal space.

"You know I'd miss you too right? But are you really sure you want to do that? That's not what we had planned and it's going to be much more complicated. We might have to live further from Sci-Ops to find a place big enough and then even if I do my best to take care of everything it's still ..."

"Jemma stop!" He cried out loud enough for her to stop her rambling. "The only thing you should be worrying about is do you and Amy want to live with me?"

"Yes ... yes I do Fitz, of course I do!" She answered with a smile after looking at his face for any sign of hesitation that contradicted his words and didn't find any. 

"Then it's settled, with both our income I'm sure we'll have no trouble finding a nice place to live for the three of us and I'll get to discover all those stuff siblings are supposed to do together and of course ... your legendary Sunday brunch!" He finished with a wide grin and he was rewarded with ... Jemma bursting to tears. 

Which was definitely not what he expected. 

"Oh no Jemma what ..." He started but she cut him off quickly.

"God I'm so-sorry for getting so emotional it's just ... I-you ... thank you for making things so easy for me Fitz!" She said, smiling through her tears and burying her face in the crook of his neck. "I know I'm a wreck right now but I'll make it up to you, I will!" 

"You don't have to Jemma, that's what best friends are for ..." He answered, tentatively putting his arm around her shoulders. "... as long as we agree on Sunday brunch!" He added more quietly as he turned to speak almost directly into her ear like it was some sort of secret and she chuckled. 

"Deal!"

"Fitz?" She asked after a moment of silence.

"Mmmhmm?" 

"I've completely invaded your personal space. Haven't I?" She almost whispered like she was afraid to break the spell of this nice quiet moment. 

"Yeah ... a bit I guess ..." He answered just as softly with a low chuckle. Of course that was quite an understatement. As she hugged him even tighter, she ended up sitting fully on his lap with her face still nestled in the crook of his neck. He also realized that his arms had slid a little lower and he was holding her around the waist.

"And doesn't that bother you?" She asked, her tone slightly playful. She knew perfectly well how physical contact could make him uncomfortable.

"Na 's fine ..." He let out after a moment's hesitation. "I know how hard it is for you to keep your hands off me!" He added, with more bravado than he actually felt and she swatted his arm playfully all without moving away from him. 

"Well I have to admit you're quite comfy ..."

"Oh so is that all I am to you? Some sort of living armchair?" He asked in fake hurt.

"Of course no ... you're also really good for fixing broken things and preparing excellent tea ..." She answered and he rolled his eyes. He would have pushed her away to show his fake annoyance but he had to admit it was quite comfortable for him as well. Jemma wasn't very heavy and she was warm and always smelt nice. And even if his shyness always made physical contact a bit awkward for him, it didn't mean that he couldn't appreciate such a pure and sweet display of affection. 

"Fitz I've noticed something ..." Jemma added, her tone still a little playful. 

"I swear it's just my phone Jemma ..." He grinned.

"What are ... urgh Fitz!" She cried out and he burst out laughing. 

After silencing him with a roll of her eye and a glare that would have been more intimidating if she wasn't still snuggled up against him, she added: "No what I meant to say was that I noticed how you've been calling me Jemma instead of Simmons a lot more recently ..."

"Oh ... yeah I guess now that you mention it ... does that-hum-does that bother you?" he answered, blushing a bit. 

"Of course not!" She answered with a fond smile. "We started that whole calling ourselves by our family name thing because we thought it would make us look older and more professional but I don't think we need that anymore, do you?" 

"No ... I guess not ..." 

"So I was thinking ... since you're going to live with two Simmonses now, it would only make sense that you keep calling me Jemma or it might get confusing!" 

"Oh yeah ... makes sense!" He answered, finally understanding what she was getting at. "As long you all remember that I hate my first name and we should all keep calling me Fitz and my mother is still the only person allowed to call me Leo ... mostly because she wouldn't call me anything else anyway!" He finished with a small eye roll and she laughed. 

"Of course Fitz ... I'll add that to our roommate agreement ..." She answered with a small grin.

"Oh God you were serious when you mentioned a roommate agreement, weren't you?" 

"Of course I was, it makes perfect sense Fitz!" 

"Sure I should have known ... No one loves rules as much as you do ... Is it too late to change my mind about living with you?" He teased and she gave him a playful punch in the shoulder and hugged him again even tighter than before before he had the time to react.

"Yep ... you're stuck with me Fitz!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the reason I started writing this story. I've seen quite a few nice stories about FitzSimmons raising a baby together as friends for many different reasons and I thought it'd be interesting to see them "raise" a teenager together and have to deal with all the troubles it could bring.  
> I didn't want to spend too much time on the actual funeral and quickly skip to the repercussions of this event in the weeks and months to come. And that's why I barely introduced Amy until now. I wanted this first part to be mostly about just Fitz and Simmons and their friendship before the nice life they had planned together is turned upside. So you can still expect some sadness and angst but there will also be a lot of fluff, some fun siblings bonding and shenanigans and of course some romance !


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter a bit early and was about to wait until Monday to post it but then I realized today was Fitz’s birthday and I thought it’d be nice to post it now since it’s kind of an ode to how perfect and adorable Fitz always is. And the next few chapters should focus not only on Jemma and Fitz’s relationship (even there’ll still be a loooot of this) but also on their relationship with Amy and all of them adjusting to their new life, etc ...

The two following months were probably the longest and loneliest Fitz has had to go through in a on long time. It's also during those two months that he realized how codependent him and Jemma had become. Since the summer break between their first and second year at the Academy, they never spent more than a few weeks apart. After that, even during the summer, they'd managed to meet up either in Sheffield or Glasgow, at first with the pretense of working on some project or another but soon they admitted that life was just not as interesting when they were apart.

So when Jemma suggested that he left to go to their graduation ceremony, at first he refused. They went through four years of Academy together and he couldn't imagine going there without her. But she reminded him how hard they worked to get there and insisted that at least one of them should be there to get all the honors and prove to all those who said they were too young and couldn't handle the pressure that not only they could but they were the best at it.   
So he went and he was just as lonely and miserable as he thought he would be but Jemma was right and it was still nice to stand proud on the stage and receive the honors for Jemma and him. His mother also seemed immensely proud and when he thought back on it, he realized that Jemma probably knew how important it was for her and that's why she insisted and it made him even more grateful to have such a wonderful friend in his life. Also, he got to say goodbye to the few other people he managed to befriend while he was there and it gave him some sort of closure to help him move on to the next phase of his life under circumstances that were not as easy as he thought they would. 

Strangely enough, if time seemed to pass terribly slowly at some points -especially on the few nights a week they usually spent together watching TV or going out for a drink- it also felt like he would never get enough of it to do everything that had to be done here in the US while Jemma was taking care of things back home in Sheffield.

Setting up into their new lab at SciOps was probably one of the hardest things he had to do. Not that he couldn't work without her, after all they had very different expertise and they still had to work separately on certain projects back at the academy. But Fitz knew that the reason they'd been offered a lab all to themselves, which was really rare for two young cadets, was because they worked so well together. And even though he'd already been praised for the first project he had achieved in the last few weeks, he still felt a bit lost without Jemma, not that he would admit it to her. He knew she was much more courageous when it came to affronting something new even if he knew -because she told him so during one of their many skype sessions since they were separated- how much she missed him. After all, one of the reasons they failed their field assessments -apart from their obvious lack of fighting skills- was because they were so co-dependant and could be a weakness to each other. And it had taken a talk with his mum asking him one more time if he made other friends to realize it probably wasn't completely untrue. Not that his mother didn't like Jemma, she loved her actually, she just felt like it'd be good for him to expand his circle of friends. He always said he was too shy and grumpy to make new friends, and to some extant it was true, but the truth was mostly that he just never could find someone that was half as interesting as Jemma. 

But as hard as it was, he managed to do it and Jemma would be home with Amy in a few hours and at work with him on monday. And if he was incredibly happy at the idea of finally seeing her again, he was also equally impatient and anxious to see her reaction to their new home. With everything she's had to do in Sheffield, she had trusted him with finding an apartment. She only told him that she'd be fine as long as it had three bedrooms and wasn't too far from Sci-Ops and Amy high's school in a relatively safe neighborhood. 

And on that front, Fitz was actually quite proud of himself. Because if she seemed to be quite enthusiastic with the pics he'd sent her of their new home, he hid a few things from her. They had agreed to lower their expectations for this apartment in order to be able to get something bigger but he knew the kind of features Jemma always dreamed of and he impressed himself when he managed to find a place with all those and make it fit within their budget. So he thought it'd be nice to surprise her and Amy. Give them both something to smile about when they'd get here. 

But still, it would be the place they'd live together for years -well until one of them, probably Jemma, found someone else to live with- and he really hoped he made the right choice. With that in mind, Fitz took his wallet and car keys and left the apartment to pick Jemma and Amy up from the airport. She actually told him that he didn't have to but she wasn't too hard to persuade and Fitz had felt a warm flutter in his heart at the idea that she missed him enough to want to see him as soon as she got out of the plane. And even though he tried to convince her with notions of practicality, he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel the same. 

-0-0-0-

Jemma felt like there was a lump in her throat as she took the plane to Boston with Amy. In the last few years, she didn't come home quite as much as she wanted to but at least, every time she left she made the promise to her parents, Amy and herself that she wouldn't wait so long to visit the next time. And even if she knew her parents never blamed her for it and were very proud of what she did in SHIELD -at least the part she could talk to them about- she would never stop feeling guilty for not making good on her promises. Because now that they were on their way to Boston and even though she still had family to visit and hopefully her Aunt Beth would be able to keep the house, going home would never be the same again. And now she couldn't help wondering if she would really ever consider herself at home. 

She would always have fond memories of the Academy, most of them involving Fitz and the projects they had together. Or just them watching TV together with insane amounts of pop corn or working until the wee hours of the morning and waking up with their books sticking to their faces and Fitz's hair completely askew, which never failed to make her laugh. But she always knew that it would be temporary so all this time, she still always felt like home was her childhood house. And working with SHIELD, she knew she would probably never stay more than a few years in the same place. Actually, it was quite a privilege that she managed to get a written contract assuring her that her and Fitz could remain stationed together in Boston at least until Amy went to college. 

"Jem? Jemma? Hey can you hear me?" She was interrupted in her thoughts by the voice of Amy and the feeling of her finger poking repeatedly and quite rudely into her shoulder.

"Hey stop that!" She cried out with a roll of her eyes as she swatted her hand away. 

"Then stop ignoring me!" 

"Oh ... sorry ... I was a bit lost in thoughts I guess ..." She replied a little more softly.

"You think?" Amy teased gently. 

"So what did you want?"

"The plane has started its descent! We'll be arriving soon. Is it still long once we're at the airport?" She asked with a little desperation in her voice. "I'm completely knackered" 

"I don't know ... hopefully customs shouldn't take too long, being in SHIELD has its privileges ... and then it should be a thirty minutes drive or so ... Fitz is coming to pick us up so ..." She let the sentence hang for a second, unable to hide the smile tugging her lips at the simple mention of his name. Fortunately, Amy was too relieved at the idea of having her personal driver to notice or comment on it. 

"Oh yes ... that man is a gift from God I'm telling you!" She sighed and Jemma arched a teasing eyebrow at her. "Well not LITERALLY a gift from God 'cause we don't really believe in that but you know ... he's like ... really … cool or something ..." Amy finished a bit lamely. 

"Yes he is ..." Jemma replied, smiling warmly. She would have to remember that and repeat it to Fitz because neither of them had been called "really cool » a lot growing up and he would probably like that a lot.

-0-0-0-

Just as planned, they went through customs quite rapidly and soon they found themselves in the arrivals area. Their plane was quite full and considering it was a Saturday afternoon, the hall was packed with people waiting for their loved ones. Fitz not exactly being a giant (he wasn't short though, it was just americans that were freakishly tall, they both insisted on it!), she couldn't spot him immediately. But after only a few seconds, she locked eyes with him and her smile grew wider than it probably had in weeks. They did make a few other friends at the Academy but nothing that was close to the kind of relationship they shared and they got so used to look out for each other everywhere they went that sometimes it felt like their eyes had some kind of magnetic way of attracting each other (however scientifically inaccurate and ridiculously romantic that sounded but she had been feeling more emotional than usual recently and she guessed it was okay to just think it!)

She tried to make her way to him but with the crowd of people carrying huge suitcases and bags, stoping and hugging without caring for the two small British girls trying to walk past them, it was just impossible. So after a simple exchange of looks they both turned sideways to meet outside of the crowd. 

When they were only a meter away from each other, Fitz stopped, smiling shyly at her, putting his hands in his pockets then taking them out and scratching his neck in this very familiar nervous gesture. Silly Fitz ... Well if he suddenly didn't know how to act around her, she certainly did know how much she'd been missing her best friend in the last two months. 

Letting her small suitcase and handbag fall to the ground, she closed the remaining gap between them and crashed into him, almost making him lose balance with the force of the impact. Encircling his torso, she nestled her face into his neck and he immediately responded by putting his arms around her shoulders, pulling her even closer with a small laugh. Letting out a small contented sigh, she relaxed into his embrace. It was true that he wasn't the biggest or tallest man she knew but he was always warm and the just perfect size to hold and be held by her and in this moment, nothing else mattered. 

"I missed you!" She breathed into his neck and she could feel him smile more than she saw him as he answered. 

"Missed you too Jemma ..." 

-0-0-0-

"Huhum ... guys? Remember I'm here too? » Amy let out with an annoyed tone after a minute of them just standing in the middle of the airport, hugging. "My god ... get a room ... we're not even out of the airport and I already feel like a third wheel » She mumbled more to herself than for their benefit.

Fitz tried to disentangle himself from her, embarrassment evident on his face, but Jemma had another idea. Reaching out a little blindly behind her, she grabbed Amy's hand and pulled her into the hug, leaving her almost sandwiched between her and Fitz. 

"Hu no gross! I don't want to be a part of this!" Amy cried out and Fitz and Jemma couldn't help laughing. 

"Well it's just a hug and you better get used to it cause you're my two favorite people and I have an unlimited amount of hugs to give. And I will come and hug you a lot in front of your new high school friends if you keep suggesting Fitz and I are a couple!" Jemma chirped with a satisfied smile. Fitz's face was a mix of amusement and embarrassment and it was quite adorable actually. 

Yes, they were really close and more than once, people had asked if they were a couple. Since he barely left her side for two weeks after her parent's death, most of her family assumed he was her boyfriend as well. Of course, it was to be expected, very few people understood what a real friendship like theirs could mean and honestly she didn't really care what most people thought. But Amy was her sister and she hoped that she would soon understand what made her relationship with Fitz so special. She was glad that she found him "cool or something" but she hoped she soon realized how truly wonderful and special he really was. 

"Alright alright I won't! Now let go of me you big freak!" Amy cried out but there was no bite to it and it both actually made them giggle as they finally all took a step backwards. 

"Wow the amount of sisterly love here is breathtaking!" He let out teasingly while looking at Amy. 

"Get used to it Leo!" She grinned back. 

"Jemma!" He whined. "I thought you said you talked to her about that!" 

"I did and I'd like to tell you she's going to respect that but she really is an awful brat ..." Jemma teased, moving fast enough to mostly avoid Amy poking viciously into her shoulder. 

"God ... what have I gotten myself into?" He sighed before picking up Jemma's and some of Amy's bags. "Shall we go then?"

Some other time or to some other people, she would have reminded him that she could carry her bag on her own. But this kind of gestures came so naturally to him, it was almost unconscious. And it was not like he thought she couldn't actually do it, he just genuinely liked to do nice things for her, always had been, and she'd always found it endearing. 

"Yes Fitz ... thank you!" She said softly before pressing a soft peck to his cheek.

-0-0-0-

«Fitz you really did a nice job! This neighborhood looks lovely, the park will be perfect for my morning run and the building is really nice as well, all those flowers in the lobby ... » Jemma kept on talking as they were walking out of the elevator where their new apartment was situated. She felt at the same time immensely relieved and grateful for everything. Relieved because even though she would trust him with her own life, it was stressful to let him do everything on his own and not be in control at all for once. And grateful because well … he did do everything on his own and he’d apparently done a fantastic job. 

« So here we are, apartment 384! » Fitz declared, cutting her off with an amused smile. « I’ve had keys made for you both and the janitor on the ground floor has another set just in case! » Fitz said as he opened the locks and Jemma smiled fondly. He’d already told them that on the way here so this was obviously nervous talking. How sweet of him to be worried over what they would think when he’d already done so much. 

When he finally got the door opened, he moved aside to let them come in first and closed it once all of their bags and suitcases were inside. The first thing Jemma saw was how bigger the living room looked in reality compared to the pictures he’d send her and she smiled widely. Then she saw the big « Welcome Home Simmonses » sign actually moving towards her and she realized it was held by three dwarves and she burst out laughing. 

« Oh Fitz that’s so sweet … » She started as she moved closer to him to give him a side hug and that’s when she saw it. On the opposite wall, between two small ordinary windows Fitz had sent her pictures of, laid a breakfast nook. Even though the rest of the flat was still a bit empty (she had wanted him to wait for her to arrive to go shopping for furniture he could do without while she was still in Sheffield), he had bought a lovely little round table that would be absolutely perfect for Sunday brunches together. 

« Fitz! » She cried out once more, grabbing his hand to lead him towards it with her and he grinned happily. She’d been dreaming about it for so long but she’d abandoned the idea when they had to start looking for a three bedrooms apartment instead of two. « But what-why … how did you …? » She blurted out and he chuckled. 

« If I knew a breakfast nook was all it took to render you silent … » He teased and she rolled her eyes fondly. «I might have left a few things out of the photos I sent you, thought you’d like the surprise! »

« A few things? » She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

« JEMMAAAA! » They were interrupted by the screaming voice of Amy coming from the hallway leading to two of the three bedrooms and they both chuckled. Fitz didn’t even realize she’d left the living room and went to visit the rest of the flat on her own.

« Ah yes … there’s that as well … » He let out with his best rendition of a mysterious smile. « Just go see for yourself! » He added as he gestured for her to move first before following her. Entering the first room, she stumbled upon a beaming Amy. Jemma noticed how the bed was already assembled and made and gave Fitz’s shoulder a small squeeze. The absolute sweetheart must have spent most of his free time assembling and buying furniture and she took a mental note to find some way to repay him for all of that. But other than that, the room looked exactly like the photos. 

« Why did you scream like a banshee? » Jemma asked her sister who gave her the biggest eye roll. 

« Open the door! » She let out excitedly, gesturing towards what Jemma assumed was a cupboard but was in fact a huge dressing, complete with full length mirrors and an ingenious lighting system she suspected Fitz had something to do with and which also opened to the other room. 

« So hum … my room is actually a bit bigger but I figured the dressing would make up for it ... » He let out a little bashfully and she felt another rush of tenderness for her best friend. "So I arranged the furniture that way for now but we can still move things around if you don’t … » 

He was cut off by both Jemma and Amy engulfing him in another big group hug and he almost lost balance from the force of it." So I guess these rooms will do just fine, right? » He grinned through the small blush making its way on his cheeks at the unexpected display of affection.

« This flat’s amazing! Thank you Fitz. » Amy let out with a soft smile before moving away from them and letting herself fall flat on the bed face first. « Oh god, fis ma’ress is ama’ing! » Her voice was muffled by the fluffy pillow her face was buried into but they both got the idea.

« She called you Fitz! » Jemma whispered in his ear as she still had her head on his shoulder and one arm around his waist. She would have to stop being so cuddly with him once they were back at work but they still had two months to make up for so she guessed it would still be okay for at least a few days. 

« Yeah hopefully, it’s going to last … » He grinned. 

« So do you have anymore of those surprises? » Jemma asked. 

« Oh yeah … just down the hall, there’s a second bathroom with a bathtub in it! » 

« ‘id anyone fay fome’ing about a baftub? » 

-0-0-0-

Once they’ve had a full tour of the apartment with Fitz grinning as he showed them every detail he’d kept a surprise and every little improvement he added himself and the sisters pestering him with questions, they ended up in the living room, enjoying their tea, seated on the big comfy couch and armchairs Fitz had already bought. 

« So tell me Fitz … did you actually solve cold fission while I was gone? » Jemma asked with a mischievous smile.

« Uh? »

« Or sold one of your designs to the enemy? » 

« Jemma what are you … »

« ‘Cause there’s no way we can afford this flat with what SHIELD pays us! » She let out and he chuckled, finally understanding what she was getting at. 

« Oh no actually it’s even fifty dollars less than we said we could pay for a month. » Fitz declared with a pleased smile and Jemma arched an eyebrow. She was already very pleasantly surprised that he could find an flat for three in such a nice neighborhood but now that she was seing all those nice features, there was no way it was this cheap … if you could call cheap a rent with four digits. 

« Actually the lady from the agency insisted on showing me this flat even though it was obviously way too expensive for us but since it looked exactly like what we wanted, I couldn’t resist giving a look. And well I’d like to say I used my power of seduction but … when I met the landlady, she kept telling me I reminded her of her son who was studying abroad and well … I’m not really proud of it but I might have shared a bit more personal things about me than was necessary and at the end, I think she was ready to adopt me and I might have used it to get her to lower the rent to something we could afford … We should probably send a thank you note to that apparently awfully snobbish couple who visited the flat before me or she wouldn’t have been so intent on wanting me to have it!» He finished with a smile that was half sheepish and half proud and Jemma laughed in delight. 

« Sneaky … » She let out and his grin widened. «See, you should never underestimate your delightful Scottish charm! » She added, bumping his shoulder with a wink and he rolled his eyes. 

« Oh yeah I appeal to older women who want to adopt me … how flattering! » He let out and she giggled lightly. It was true that however hard he tried to fight it, Fitz always had something of a puppy that made people want to ruffle his hair and she supposed, when you were old enough, adopt him. 

« Thank you for everything Fitz. » She told him once more and giving her a soft smile, he lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder. 

As the tiredness of the day started falling upon her, they remained that way, sharing a quiet moment together, reminding Jemma of one of the few evenings a year at the academy when they didn’t have any work to do and could just relax in one of their rooms and spend hours talking about any topic that crossed their mind. 

After several minutes though, Fitz gently moved away from her and stood up. « So hum … I’m gonna start working on dinner and you ladies can start getting settled into your rooms or just take a bath or something … » He said and smiled fondly when Jemma’s eyes sparkled at the mention of a bath. « Yeah thought so …bought a few bath thingies. Not sure they’re the right kind but I guess it should be okay for the week-end at least and then … » 

« I’m sure it’s perfect Fitz! » Jemma beamed at him. 

« Okay then … I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.» He said and made his way towards the attached kitchen.

Before she had the time to stand up, Amy, who’d been looking at her phone on one of the armchairs during the last few minutes, plopped down next to her. 

« Marry him! » She let out, fortunately low enough for him not to hear.

« Amy, I told you … »

« Seriously come on, the flat, the rooms, the dressing, the bath products and now dinner, not to mention his cute little a-a …face ... » Amy grinned at Jemma’s intense glaring. « Do you really think you could find someone more perfect? » 

« He’s not really-he’s just ... but .. no but that’s … that’s just not the point Amy! » 

« Urgh you’re hopeless! » 

-0-0-0-

A few moments later, Jemma walked from her room to the bathroom wearing only her big fluffy robe. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, she easily managed to adjust the water at a nice temperature, just shy of boiling hot, exactly how she liked it. 

Turning around to see the selection of bath thingies Fitz had bought, Jemma smiled when she saw the lavender scented bath oil he’d chosen. Somehow he’d managed to find something that smelt exactly like the shampoo she’d been using for the past two years and it made her heart flutter funnily knowing her scent was somehow imprinted on his brain just like his was in hers. 

Also, just next to it was a big flashy bottle of banana-strawberry shower gel. Grabbing it and opening the top to smell it, Jemma almost gagged at the much too sweet obviously synthetic smell of something that vaguely reminded her of banana and strawberries. It’s only when she put it back, as far away from the bathtub as possible -to avoid any spilling accident- that she noticed the rather cute cartoon monkey drawn on it and she couldn’t help the loud giggle that escaped her lips. 

« Yep … a really perfect version of himself … » She whispered to herself with a fond smile.

-0-0-0-

Later that night, as Amy had succumbed to jet lag and went to bed early, Jemma and Fitz found themselves half seating, half lying down against each other on the couch under Fitz’s old kilt blanket. Finally admitting her battle against sleep, Jemma nestled her head in the crook of Fitz’s neck and closed her eyes. As everything except the sound of Fitz’s steady heartbeat started fading away, she fell asleep feeling more at home than she had in months.


	5. Chapter 5

"Jemma's going to be soooooo pissed at you!" 

"Urgh Fitz! I didn't do anything wrong. It's not my fault their methods of teaching are cruel and archaic!" Amy answered with a roll of her eyes that reminded Fitz of her sister so much he couldn't help grinning slightly. 

"Maybe but still ... Jemma she loves rules so much she makes them up when there are none to follow! That one time we went on holidays together, I actually had to use a chair to block the door so she wouldn't barge in my hotel room and force me to wake up at ungodly hours because she had a complete schedule for the whole trip!" Fitz said in a low voice, still grinning as he remembered how annoyed she'd been for having to start the day at ten instead of eight.

"Well imagine being in the same room for three weeks and six years younger ... She made me want to go back to school Fitz!" Amy let out and they both snickered. 

"Mr Fitz?" 

"Doctor!" Fitz answered almost automatically to the middle aged woman who interrupted them with quite a severe look. "But hum ... yeah that's me ..." He added, blushing a bit. He might be here as the autority figure for Amy but considering he was still a student only a few months ago, he felt honestly much closer to her than to the strict looking woman giving him such a disapproving look. Amy had adopted a surprisingly adult look with her blouses and smart jackets and even though she shared Jemma’s brown hair and hazel eyes, she was already taller than her sister and would probably even grow to be taller than him. Sometimes, it felt like it was only yesterday that HE was fifteen and getting recruited by SHIELD and he wondered if he really did look like he was six years older now.

"Misses Jamison will see you in a few minutes." She said in a very serious tone like she was telling them the time and date of their execution. 

"Okay ... thank you" He answered with a slightly confused expression. The woman nodded and went back to her desk.

"What's the point of coming just to tell us that she'll basically be back in a minute to actually let us in the principal's office?" Amy whispered as she got a little closer to Fitz and he chuckled as it mirrored his thoughts exactly.

"Shush! You're supposed to be ashamed of yourself and I'm supposed to be mad at you!" He whispered back. He'd never been in the principal's office back in high school except that one time he'd short circuited the whole building's electric system while trying to make it more efficient. But a week later he did manage to do it, saving the school quite a lot of money and the "incident" was soon forgotten. Still, he felt like this was the type of place where you were supposed to whisper and look sheepish. 

"Oh yeah you look really mad ..." She teased.

"I can get really mad. Haven't you heard of my famous Scottish temper?"

"Oh sure I did ... Jemma says it's adorable!" Amy grinned even wider.

"Hey I'm pretty sure my lab assistant's terrified of me!" He answered, perfectly conscious that it sounded terribly childish and probably made things worse, but still incapable of stopping himself. 

"Oh please ... there's not a single version of reality where Doctor Leopold Fitz is scary!" She let out and he groaned. 

"Not a single version of reality ..." He repeated with a ridiculously high pitched voice and a bad impression of her accent. "You're such a nerd!" 

"You're one to talk ..." She replied, bumping his should for good measure. "Now will you please start sounding like an adults so you can tell her you agree with what I've done and she doesn't expell me!" She added and he rolled his eyes.

"I never said I agree with you ..."

"Oh please I know you do ... just imagine it was a monkey ..." 

"Oh no ..." He almost whined at the sad image that was now imprinted on his brain and she grinned, knowing it was probably enough to convince him. "You're evil you know that right …" He added.

"No I'm a good person, a hero actually!"

"Yeah yeah ... a true Hermione Granger you are!"

-0-0-0-

From the way Jemma looked at them BOTH, Fitz would have thought Amy and him had been planning the frog’s escape for days. When the high school principal had called, Jemma had been stuck in a lengthy reunion about one of the projects they didn’t work on together and since Fitz was logically the second emergency contact for Amy, he’d been the one to answer the call. Considering what happened to Jemma’s parents only five months ago, he’d been incredibly relieved to hear nothing had happened to her and she’d just "misbehaved", refusing to kill and dissect a frog, walking out of class with the amphibian that had the luck to fall into Amy’s hands. 

"I can’t believe you’re taking her side Fitz!" Jemma cried out, looking angrier that he’d ever seen her, at least when the anger was directed at him. "This is serious Fitz! What if she gets expelled? You were supposed to be the adult in this!" She added and Fitz sighed in exasperation. 

"Oh come on it’s not so bad, it’s not like she set the building on fire or something, they’re not going to expel her for that …"

"You don’t know that!" She cried out, poking her finger into his chest. 

"Hey!" He shouted back, moving away from her. "I didn’t do anything, just gave my opinion, it is actually pretty archaic and …" 

"Oh please it’s not the problem, you’re the adult, you were supposed to make her follow the rules. I can’t have you both …"

"Hey you know what?" He cut her off with an angry voice and from the look Amy gave him, maybe she was starting to believe he could be a little scary after all. "Since you won’t listen to me and I have better things to do than being yelled at like I’m a kid again, I’m gonna leave and let you two deal with that on your own!" He finished, grabbing his messenger bag and jacket and walking out the door but not before giving them both one last quick look and seing how shocked Jemma looked and how sheepish Amy obviously felt.

-0-0-0-

Fitz felt a little immature slamming the door like that but he had to admit it made him feel a little better. He thought Jemma would be a little annoyed by how he had dealt things at Amy’s high school but he didn’t think she would flat out yell at him like that without even letting him explain the situation. He loved his best friend, he really did but sometimes he wondered if she ever acted as a child or a teenager once in her life. 

"Trouble in paradise?" Fitz was interrupted in his internal rambling by the voice of his neighbor who he was ashamed to admit he still didn’t remember the name after several months of politely saying hello in the hallway and her accepting a few deliveries for him during the two months when he was still alone and ordering a lot of things on internet for their flat. 

"Uh?" Was all he could answer and she chuckled as they both got into the elevator.

"Sorry … didn’t mean to pry it’s just … I heard you slam the door and since you and your girlfriend usually seem to get on so well I thought …"

"Jemma’s not my girlfriend!" He interrupted her without really thinking about it. They’d been getting this so often that it’d almost become a conditioned reflex. 

"Oh … sorry ... I just assumed she was since you seem to spend …"

"’s fine we get that a lot … Jemma’s my best friend. We met at uni and we work together so it only made sense to be flatmates!" He answered and she smiled a little differently and only then he realized how it might have sounded like when he rushed to tell her Jemma wasn’t his girlfriend.

"Oh so you three are roommates then … I don’t know how you do it, I couldn’t live with one roommate even if she was my best friend but two, that’s something …"

"Well I didn’t really have a choice … " He let out matter of factly and she looked at him a little bit confused. "Amy’s not a flatmate per se, it’s not like the brat’s paying any rent!" He said chuckling and the woman, Laura or maybe Layla, he was pretty sure it was Layla actually, arched an eyebrow. "She’s Jemma’s little sister. Their parents … died last summer and Amy didn’t want to live with an aunt or uncle so …" He trailed of, giving her that awkward smile he had when he talked about their situation. Because he knew that most people didn’t know how to react apart from saying how sorry they were. That was why he didn’t tell most people about it but he had to admit it felt nice once in a while. The only person he talked about it sometimes was his mother but it always ended with her saying she was proud of him for being there for his friend but that she was worried he was putting too much weight on his shoulders and just because his father hadn’t been here for him didn’t mean that he had anything to prove. Anyone could see he wasn’t like him. 

"So things are good most of the time but I guess there’s bound to be disagreements every once in a while … " He added when she just gave him a sympathetic smile. 

"Yeah … so it’s more like a Party of five kind of living situation!" She said with a soft smile. 

"Oh no it’s only the three of us!" He answered, quite confused as he opened the door to the building for her and she gave him an amused smile and a nod as she walked through it.

"No actually it was a TV show about this family whose … but never mind I think it’s pretty amazing what you’re doing for your friend …" She said and he blushed a bit at the compliment.

"Oh it’s normal really but hum … thank you … hum …" 

"Linda, my name’s Linda …" She said with a small grin. Close enough.

"Ah sorry it’s just …"

"That’s alright Fitz, you’ve had a lot on your plate recently!" She cut him off and he smiled sheepishly at the fact that SHE obviously remembered his name. "Well it’s been nice talking to you but I really have to go now …" She added. 

"Oh yeah sorry … didn’t mean to tell you my whole life story …"

"Oh no it’s fine really, I’m the one who asked you a question in the first place and hum actually …" She said as she started rummaging through her purse for something until she finally seemed to find it. "Here’s my card …" She added with a slightly bashful smile, giving him what seemed to be a business card. "That way you won’t forget my name again and you can always call me if you feel like talking again. My cell number is on it as well …" She added and before he had the time to say anything, she started walking away.

"Thank you!" He almost cried out as she was already a bit far when he found his voice again. 

When he looked down at the card, he got even more confused by their interaction. He’d always been terrible at flirting or noticing when someone else was flirting with him but he was almost completely positive that’s what just happened. She seemed a bit older than he was but not old enough for it to be weird and anyway, all the women he’d ever dated, well all two of them, had been older than he was. And it only made sense since being a genius, he’d always been around older women except for Jemma. And if it hadn’t played in his favor in high school, at the academy, a place where intelligence was praised, being the young new prodigy had at least appealed to a few girls. But the card read: Linda Martin, psychotherapist. So has she been flirting or trying to find a new client?

-0-0-0-

"Well … now that Fitz is gone, can you please explain yourself?" Jemma was already exasperated that she had to leave work so early to try and fix Amy’s mess but now she’d managed to get herself into a fight with Fitz and that pretty much never happened, not seriously anyway. 

"There’s nothing to explain, they wanted me to kill a frog to teach me something they could have taught me a thousand other ways and I refused and I left class … What did you want me to do?" Amy let out in a much calmer tone than her sister.

"Oh I don’t know … just do as you’re told so you don’t get expelled and deported!" Jemma cried out, finally stopping her rapid pacing to stand in front of Amy with her hands on her hips and Amy rolled her eyes exaggeratedly.

"Oh please Jemma, don’t be so dramatic ... I’m not gonna be deported for leaving one class …"

"You don’t know that!" Jemma cut her off. 

"And anyway, mum would have supported me, she always said you should fight for your principles!" Amy barreled on. 

"Oh please don’t use mum against me, things are different now!"

"I’m not using her I’m just trying to remind you that sometimes moral principles are more important than rules!"

They were both screaming at this point and Jemma felt like she was back when they were kids and so different that it was sometimes hard to understand each other without fighting and screaming. 

"Oh that’s easy for you to say, you never had to deal with the consequences of your actions but I do Amy! I have to keep you in school and I have to deal with so many things these days I barely have the time to sleep. I’m just so …" 

"Oh sure it’s so easy to lose your parents in a car accident and then lose all your friends to move to another country just so you …"

"Hey I didn’t force you to come! You could have stayed at Aunt Beth’s!"

"I CAME TO BE WITH YOU! I thought things would be easier if we were together but maybe I was wrong, obviously things would have been much easier for you if I stayed with Aunt Beth right?"

Jemma was about to answer that yes, things would have been much simpler without her, that she could be spending evenings out with Fitz and getting to know her new colleagues instead of being home and making sure Amy came home safe and did her homework. She was just 21, she was supposed to focus on her career and have fun, not act like a mother when she wasn’t even sure she wanted kids for herself someday. 

But then, she realized how awful that sounded and how Amy was just as helpless as she was in this situation. Sisters had a way of being able to know exactly what to say to hurt the other the most and Jemma didn’t want to go there, not when they were finally so close after having such a complicated relationship for years and especially not now that they only had each other … and Fitz. And suddenly she wasn’t so angry anymore, just a bit sad and tired and guilty. 

"No … of course no Amy …" Jemma let out with a sigh as she plopped down on the couch next to her sister. "It’s just … it’s more complicated than I thought it would be and I’m kind of tired I guess …"

"Yeah I know …" Amy answered, bumping her shoulder in what Jemma knew was an offer of peace.

"And I don’t want to have to deal with Misses Jamison, she was so annoying the last time we talked …" Jemma let out with another loud sigh and Amy gasped in fake shock. 

"What? Saint Jemma trash talking about someone? I can’t believe it!" She cried out and Jemma gave her another much less softer bump in the shoulder.

"Urgh I hate it when you call me that!" She cried out and Amy snickered. "And I wasn’t trash talking, I’m just saying she was kind of dull and really I just have better things to do …" 

"Well if you let him talk instead of getting all crazy, you would know that Fitz already dealt with her …" 

"Oh …"

"Yeah … He said you and him could make a little speech or a workshop of some kind for the students interested in science and I could help organizing it as a punishment instead of being expelled or doing detention." 

"Oh … that’s actually a really good idea …" Jemma let out, feeling terribly guilty for getting so angry before they even had the time to tell her everything was already fixed. 

"Yeah you’re not the only genius living in this house you know!" Amy teased, making Jemma roll her eyes once more. She did that so often since Amy came to live with her that she was afraid she would really get stuck someday. 

"And what did she say about it?"

"She loved the idea actually … I think it helped that Fitz was the one suggesting it though …"

"Uh?" 

"I think she liked him. Like you know really LIKED him. She was all oh, you have such an impressive resume and oh it’s so nice of you to do what you do for your friend, you must have so little time for anything else in your life and oh that accent is soooo charming and why don’t you come to my house tonight so we can talk some more …" Amy let out in an actually quite accurate impression of Miss Jamison and Jemma arched an eyebrow. "Okay I might have invented that last one but still …" Jemma couldn’t help laughing even she was strangely annoyed by what Amy was telling her. 

"Urgh but she’s old enough to be his mum …"

"I know …" Amy replied looking just as disgusted. "It was so embarrassing to watch but it didn’t seem to bother her and I don’t think he even noticed anyway!" She added and Jemma couldn’t help giggling. 

"Yeah sounds like Fitz, he could never … oh no poor Fitz …" Jemma interrupted herself when she remembered how unfair she’d been with him when he’d been so extraordinary once more. "I messed up really bad with haven’t I?" She asked, taking her head in her hands.

"I’m afraid so …" Amy said as she stood up and grabbed Jemma’s hand to make her stand up as well. "And to add to Fitz’s general awesomeness …" She added as she guided Jemma to her room. "Look what he did for Dobby!" She finished gesturing towards what was apparently a makeshift terrarium made from the small fish tank they still hadn’t had the time to install and what looked like plants and cobblestones from the park on the other side of the street. 

"You know we can’t keep it right?" Jemma said, arching an eyebrow but incapable of keeping the small smile that was tugging at her lips when she thought of how much time Fitz must have spent on this.

"I know … Fitz said the same anyway when I said we’d have to feed him insects!" Amy answered rolling her eyes and Jemma chuckled. Now that also sounded like Fitz. 

"Dobby though?" 

"Yeah, that’s his idea you’ll have to ask him!" Amy answered, shrugging her shoulders. 

"Yes if I can find him …"

-0-0-0-

Fortunately, Fitz was where Jemma thought to look first. As mad as he had been, he probably didn’t feel like going very far and since he was on his laptop, she supposed that he had to finish what he was working on at Sci-Ops before he was interrupted.

As always, the small coffee shop where they often bought breakfast on the mornings where they didn’t have the time to cook at home, was really quiet. Fitz seemed really focused on what he was doing and for a moment Jemma asked herself if maybe she should just leave him be and wait for him to come home so they could talk and she could apologize for snapping at him. But before she had the time to make a decision, he lifted his head and their eyes locked on each other’s. 

After a moment of looking at each other from across the coffee shop, Fitz closed his laptop and tilted his head in invitation. Releasing the breath she didn’t realize she was holding, she walked the few meters separating them and chose to sit next to him in his booth instead of facing him. 

"Fitz I’m so sorry!" She started immediately without leaving him the chance to talk and took his hand since she knew it always gave her courage and a sense of security. "This situation … it’s all more complicated and overwhelming than I thought it would be. I’m … mad at my parents for dying and leaving me to deal with all that! I know it’s an awful thing to say and it’s irrational but I didn’t even have time to properly grieve because there was so much to do. Why didn’t they die much older like they were supposed to?" She let out, trying her best not to let her voice break and he brought his second hand on top of hers and his silent encouragement was all she needed to keep going. It was such a relief letting Fitz know of these festering thoughts she'd tried to store in the back of her mind for months. If the sweetest, more generous person she knew didn't think she was a monter after that, then she was probably okay.

"And I’m jealous of Amy because she’s younger and she doesn’t have to deal with all this bureaucratic crap and sometimes I’m so frustrated but I-I … I cannot take it out on her so I lashed out at you and that was completely unfair because you’ve been nothing less than extraordinary this whole time Fitz and I’m so so sorry …" She trailed off and he gave her a smile that was so soft and tender that she felt like she could cry. 

"It’s alright Jem" He said, giving her hand a small squeeze. "You’re always so in control and contained all the time, you’re allowed a little crazy time once in a while, makes you more human ... and you can always count on me to help when it happens!" He finished with a small grin tugging at his lips. 

"So … you’re not leaving?" She asked, her voice small and uncertain. 

"What? What do you mean … Oh! So when I said I was leaving you thought I said leaving like … for good?" He answered, his eyebrows up to his hairline.

"No … I don’t know I just … I wasn’t thinking straight and I … I just can’t lose you too Fitz but if this is all too much I’d understand …"

"Jemma no!" He cut her off with an intensity that surprised her. "I’m not going anywhere, I just needed an hour or two to vent. I’m not gonna leave you over something so ridiculous. You’ll always have me Jemma, whatever happens …" 

He’d turned around a bit in the booth to face her more fully and only now she was realizing how close to each other they were. She had promised herself not to cry, she did enough of that in the past months and she didn’t want to cause a scene here. But when Fitz was looking at her with such unbridled affection and sincerity and saying such beautiful things, there wasn’t much she could do to stop her lips from quivering and the tears from falling.

"C’mere …" He said softly, immediately surging forward and enveloping her in a tight hug. Her arms went automatically around his waist and she nestled her head in the crook of his neck.

"Oh Fitz …" She sighed as she was already starting to relax thanks to the soothing feeling of the impossible warmth of his hands permeating even through her blouse. 

"Jemma?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Mmhmm"

"Do you want cake?" He said in his most innocent voice and she burst out laughing through the last of her tears. "What? I’m serious!" He cried out, sounding a little offended. 

"I know …" She answered with a big smile as she reluctantly moved away from him. "You really think cake can make anything better, don’t you?" 

"Well you’re laughing and smiling now so it does work!" He grinned. 

"No Fitz … you’re the one who makes things better." She said before pressing a kiss to his cheek and he gave her shoulder an awkward little squeeze.

"You know for what it’s worth, it’s only been three months and all things considered I think you’re doing pretty good. Things couldn’t be better at work, Amy’s got good grades but she’s a teenager, she’s bound to be a little rebellious at some point ... and you even managed to make our flat look like something out of a magazine! I just think you need a break every once in a while …" He said softly. It was true that things had been doing well until now, they were both being praised at work and several of their colleagues joked about the fact that they would probably become co-directors of Sci-Ops before they turn thirty and Amy was fitting pretty well in high school. She already had more friends than Jemma ever had in all her time there, however short it was. 

"Yeah … I guess I should stop wanting everything to be perfect …" 

"Yes! And if that helps, next time I’ll take your side even if it goes against what I …"

"No Fitz!" She cut him off. "It annoys me to admit it but Amy was right when she reminded me that our parents always taught us to stand for what we believe in and so … she was probably right to do so and so did you! You have strong moral principles and I love you for it!" She finished and it’s only when he started blushing that she realized what she just said. Of course they were best friends and it’s always been implied that they loved each other deeply but now that she thought of it, they probably never said it out loud. She was starting to wonder if she should say something else to defuse the slight tension there but then he gave her a wide, if slightly bashful smile and she decided it was perfect that way. 

-0-0-0-

"I can’t believe you called him Dobby just to try and influence me!" Jemma said, looking both at Fitz and Amy in the rear view mirror and they both snickered. 

"it’s not JUST for that!" Fitz answered. "Amy freed him and you have to admit he kinda looks like Dobby!"

"It’s green!"

"Well apart from that obviously!"

"And why do you even call him he, how do you know it’s male?" Jemma added with a smirk. 

"We don’t, he just looked like it!" Amy answered matter of factly. "We weren’t gonna go and check that, he’d suffered enough, he deserved to have a little privacy … honestly Jemma!" She added, sounding a little offended and Fitz nodded eagerly. 

Jemma rolled her eyes at that but she was actually really glad that Fitz and Amy got along so well. They were the two most important persons in her life now and it made her life so much simpler and easier, even if their tendency to gang up on her was quite annoying.

"And I can’t believe you’re going to make me spend my Saturday afternoon freeing a bloody frog!" She added for good mesure. 

"Well we couldn’t just free her anywhere could we?" Fitz answered. "And it’ll be nice to spend some time outside the city as well, you're the one who said the place looked lovely!"

And it was. After finding a pond that seemed like the perfect place to release Dobby, they took the small frog out of the little box Fitz and Amy had crafted for its transport and put it on the grass just next to it. After a moment’s hesitation, the poor animal that probably never knew the feeling of grass or what fresh air felt like, let instinct take over and hopped its way towards the water without a look back. Jemma was pretty sure she saw both Amy and Fitz’s eyes get shiny but she didn’t say a thing. It was just too adorable that they could both get attached so quickly. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent having a picnic under the trees, reading, walking and lying down on the grass having endless conversations Amy didn’t even pretend to understand. When they came home after spending hours under the late autumn sun, the three of them had a smatter of freckles across their cheeks and nose and Jemma took a picture that would remind her, years later, as one of her favorite moment with her new family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some research to try and find if dissecting live frogs was still something that was done in high school in the US. (it's not the case where I live) It was hard to find a clear answer but I found a few blogs that said it was even though it became quite rare. So at worst, for the sake of the story, you can imagine it's set a few years earlier when it was still a thing for sure !


	6. Chapter 6

"Who was that?" Fitz asked from where he was leaning against the door of their shared lab and snorted childishly when he saw that he startled her. 

"Hmm?" She answered, turning around and looking weirdly flustered. 

"The big hog faced guy who just left, don’t think I’ve seen him around before …" He said as he let himself fall on his chair and slide away towards his desk and she rolled her eyes. He knew she always chastised him for acting so childishly in the lab all while secretly wishing she could do the same. 

"He doesn’t have a …" She started before stopping when she saw his teasing grin. "That’s Daniel, the consultant from Nasa I was working with on that anti-parasitic substance …"

"You know I still think it’s terrifying that you’re working on killing parasites FROM SPACE …" He shuddered.

"I told you they’re not parasites from space, it’s just …"

"Anyway I thought you’d finished working on this …" He cut her off. "You’re not gonna leave me alone with the lab assistants again? I think they’re plotting to kill me since I said I could replace them all with chimpanzees …" He pouted and she chuckled. "It was a compliment Jemma! Chimpanzees are really smart AND they can hold things with both their hands AND their feet! Nathanson can barely hold things with his hands ..." He finished and she laughed some more, moving towards him to ruffle his now shorter hair affectionately like he always remembered her doing. He never understood what was this obsession with his hair the women in his life all had and he swatted his hand away in a way that made her smile even wider.

"No don’t worry, I’m back at the lab full time but hum … actually I wanted to ask you something …" She let out a little bashfully, wringing her hands nervously in her lap. 

"Sure anything for you Jem!" He let out matter of factly and her smile was at the same time fond and embarrassed and his brows furrowed in confusion. It was not like it was the first time he told her something like that. 

"Well hum … Daniel actually came to ask me out on a date …"

"Oh … Okayyyy?" Of course Hog face was interested in her. It wasn’t the first time a colleague asked Jemma out, she had a charming very friendly personnality and obviously she was beyond smart and pretty but what did it have to do with him? 

"And I wanted to ask you first to make sure …"

"What? ask me out?" He cut her off.

"No Fitz! Ask you if you didn’t mind me going …" She said with a slightly sheepish smile and he still didn’t understand. Did she think HE wanted to go out with her? No that didn’t make any sense! 

"Of course I don’t … Why wouldn’t I want you going?" He asked. Well that was a lie of course he did mind. Maybe it was terribly selfish of him but he hated it when she had a boyfriend because they were never good enough for her but it always took her more time than him to realize it and in the meantime, there was less Jemma time for him. Not to mention that he looked way older than she was and he never liked the way lecherous older men looked at Jemma even when she was sixteen.

"It’s just … since we moved in together, you’ve been so great, helping me everyday with Amy and everything, you haven’t been going out or seen or met other people and I feel … guilty going out while you don’t …" Jemma answered and Fitz couldn’t help chuckling, partly from the ridiculousness of her statement and partly to hide his guilt about not telling her about their neighbor. Not that there was much to tell, since that first time she gave him her number a few weeks ago, he’d only seen her two times next to the mailboxes and he still wasn’t even sure if she was flirting or not. Which was probably the reason he didn’t tell Jemma, he didn’t want to bother her with such unimportant things.

"Yeah because I used to be such a social butterfly before …" He let out with a teasing grin and she rolled her eyes in amusement. 

"Okay then … are you sure? Cause I said I had to check with you first and I’d text him to confirm or not and I can always cancel and we can order pizza and …"

"No Jemma ’s fine! We’re 21, at least one of us should have some sort of social life!" He sighed and she smiled sympathetically as she stood up to come closer to him, leaning against his desk.

"Okay then … thank you Fitz." She said, giving his arm a small squeeze before her smile turned a little mischievous. 

"Well I don’t know about a social life but you could always go and pick up Amy from school if you want a nice ego boost …"

"Urgh again with that! I told you both Principal Whatshername is not interested in me, she’s old enough to be my mum it’s disgusting … She just finds me interesting and wanted to pick my brain about something …"

"Yeah sure it was definitely your brain she was looking at …" Jemma grinned and his brows furrowed in confusion. "Anyway that’s not what I meant. Have you seen how many girls came to the second workshop we gave at the school compared to the first one?" She asked and his confusion just grew stronger. 

"Yeah well our first one was amazing, especially that part I did on the drones, prettttty proud of myself on this one!" He grinned.

"Oh sweet innocent Fitz ..." she let out, shaking her head in amusement. "WE were really good but have you seen the way those girls looked at you?" She added with an arched eyebrow. 

"Oh yeah all whispering and giggling together ... probably making fun of us nerds ... vicious little creatures fifteen years old girls, I remember them!" He said with a slightly disgusted face as a shudder literally ran through his body. To be fair he'd been twelve when he had to hang around fifteen years old girls but most of them had been just as ruthless with him as they were with each other.

"Well I remember BEING a fifteen years old girl ..." Jemma answered, poking at his chest. "And even with my superior intellect I wouldn't have been able to resist a handsome older man with a charming exotic accent!" She added, making Fitz blush slightly until a wide grin appeared on his face. 

"So handsome man with a charming exotic accent ... Is that how you see me?" He asked, arching a teasing eyebrow.

"Well ... being English, I don't exactly consider a Scottish accent to be exotic ..." She answered smiling softly down at him and his heart made a funny little flip in his chest when their eyes met and locked for a moment. Until he remembered she had a date some time soon and what his own perspectives were. 

"Well great … it’s good to know I just had to wait till I was twenty one to attract fifteen years old girl ... " He said pouting. "While you're on your date I'll go invent that time machine and tell my fifteen years old self about that, at least that should make HIM feel better!"

-0-0-0-

He was able to whip out a small essay on space-time theory and quantum physics in about an hour and still get an A yet somehow Fitz had been thinking on what to write in this text message for the better part of the afternoon and for now all he had was "Hey Linda, this is your neighbor Fitz :-)" and he wasn’t even sure about the smiley face, might make him look immature considering she was already older than he was.

He’d thought about several options to finish it: "I was wondering if you were actually flirting with me the other day and if that's so just give me a few days to decide if I want to do something about it." or "I don't know if I'm interested in you but my best friend's on a date and it bothers me so would you like to go out on a potentially very depressing kind of date with me to probably talk about the confusing images of half human half hog babies I’ve been imagining these days" but somehow he’d dismissed them all. 

Because it was true that being home while Jemma was on a date with Hogface, he realized that it bothered him more than he thought it would. Yes he thought this guy probably didn’t deserve her and yes he didn’t want this guy to take up all her time but there was something else also. The beginning had been a bit complicated but now it really felt like they were a strange little family the three of them -even though he didn’t really know what their roles were supposed to be- and he didn’t want some guy to disrupt this nice balance. It had to be that, it couldn’t be anything else.

"Fitz!" The shrill voice of Amy interrupted him in his reflections as she came into the living room from the hallway. 

Fitz quickly put his phone away, he really didn’t need her to put her nose in his very hypothetic social life. 

« Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" She asked with a suspiciously sweet tone as she flopped down beside him with her notebook and a pen and he squinted at her. 

"Depends on what you’re going to ask of me?"

"Whaaaaat?" She answered, trying to look shocked. She really wasn’t better than her sister when it came to lying. "I’m just interested in your life Fitz …"

Fitz crossed his arms over his chest and gave her his best disbelieving look. 

"BUT …" She finally said with a too soft smile after a moment, "If you happen to have a bit of free time at the moment, I would really appreciate if you could check my maths homework … it’s nothing big really, shouldn’t take more than a few minutes with your amazingly brilliant brain and I really need to ..." 

"Fine fine I’ll do it! No need to butter me up … just give me that …" He grumbled before taking the notebook she handed him. Even as basic as this, working on some maths problems should take his mind off all those things that left him too confused. 

"Thanks Fitz, you’re the best!" She chirped before planting a kiss on his cheek and standing up to go towards the kitchen. « I’ll go make us some tea" She added, giving him a more sincere smile. As much as she liked to abuse of his tendency to do pretty much anything for -apparently- both Simmons girls, he knew she actually really appreciated him for him and not only for that. 

"Yeah yeah … we’ll see if you still think that when I finally cash out on all those house chores you promised to do for me in exchange for checking your homework …" He answered, mumbling under his breath and she giggled lightly. Apparently his grumpy Scott act had already lost all impact on her … well at least it still lasted longer than it did on Jemma who’d taken on ruffling his hair and smiling fondly like he was just a hungry little puppy. Which probably didn’t help when she did in front of Amy. 

-0-0-0-

"’s almost all good! You just need to re check this last equation, you dropped a sign at some point, makes it all wrong after that." He said when she brought tea and biscuits on the coffee table a few minutes later and he couldn’t help a pleased little smile when her eyes widened at how fast he’d been. It was still nice to be reminded of his genius, even if it wasn’t exactly genius level mathematics.

Thanking him, she took the notebook back and sat down next to him on the sofa as she waited for the tea to cool down a bit. As the silence grew longer, Fitz started getting lost in his thoughts again. He’d brought tons of work to keep busy that night, not feeling like watching the documentary on the Amazon they had bookmarked for weeks and which Jemma had forgotten about when she agreed on the date. It was fine really, they could always record it and watch it later but still …

"Here … drink it before it’s cold." Amy said, giving him his cup as she apparently picked up on his distractedness.

"Thanks mini Simmons …" He answered almost automatically as he took it from her and she sighed. He’d taken on the habit of calling her that when she did something very Jemma-esque like telling him to eat his vegetables or chastise him when he left mugs of untouched cold tea all around the apartment.

"You know I’m taller than Jemma, right? So it really doesn’t make any sense to call me mini-Simmons, if anything she …" She said, crossing her arms on her chest with a slightly smug smile. 

"It’s not a matter of height, she was born first so …"

"And I will probably grow to be taller than you too …" She cut him off and he glared at her.

"Oh okay … then maybe I should call you mean-Simmons you tall freak …" He grumbled and she grinned widely. "And we’re not short, it’s other people that are too tall …"

"Sure Frodo …"

As annoyed as he tried to appear, he kind of liked this type of banter he had with Amy. He grew up an only child with no other relative leaving close by and no cousin that he knew of. And even if people used to say that Jemma and him were like twins the way they finished each other’s sentences, their connection was something different and unique he didn’t even think could exist back when he was a child and fell asleep wishing he’d have a brother or sister because they would HAVE to love him and then his life wouldn’t be quite so lonely. But with Amy, they didn’t have much in common. Without certain circumstances, they would probably never have talked to each other but now they could count on each other whatever happened all while really enjoy teasing each other and he gathered that it was the best definition of siblings relationship.

"So … Jemma’s working late tonight?" Amy asked after some time. 

"No … she’s on her date …" He mumbled back. 

"Oh riiiiight …" She let out with a small knowing smile. "Forgot it was tonight … that’s why you’re in such a bad mood …"

"What? No I don’t care ... Why would it put me in a bad mood?" He asked, wincing at how unnaturally fast the words came out of his mouth.

"Duuh … maybe ‘cause you like her?"

"Of course I like her, she’s been my best friend for five years! Good job on this one Sherlock …" He grinned.

"No you idiot, you LIKE her like her … like you wanna marry her and live with her in a cottage in Perthshire with a huge garden full of daisies and give her plenty of tiny genius babies!" She said, arching a defiant eyebrow. "Okay the Perthshire thing is Jemma’s but you’re Scottish so it still works!"

"What-what … that’s ridiculous … Jemma wants to live in Perthshire?" He asked and chastised himself for the little flutter in his chest at the idea. Perthshire really was a beautiful place and it wasn’t surprising that Jemma would want to live there. It didn’t have anything to do with him.

"Yeah … been wanting this since she was a teenager and we went on holidays there …" Amy answered, her smile now more soft than teasing. "Would make sense to live there with an actual Scot don’t you think?"

"Urgh will you stop that? I’m not-this is not why I’m … okay fine that’s why I’m in a bad mood but it’s not what you think okay?" He finally let out, putting his cup of tea away and grabbing a pillow he hugged to his chest. Amy just gave him an incredulous look. "Look, your sister has a terrible taste in men, you’ve met Milton, right? » Fitz said and she nodded reluctantly. « And this guy is going to be no better, there's something weird with him, I mean he’s too young to have this job at NASA without being a genius -which he isn’t I checked- but he’s still ten years older than Jem and it’s creeping me out … but that’s not the point, it’s not going to end well and I don’t want to see her being sad and disappointed again …"

Amy’s look was a little bit more knowing and a little bit less disbelieving. Of course she knew for a fact that all of Jemma’s boyfriends had been huge disappointments and that as smart as she was, Jemma was always the last one to notice. But if she was as stubborn as her sister, she wouldn’t let go of her theory so quickly. 

"Especially since she obviously has the perfect man for her living just two doors away from her …" She finally said after a minute of looking at him with her best enigmatic smile. 

"Arghhh" He cried out, letting his head fall into his pillow. "Isn’t it past your bedtime already?" He asked, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"It’s not even 8 pm … And I haven’t had a bedtime in years anyway!"

"Well maybe it’s time you get one, you look tired, you probably go to bed way too late!" He grinned. 

"Sure … so you and Jemma can get more alooooone time …" She answered, batting her eyebrows at him with an innocent smile. 

"Oh just shut up!" He finally sighed, throwing his pillow at her face and snorted when she completely failed to avoid it. 

"Did you really just start a pillow fight with me Fitz?" She asked, holding the pillow menacingly in one hand as she straightened up. 

"Of course no Amy, I’m an adult!"

"Oh really?"

"Hmmhmm" He said as he discreetly grabbed the small pillow behind his back. Amy would never see it coming.

-0-0-0-

Jemma came home to what looked like a battlefield after a war between two armies of five years old. The couch and armchairs had been turned around to face each other and blankets had been added to create some sort of tent on both sides. Also, it looked like all the pillows and cushions in the house, including the ones from her room, had been brought to the living room and used to fight. 

Before she had the time to decide if she was more exasperated or amused by the fact that she apparently moved in with two fifteen years old instead of one, Fitz entered the living room.

"For my defense she started it …" He let out, apparently as a way of explaining the state of their living room. "Well technically no I started it but she was being very annoying …" He added with a slightly sheepish smile as he probably heard how bad of an excuse it was. "You know she has no respect for her elders, you should talk to her about that …"

"Maybe she’d have more respect if her eldest acted like actual older people …" Jemma answered with a wide grin as she took in his appearance. He’d traded the more sober very smart looking shirts and slacks he’d been wearing since they started working at Sci-Ops for jeans and one of his old plaid shirts as well as a tie … tied around his head, karate style. 

"Yeah … but where’s the fun in that?" He grinned and she could only grab the closest cushion to throw it at his face with a giggle. 

-0-0-0-

"So where’s my sister and why I am the one helping you put our living room back together instead of her?" Jemma sighed breathlessly as she helped Fitz put the couch back to his usual place on the carpet. 

"She was tired and I didn’t feel like going to bed before you came back anyway and since I thought you’d be home later …" He said with a slightly awkward smile as he grabbed the cushions piled on the floor and started arranging them on the couch and armchairs. Yes, she supposed that coming back from a first date at 10 PM wasn’t a very good sign. But she didn’t exactly feel like talking about it for the moment so she decided to focus on the rest of his sentence. 

"You’re such a softie …" She let out with a smile that was half-teasing half-tender. 

"No I told you, it only made sense that …"

"No Fitz, you’d do anything she asks of you because you always wanted a sibling growing up, and it’s adorable but you don’t have to do so much for her to like you, and I know you would have stayed up all night to make sure I’d come home safe, you already did that at the Academy and we didn’t even technically live together …" She said and his small blush told her that he knew she was right. And she knew that as well when she was on her date with hog … Daniel. And even though she should have focused on getting to know him better, she couldn’t help wondering what Fitz was doing at the moment and she actually hoped he’d still be up when she gets home. Because even though they’d been spending pretty much every waking moment together in the last few months, she’d actually missed him that evening and that fact was a little confusing. 

"Well … yeah … I like our strange little family and … you’re my favorite person, of course I wanna make sure you got home safe!" He answered matter of factly. 

"Oh Fitz …" She sighed as she let herself fall on the couch. He was so completely adorable, how could anyone compare to that?

Recognizing her slightly defeated attitude, he didn’t say a thing and went straight to the fridge to grab two beers, opened them and came back to sit next to her. For a moment, they just drank in silence, appreciating the familiarity of just being in each other’s presence.

"So I take it the date didn’t go too well …" He let out, his tone sympathetic but she could swear there was a hint of hope in it. She knew he never liked any of the few boyfriends she’s had since they joined the Academy. And she couldn’t blame him because in the end, she’d almost always had to admit he was right from the beginning. To the point where her first criteria when deciding wether to go out with someone or not was to ask herself if Fitz would like him. 

"Urgh!" She cried out, letting her head fall on his shoulder and he immediately opened his arm for her to snuggle closer. 

"I’m sorry Jem …" He let out as he let his own head fall over the top of her head ans started rubbing soothing circles on her arm. "Is that because he really had a hog face?" He whispered in her ear and she burst out laughing. 

"Thanks for that by the way ... couldn't think of anything else all night!" She whined. She could have swatted his chest when she felt him grin but she was much too comfortable that way.

"Must have kept you occupied at least …" He let out and she could have thought he sounded a little too pleased that she had such a disappointing evening if she didn’t know he just liked having her all to his own in a way that was probably not completely healthy but really sweet. 

"You’re not even wrong …" She sighed. It’s not that her date was a complete disaster. Daniel was still attractive, even though she couldn’t completely deny the fact that he kind of had a hog face, and he was just as nice and funny in a dark way as he’d been when they worked together. But somehow chatting ten minutes every once in a while on their coffee break wasn’t the same as spending several hours together. They went through the usual topics of conversation people had during a first date and it was interesting but it just lacked passion and that "something more" that told her that being with him could be nice but would never last in the long term. Just a year ago, she would probably have given him his chance and gone on a second date but now she didn’t feel like wasting time and preferred to spend time with the really important people. 

"I don’t know why I bother spending time with other people, should have stayed here … looks like you two had way more fun than I had." She let out after a moment and he chuckled. 

"We did … but don’t tell Amy I said so!"

"Promise …" She grinned. "So who actually won?"

"Theoretically it’s not over yet. We agreed on a truce to go get something to eat and then we got lazy …"

"So food really is the solution to world peace …" She let out, her voice slightly muffled as her face was still buried in Fitz’s shoulder. 

"Always said so!" He said with a childish smile she could feel more than she saw and she felt a sudden wave of tenderness for her best friend. Maybe it was his endearing enthusiasm about the simplest things or the soft feel and nice smell of his shirt but she couldn’t help snaking her arm behind his back to hug him tighter. She thought she’d noticed he’d bulked up a bit around the chest and shoulders in the last few months but now she could definitely feel it and it was confirmed by the way the shirt he didn’t wear in months hugged his frame a bit more than it used to. She realized she shouldn’t care about such things concerning her best friend but it felt nice, confusingly so. 

"So what about the plaid shirt? Haven’t seen it in a while …" She asked with a soft voice. 

"Well I was fighting for Scotland, had to look the part … it was either that or the kilt I wore to my cousin’s wedding and I wasn’t ready to commit this much …" He answered and they both chuckled. 

"How unpatriotic of you … I did miss the plaid shirt though … I like the new super smart shirts, fits you ... but this one is just so soft and fluffy ..." She let out with a contented sigh and even though she was pretty sure he was blushing from her compliment, she still felt him tighten his hold on her in one of his bouts of possessiveness she always found quite endearing. In the corner of her mind, a little voice sounding a lot like Amy told her that best friends were not supposed to make each other feel so warm and content and a little jealous but she chose to ignore it. Fitz and her never had what people would call a normal friendship and she was perfectly happy that way! 

"Fitz?" She asked softly after a moment. 

"Yeah" He answered, his voice low, barely more than a whisper like he was afraid to break the spell. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to watch the documentary with you ... I should have rescheduled the date when I remembered it was today ..."

"No 's fine Jem it's just a documentary we can watch it any other time." He cut her off, his tone sincere but she could feel him tense a bit and knew he must have been hurt. She knew of Fitz’s abandonment issues and even though he didn’t say it, sometimes missing something as trivial as a TV program they were supposed to watch together could make him feel really bad and lose confidence in the strength of their relationship.

"No Fitz I really am, won't happen again for anyone and certainly not for Hogface ..." She said and he laughed sincerely.

"That bad?"

"No I guess not ... but when I mentioned Doctor Who, he said he could never see the appeal ..." 

"Ouch ... can't tolerate someone like that in your life!"

"Right?" She said and they both hummed in agreement. "Wanna watch the documentary now? I don’t feel like going to bed yet..." She asked as she moved away from him a bit to look into his eyes with a soft smile.

"Sure ..." He answered, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze with a matching smile that warmed her heart.

"Then let me just change into something more comfortable and I'll be right back ..." She said, reluctantly detaching herself from him. But before she stood up, she pressed a kiss to his cheek on impulse and his smile widened. 

It was just as well that it didn’t work with Daniel really. It's been months now and she didn’t feel ready to stop being so affectionate with Fitz and she didn’t think she'd be ready anytime soon. When her parents died she supposed that it would just be a temporary thing, the way they seemed to have lost all notion of personal space with each other but now it felt like it was just their new normal. And this was the one unexpected development in her life she couldn’t have been happier about. 

-0-0-0-

As soon as Jemma left the room, Fitz took out his phone and opened his messaging app. Hesitating for a second, he finally erased the message he'd started typing. His pseudo social life could wait. There would be plenty of evenings spent cuddling and talking and just being around Jemma and that was really all he needed at the moment. And as he waited for her to get changed, he hugged a pillow -one of hers- to his chest and couldn’t help smiling as he almost unconsciously stroked his cheek where she kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well obviously Daniel is totally inspired by Will but I "changed" his name so this could eventually fit in to canon (even though that’s not the plan). I said that I would stop making Will the "bad guy" but apparently I just can’t stop myself ^^ Also, Fitz’s reasons for not trusting him are obviously the things I thought weren’t consistant about the character and made me convinced that there was something wrong with him (even before he died and was infected by Hive). He looked around 35 tops when he met Jemma, which meant that he was 21 tops when he was sent to Maveth, which is really young to already be in NASA. Also who still looks this healthy after fourteen years of eating pretty much only plant porridge?   
> Anyway, sorry for the delay on this chapter and hope you enjoyed it! Hopefully the next one should be here in a week as usual.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update this story, it took me a while to get everything right but I hope you'll enjoy it and at least it's quite a long one ;)

"Leaving already?" Fitz asked as Jemma passed by him with her coat on and walking towards the door. Unless one of them had a meeting or something really urgent to finish, they always left work to go home together so she would have to be convincing for him not to suspect anything.

"Oh yeah sorry … forgot to tell you I have a doctor’s appointment … can’t miss it or I’ll have to wait for months to get a new one!" She said, wincing internally at how bad she sounded even when telling such an innocent and very believable lie. 

"Oh … are you sick?" He asked, a little worry in his voice as he finally looked up at her and took off the huge magnifying goggles he was wearing to work on small pieces of electronics. She couldn’t help smiling at the sight. She might be a scientist and a professional but she’d never stop finding those funny. 

"Oh no don’t worry, it’s just my bi-annual gynecologist appointment …" She said, vaguely remembering the actual spy classes they had at the Academy. If you want someone to drop a subject, make it too personal or embarrassing. She really wasn’t the best at lying but fortunately Fitz was so very uncomfortable when talking about any kind of bodily function that it shouldn’t be too hard. "Just a basic check-up to see if everything’s fine, if my IUD’s still in place, things like that …" She added as casually as possible and he frowned. 

"Why do you have an IUD? Are you … hum … are you seeing someone?" he replied and she didn’t know if he was more confused at the idea, embarrassed about asking about such things or maybe a bit hurt for some reason she didn’t exactly understand. To be honest, she wasn’t exactly comfortable talking about this with him either and she would have chosen another tactic if she knew it wouldn’t make him drop the subject immediately. 

"No of course no, I would have told you Fitz!" She said, rolling her eyes in a way he was quite familiar with and he gave a slightly sheepish but still confused smile. 

"Then why …"

"It is strongly advised for all female agents to use some kind of method of contraception all the time, unless when they actually want to have children of course …" She answered and he was still a bit confused. They never talked about those things in class, only with the doctors during their bi-annual check-ups and considering he’d never been in any kind of long term relationship with someone from the Academy, he never had to think about those things. "In case we get captured or need to use … "

"Oh … no … "He cut her off, finally understanding where she was going with this and looking horrified. "I never thought of that" He let out, automatically reaching for her hand and she gave him a soft reassuring smile. 

"Don’t worry Fitz, it’s mostly for women in the field, operations agents, especially those working undercover. Nothing’s going to happen to me in the lab!" She said and he seemed to relax a bit. She gave his hand a small squeeze before letting go.

"Well I have to go or I’ll be late. Don’t work too late tonight, okay, there’s still a lot to do at the flat before we leave!" She said and he sighed wistfully. 

"Yeah yeah … I should be out of here by seven or so. Do you want me to grab pizza on the way?" He asked with an hopeful smile and she chuckled. 

"Nope sorry, there’s still plenty of food in the fridge, I’d like us to finish everything we can before we leave." She replied and he sighed again. 

"Great … leftover for dinner …" He pouted and she ruffled his hair playfully. 

"Come on I’m sure we’ll manage to make something nice out of it!" She said before wrapping her scarf around her neck, taking her gloves out of her bag and making her way to the door. "I’ll see you at home!"

"See you later Jem!" He replied, threading his fingers through his hair to flatten them. Not that he really needed it. With this new haircut, they were too short to really get messy but she supposed it had become an habit of him to look offended every time she did that. 

-0-0-0-

She’d be home in twenty minutes and if Fitz really did leave work at seven, it meant she had two hours to prepare his surprise. It wasn’t much but if there was one thing she excelled at, it was preparation. She felt a little bit guilty making him worry about the whole IUD thing for nothing but hopefully, the nice evening she had in store for him would make him forget all about it. 

She'd been wanting to organize something like this for him for months already, ever since she and Amy arrived in New York and she'd seen how he took care of everything. And she thought about it again every time he did something nice, which was pretty much every day. But unfortunately, life was keeping her really busy and it's only when they started talking about Christmas and she realized they wouldn't spend it together that she took it upon her to do something before they went their separate way for the holidays. And when Amy said she'd like to spend the night at her friend Calie, Jemma saw it as a perfect opportunity to spend an evening just the two of them like they hadn't done pretty much since they moved in together. Not that she didn’t like spending time with her sister or that she wasn't really glad that the three of them get on so well together, but she’d missed having her best friend all to herself and she liked to believe he felt the same. 

-0-0-0-

An hour and a half later, Jemma was rather proud of herself. The cake was finished cooking, the lasagna was in the oven, the salad was ready and she’d managed to dress a very pretty table along with really nice decorations. The only thing she had left to do was ice the cake so that meant she even had the time to take a shower and change into something more comfortable. 

After getting out of the shower, she towel dried her hair and decided to let them finish drying naturally. It was getting really cold outside but she wouldn’t need to get out tonight and it was nicely warm inside. She also decided to reapply a bit of makeup, not that Fitz would notice anyway but she hadn’t had time to sleep much these past few weeks and her complexion was even paler than usual so she thought that a little bit of blush would definitely not be too much.

All of that was done rather quickly, which was good because she lost quite some time deciding what to wear. As she was showering she’d thought about a few nice dresses she hadn’t had the occasion to wear in quite some time. But then seing all these low cut necklines or slightly see-through materials and combined with the pretty table and nice cosy atmosphere she’d created to give a Christmasy feeling, it felt way too confusingly like a date. So after spending ten minutes in only a towel and hoping Fitz wouldn’t be early, she’d settled on a red wooly pull-over dress. It was still pretty with a nice neckline and coming a bit above the knee but it felt fluffy enough to give a Christmas vibe instead of a date vibe. She still added a pair of leggings and flat boots for good measure and went back to the kitchen to finish getting everything ready. 

-0-0-0-

Fitz’s stomach let out a big growl as he got out of the elevator. He only had a small sandwich for lunch and didn’t take the time to get his usual mid-afternoon snack because he didn’t want to get home too late so he’d be able to spend some time with Jemma before they each took their separate plane home. Since actually living together, he didn’t think they’d spent more than a few hours apart in four months and if most people would probably be glad to have a little alone time, Fitz felt like he was going to miss her during the week they’d spend apart before he came to Sheffield for New Year’s Eve. Maybe his mom was right, maybe they were a bit co-dependant but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Anyway, as much as he loved his best friend, he hoped he’d be able to change her mind. He really wasn’t in the mood for left over broccoli or whatever, more for something like pizza, beer and chocolate cake! 

As he opened the door, he was surprised to be greeted with so little light. There seemed to be only a little bit of light coming from the living room, just like when one of them came home really late and the other left only the kitchen lamp on so the other would know he/she was home but just went to bed. Even though she packed her own suitcase the previous week-end, he still thought she’d be on crazy pre-holiday mode, checking and re-checking everything and moving about the apartment like a tiny cheerful British hurricane. But maybe for once, she managed to convince herself that getting everything ready several days early meant that you could actually relax on the day before your departure. So he supposed she was probably taking a bath or having a nap. 

"Jemma?" He called out in a soft voice in case it was the latter.

"Surprise!" She cried out and Fitz let out a loud gasp of surprise as a smile started tugging at his lips. She very obviously hadn’t been napping in the past two hours. 

"Wow …" Was all he could say for a moment.

There was a wonderful smell coming from the kitchen and the table had been set like for a Christmas dinner with a red tablecloth and pretty silver stars everywhere. Only the kitchen lights were turned on and she’d set at least twenty or thirty candles all over the living room that gave out a soft golden glow to the whole room. Of course it was nothing compared to the blinding smile she was wearing on her face. The lighting gave a nice warm tone to her usually quite pasty skin and with the way she’d let her hair get all wavy, she looked younger than she had in months and like she didn’t have a worry in the world. That, even more than the rest made his heart flutter with joy. 

Until he saw the pretty colorful banner on the opposite wall that said "Happy Birthday Fitz" and his smile turned to an amused grin. 

"Jemma, i know you’ve been tired lately and really it’s the thought that counts but you know my birthday was in August right?" He asked and she rolled her eyes fondly. 

"Of course I know ... come in …" She chirped, moving from where she’d been standing in the middle of the room to grab his hand and make him actually come inside the living room and into the light. 

He let out a slightly undignified squeak when she started pulling on his scarf and opening the buttons of his coat. He supposed he'd been here in the middle of their warm living room without moving long enough for her to think he'd forgotten that was what he was supposed to do but still! Swatting her hands away to finish on his own, he was grateful for the soft lighting that would hide the blush creeping up his face after the way she enthusiastically started to divest him of his clothes.

"You've been so sweet and supportive and truly the best friend I could have hoped for these past few months and I wanted to do something nice for you ..."

"Oh Jemma you didn’t have to, I did what any good friend would have done ..." He cut her off, shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing but she bareled on. 

"No Fitz you really are exceptionnal and since we never got to properly celebrate your birthday this year I thought ..."

"Oh but Jemma we did ... we spent hours on Skype that day and you got that amazing cake delivered here and … »

"I know Fitz but we weren’t together it’s not the same …" She cut him off and he smiled softly at her.

"And I love that poster of space you got me …" He added and it was her turn to smile softly at him. 

"I know and I love that it was the first thing you installed here even before your own bed …" She answered. He’d sent her a photo of it hung on the wall the first day of moving before he even had anything else out of the boxes. She had a beautiful poster of the milky way delivered to their apartment on the day of his birthday. It was a beautiful image in itself and it made sense with their shared passion and will to discover all there was to discover about the universe but what he’d liked above everything was the note that came with it: « Love this picture of us together, thought I’d make it a poster! Even far apart, I’ll always be grateful for you being on this planet. Happy Birthday, Love, Jemma »  
It was so beautiful and funny and sweet and uncharacteristically … romantic of her that he’d been touched beyond words and actually put the card in the frame behind the poster. That way, when he looked at the picture, not only did it remind him of this love for science that they shared but also that there would always be someone thinking of him on this planet.

"Anyway … I wanted to do something nice so I thought about throwing you a very belated birthday party but then I remembered you’re not exactly fond of large groups of people …" She grinned and he chuckled, knowing perfectly well how right she was. "So …" She added, turning around and doing a wide hand gesture to point out at the table and living room in general. "I have salad, lasagnas, chocolate cake AND champagne. And if you’re still hungry after that, we’ll have pop corn, beer and enough Halloween movies to last through the night!" She finished, beaming and looking quite pleased of herself. 

"Jemma … you’re the best!" He let out in a whisper as he took the few steps separating them and engulfed her in a tight hug she was quick to reciprocate with a small fond laugh.

A few years earlier, as their first Christmas at the Academy approached, Jemma had been surprised about Fitz’s lack of enthusiasm. And after a long night spent studying and talking about a lot of more or less personal stuff, he’d realized he was finally comfortable enough with her to tell her about his alcoholic and verbally abusive father that never made Christmas a nice memory. And even after he’d left, his mom was rarely there on Christmas day because the supermarket where she worked paid double that day and they couldn’t afford saying no to more money. So to him, Christmas movies had always felt mostly like other people rubbing their happiness in his face. And since he loved Halloween so much, Jemma had decided that for their last evening together before they left for the holidays and didn’t see each other for three weeks, they could compromise. They’d have Christmas decorations for her, Halloween movies to watch for him and for the food well … Fitz was happy with any kind really! They’d spent such a nice evening that it became some kind of tradition for them. 

"That’s a really soft dress …" He let out as he held her a little tighter and buried his face in her shoulder and she chuckled. Some people might have found the way they let their hug last so long a little awkward but not them. "And you look really pretty in it, very … Christmasy …" He said and he meant it. They were such close friends that, with time, he’d managed to almost forget how distractingly pretty she was and always had been. Until she wore something so very different from her usual clothes and he was reminded of it. 

"Oh … thank you, I just wanted to …" She started but he cut her off.

"And god that smell's amazing …" He let out and as he felt her tense a bit, he realized how it might have sounded. It was one thing to make a nice compliment about her look when she’d obviously made an effort to look different but to comment on her smell, it was a bit strange, especially when they were in each other’s arms. 

"No wait, I didn’t mean you, I meant the food …" He said, untangling himself from her and seing her raised eyebrows. " … not that you don’t smell nice, you smell very … flowery, very nice … but also you know, the … food …" He finished sheepishly and she smiled fondly. Fortunately she knew him well enough to know how awkward he was feeling at the moment.

"That’s alright Fitz I get it …" She said, visibly willing to get him out of his misery. « And … thank you … I guess …" She teased and he smiled shyly. « So how about a glass of champagne?"

"Yes please!" 

-0-0-0-

"Hey hey hey are you trying to get me drunk?" Jemma protested as Fitz refilled her glass once more. 

"Oh come on Jem ... you have to have champagne with dessert ... and anyway I know you can't resist the bubbles ..." He answered with a teasing smile and a wink. And maybe she was already getting a bit drunk or maybe he was because it felt a bit flirtatious and she knew she couldn’t blame the champagne for the blush attacking her cheeks. Who knew Leo Fitz could actually be good at this?

"Fine but just one last glass, I'm feeling a bit light headed already, if I get much more I'll fall asleep twenty minutes into the first movie!" 

"Like you won't do just that even if you ..." 

"Don’t finish that sentence Leo Fitz ..." She cut him off with a frown and a scolding look and he chuckled. 

"Okay okay ...I'll leave you the benefit of the doubt I guess … » He said before lifting his glass and waiting for her to do the same. "To us!" He said with a warm smile. 

"To us" She answered as they clinked and took a few sips of their glass before putting it back on the table. Things had felt a little strange at the beginning of their meal when she realized just how much it still felt like a date even though she chose not to wear one of her date dresses. But they soon started talking about what they usually talked about, which was pretty much anything really and things went back to normal. Still, this whole setting made Fitz act a little different, almost … smooth and she found it fascinating. After five years it was still possible for her to discover new sides of his personality. And if it was really how he was on a date, she wondered why he didn’t have more. Not that she didn’t always, she knew how fantastic her best friend was but somehow she was selfish enough to be secretly glad that not everybody could see it immediately and thus leaving him so much time for her.

"So hum … are you sure Amy’s at her friend Calie’s tonight? Cause I’ve seen her text that boy and giggling like crazy the other day and …" Fitz started but Jemma cut him off with a fond smile. 

"While I think it’s absolutely adorable that you try to act like an overprotective big brother …" She started and he rolled his eyes slightly. He was still a little annoyed anytime she called something he did adorable. "It’s not going to be like that with Amy. I’m not my mom and I’ll never try to replace her for Amy and even though I’m still the one in charge, I still want her to see me as her older sister and someone she can talk to about anything, not an authority figure. So if she wants to date a boy and then someday have sex with him, we agreed that she’ll be able to talk to me about it." 

"Mmmh okay …" Fitz replied, visibly a bit embarrassed at the turn of the conversation. Poor Fitz probably wasn’t used to these kinds of conversations. He didn’t have siblings or cousins to talk about sex or relationships growing up, his father was gone before Fitz started really thinking about those things and however sweet Lorna Fitz was, she was probably a bit too traditional for Fitz to be comfortable talking to her. Jemma was actually pretty sure she was the only person he ever talked to about those things and it already took a long time for him to trust her. 

"What I mean is that I know she’s at Calie’s because if she wanted to see a boy she’d tell me … because she knows I wouldn’t forbid it. She would find a way to do it anyway. Dating and kissing and sex are really nice, it’s just … I hope she’ll talk to me when things happen in her life so I can help her and prevent her from doing the same mistakes I made …"

Once she finished talking she realized how even more embarrassed he looked now and also a little conflicted it seemed. It was probably a lot more than he expected from her when he mentioned Amy and trying to make sure she was safe. 

"And now I’ve made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry Fitz, let’s talk about something else. How do you like …" She started but he cut her off, putting his head on his hands and thus getting closer to her across the table. 

"No it’s alright Jem it’s just … it’s a very … pragmatic and healthy way of dealing with that situation, didn’t expect any less of you!" He said with a small knowing smile and she smiled back softly. "But it just makes me wish I had someone like that growing up … I mean we kind of had each other but …" 

"… we were both just as inexperienced?" She finished with a small grin. 

"Yeah …" He grinned back even though she could see it still made him a bit uncomfortable. "Still could have told you Milton was bloody useless though ..." 

"Fitz!" She cried out more as an automatic reaction than in real offense and he grinned even wider. She'd known from the beginning that Fitz didn't like him and it had annoyed her. At first she'd told herself it was because she didn’t like people criticizing her choice of boyfriends but in time she’d realized it was probably because, even though he wasn’t a very social person Fitz had always been a good judge of character and somehow she always knew he'd be proven right.

"He was ... nice but I have to admit he was really quite ... boring ..."

"Yeah, always agreeing with everything you ..."

"... Never wanting to try new things ..."

"...were saying ... Uh?" Fitz stopped, his eyes getting comically wide when he understood that her mind had strayed to a completely different territory when he mentioned Milton being useless. 

"Oh ..." He let out when he saw her small knowing smile. "I should have known this idiot couldn’t even get this RIGHT ..." He grinned.

"Oh like you would have been any better back then at eighteen?"

"What?" He cried out in outrage. "I'll have you know that I've always been very careful and thorough and ..."

"Okay okay sorry Fitz ...this conversation has officially gone too far, let's change the subject okay?" She cut him off and he nodded a bit sheepishly, probably feeling a little embarrassed because of what he was about to reveal. It was so easy to provoke him when it came to his male ego. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little curious of what he was about to say. Spending pretty every waking minute with a male best friend for five years, she’d also be lying if she said her mind had never strayed, wondering how he was like in a romantic situation. Was he as skittish as he was when faced with anything concerning bodily fluids or could he get as passionate as he was when talking about science? Fortunately, he cut her off before that train of thought went too far and she got completely distracted. 

"That cake is delicious Jem ..." He said tentatively and she smiled fondly. Food. That was a safe topic for Fitz. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah ... one of your best I think!" 

"Good then ..." She beamed. "Wanna take this to the coffee table and start movie night?" She asked and he nodded eagerly. 

"Hocus Pocus?" She asked as she stood up and took her plate to walk towards the couch. 

"Sure! You can never go wrong with this one." He replied, putting one more piece of cake on his plate and grabbing the rest of the champagne bottle on the way.

"What?" He squeaked when he noticed her raised eyebrows and she gave a little nod of the head towards the bottle he was holding. 

"We might get thirsty during the movie."

-0-0-0-

An hour and a half later, the champagne was long gone and less than a half of the cake lay on the coffee table after Jemma convinced him not to eat all that night. He reminded her that his mom would tell him again how skinny he was and it wouldn’t hurt to gain a few pounds but she insisted on the fact that he really didn’t want to get sick on too much chocolate when he had to spend ten hours between airplanes and airports and he had to admit she had a very valid point. 

Jemma had taken off her shoes and was half lying down on the couch, snuggled to his side with her head on his shoulder. He'd teased her about the fact that she was really just like a cat and only liked him for his body heat and probably being just a slightly bit tipsy, she was also getting a little childish and had just stuck her tongue out at him and snuggled even closer. 

He liked it when she was like that: happy, playful and relaxed, like she didn’t have a care in the world. With their intense rythm at work and everything she had to deal with since her parent's death, he'd been scared that she would crack at some point but she never did. She was even stronger than he thought she was but he still thought it was good for her to finally take a break.

"So what's next?" She asked as the credits rolled and she looked lazily up at him. 

"Mmmhh I don’t know. What do you want to watch?" He replied, giving her shoulder a squeeze. 

"Oh no no it's your night, you choose!" 

"Mmmhh then would you be terribly shocked if I went for Ghostbusters 2 without watching the first one?" He asked and she gasped in fake offense as she straightened up a bit. 

"Fitz! I AM shocked …" She cried out. 

"It’s just, we both prefer the second one and I’m getting a little tired and I’m not sure I’ll have the courage to watch another movie after this one so …" He replied and she pouted exaggeratedly, which was admittedly adorable.

"But it’s still early and we’re having such a good time together Fitz, you can’t go to bed so soon …"

"Oh come on Jem, I see you fighting to keep your eyes open already!" He teased as he pulled her even closer against him once more and she giggled lightly. Jemma wasn’t usually a giggler so it could only mean one thing. "And you’re getting drunk …" He added and she gasped again. 

"I’m not drunk, I’m barely tipsy and still perfectly clear headed and I can go all night if I want to!" She replied in a tone that brood no argument. 

"Fine then let’s watch this one and we’ll see if we want another one after that okay?" 

"Fine!" 

Once he stopped Hocus Pocus and started Ghostbusters 2, he sat back in the couch and Jemma settled back with her head on his shoulder. He really hoped they’d get more nights like that in the months to come because it really had been too long and he could definitely get used to 

"I’m really having a good time as well, you know." He said with a soft voice as the opening credits appeared on screen.

"Me too Fitz and I’m going to miss you over the holidays …" She sighed and he felt a little shiver go down his spine at the way she unintentionally breathed into his neck as she did so. It really had been too long since he shared anything other than a platonic intimacy with anyone and was probably getting extra sensitive.

"But it’s only going to be a week and then we’ll meet up for New Year …"

"I know!" She cried out before letting her voice go down to a softer tone. "I know, it’s just, we’re kind of a family now I thought we’d spend Christmas together this year and well …" She sighed again. 

"I know that sucks but I couldn’t leave mom alone and you couldn’t not spend Christmas with your aunt …" He said as he rubbed her arm soothingly. "But tonight has been great, we can see it as a kind of late birthday-slash-early Christmas, right?" He half whispered into her ear and she almost seemed to melt closer into his arms, fully hugging his chest now and he chuckled fondly. 

"Yes …" She breathed out.

"And thank you again for tonight, it was really delicious and really really sweet of you …" He said as he gently cupped her jaw to make her look into his eyes. The look of pure tenderness and affection in her hazel eyes sent his heart beating hard against his chest. Hopefully it wasn’t only the alcohol that made her so affectionate because it was a nice feeling and he didn’t want it to stop.

"No Fitz thank YOU for everything you did, I could never have done it without you and …"

"No really I’ve told you any good friend would have …" He started but she cut him off. 

"No Fitz! Stop cutting me off!" She chastised him with a fond smile before pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Let me tell you what an amazing friend you’ve been! You’ve been so supportive and sweet …" And then she kissed his other cheek. "and you built all our furniture …" and then his forehead and they both started giggling as he very weakly tried to push her away. "And you help Amy do her homework and build blanket forts with her …" She added, kissing the tip of his nose for good measure. "And still have time to take care of me and my crazy moods …" 

"Oh well I wouldn’t say crazy exactly …" He started and they were both fully laughing until her lips made contact with the corner of his mouth. He was about to tell her she was probably more than tipsy if her aim was getting so off but then she pulled her lips away only to press them fully and deliberately on his lips with a small gasp that sounded like she was surprising herself and he wasn’t laughing anymore. And before he really had the time to think about it, he was kissing her back and whatever trouble Bill Murray and his friends were getting themselves into, it all disappeared and all he could focus on now was the sound of his heart beating impossibly fast in his chest and the taste of his best friend’s lips. 

The kiss was as good as it was unexpected. After the initial moment of hesitation where time seemed to stand still and they remained just lips against lips, Jemma tentatively opened her mouth to actually kiss him and it was all he needed to follow her lead. He captured her lower lips between his and she let out a small sigh when he bit lightly on it. Her hands moved from his cheeks where she’d been holding on to him, to his neck, and pulling him a little closer, she tilted her head to the side. Her tongue sliding across his upper lip finally did the job of shutting off his brain completely and they deepened the kiss. As they explored each other’s mouth, his arms went around her waist to pull her flush to him and her chest against his in this moment felt like his heart would actually beat out of his chest, however physically impossible it was.

She tasted like champagne and chocolate and smelt like flowers. It felt like he was in a dream, acting out such an improbable situation and in the same time feeling like he was watching it from the outside, having no control over it. A really small voice in his head was telling him to stop, that he shouldn’t kiss his best friend but the bigger part of him was enjoying the way her tongue tangled with his and her fingers threaded through his hair too much to listen to that annoying tiny voice so he pushed it aside his kisses redoubled in passion.

-0-0-0-

It had to be the best kiss she’s had since she couldn’t even remember when. Maybe it was the tiredness or the alcohol but it felt heavenly … or properly sinful, depending on which way you wanted to see it. He was not only kissing her with his lips, he was kissing her with his whole body. His surprisingly strong arms were pulling her against his chest and his palms on her waist felt warm even through her thick wooly dress. The way he went from teasing her with the tip of his tongue to fully mapping out her mouth was driving her the very good kind of mad, making her moan into his mouth. Her hands slowly descended from his soft curls to rest on his chest and it’s only when her fingers came in contact with his heated skin that she realized she’d just popped open a button on his shirt and … OH GOD IT WAS FITZ’S SHIRT! She was kissing her best friend senseless and starting to undress him! What was she doing? 

Her brain finally regaining some kind of clarity, she finally broke the kiss with an involuntary whimper from them both and used her hold on his chest to push herself away from him. For a moment, they remained frozen, looking at each other as they panted hard to catch their breath. His blue eyes had gone almost completely dark, probably as much from arousal as well as from the low lighting of the room but she supposed hers probably looked the same. 

"Oh god Fitz … I’m so sorry! I should never have done that it’s just …"

"No Jemma don’t apologize, you didn’t force me to anything and anyway I think … "

" … so sweet and I’m gonna miss you …"

" … don’t know what this means for our relationship but …"

" … alcohol probably got me confused and this is a huge mistake …"

"I’m sorry what?" They both finally let out at the same time, looking at each other with furrowed brows. 

In post snogging haze and complete panic, Jemma was only finally realizing that Fitz was also trying to say something and gestured for him to continue.

"No it’s alright ... you go first Jemma …" He replied, moving as further away from her on the couch as he could, holding a pillow to his chest and looking suddenly extremely interested by what was happening on TV. 

"I’m sorry Fitz … I just … I think I just got carried away because we were having such a nice moment and with the champagne and the candles I don’t know … but that’s no excuse. Our friendship is everything to me and I cannot ruin this by acting so stupidly …" She said with tears pooling in her eyes. He was still looking away from her and it was hard to see his reaction in the relative darkness of the room. 

"Oh … yeah … hmmm yeah … of course you’re right. But it’s-it’s not your fault. I got … carried away as well I suppose …" He finally said, fiddling with his shirt buttons to close them again and her stupid hormone addled brain couldn’t stop herself from replaying the way his long fingers had skimmed down her back and against her sides as he’d kissed her. Still not feeling exactly in control of herself, she decided it was probably safer to look away. 

"Okay … but hum what were you saying about …"

"Our relationship? Hmmhh you know same as you … We’re friends, best friends even … can’t let that change it, obviously it was just the …"

"Alcohol and the ambiance … It didn’t mean …"

"Anything … No it didn’t mean anything …" he trailed off and they both looked at each other for a moment before seating back on the couch. For the first time in a long time, she couldn’t really read what was happening inside his head. Most likely, he wasn’t paying any more attention to the movie than she was. Her own brain was too busy trying to sort out all the mixed signals she was receiving from herself. Why did it feel so good kissing him? After knowing him for so long it should have felt like kissing a cousin or a brother but it was just the opposite of that. She knew she told him the right thing but it still didn’t stop her from wanting to kiss him again. Intellectually she knew it was probably because of the hormones and the fact that she hadn’t been with anyone in a while and maybe the champagne but the tenderness she’d always felt for him didn’t make things any easier. 

"Hmmmh … I think I should probably go to bed now …" He let out with a tentative voice and the tears started to pool in her eyes once more. 

"Oh no Fitz It's such a mess … I’m such a mess ... I wanted to do something nice for you tonight and I ruined everything and now …"

"No no Jemma it’s not like that …" he cut her off, moving to take her hand in his then visibly changing his mind and putting it back on his lap. "Like I told you I was tired to begin with and …"

"Oh Fitz please I know …"

"Okay yeah obviously I feel really awkward … we both do …" He said and one first tear fell from her eye. "But I just need a shower and a good night’s sleep and … we’ll just … forget about it." He said with a small but sincere smile.

"Really?" Her voice was small and a little hoarse and his smile turned achingly tender. 

"Yes Jemma, we’re gonna be fine."

"Okay then …" She answered as she moved to take the remote and stop the movie. "You go take your shower and I’ll finish cleaning up in here." But before she had the time to stand up, he gently cupped her jaw and used his thumb to wipe out the tears that had fallen down her cheeks without her even noticing. 

"And thank you again for tonight Jemma. I really had a great time and I swear to you that you didn’t ruin anything." He added once again and she really hoped he was right because she’d never forgive herself if she did.

-0-0-0-

The next morning, things were just as awkward as Jemma feared they would be. After a sleepless night replaying the events of the evening and trying to make sense of them, Jemma woke up feeling just as confused as she was when she went to bed. She kept telling herself the same things, that it was just a combination of the alcohol, the romantic setting, the fact that she hadn’t been with anyone in a while and yes, her obvious tenderness for her best friend. But still, she couldn’t forget how good and heated it had been and how surprisingly confident he had acted. Every time she closed her eyes or let her mind wander, it came back to that moment. And that was why, as they took their breakfast and cleaned up the apartment, they barely shared a few polite words and awkward looks. 

Fortunately, when Amy came home, she was so busy with doing her own chores and adding last minute items to her suitcase that she didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. Until, they all hoped into the cab that would drive them to the airport and she realized after ten minutes that not only she was the only one talking but she also ended up in the middle seat when she logically expected it would be Jemma there.

Turning to Jemma, she mouthed a "what’s wrong?" with her eyes moving between her and Fitz and Jemma was immensely grateful for her sister choosing to be discreet for once and not addressing the elephant in the cab out loud. 

"Later" Jemma mouthed back at her and the cab remained silent for the rest of the duration of the ride to the airport, all three of them trying to look busy on their phone. For her part, Jemma just spent half an hour rereading the same unimportant email didn’t even manage to finish typing the answer that should have taken her less than two minutes all while trying not to let her eyes fill with tears once more. She tried to tell herself that considering what had happened the previous night, things were bound to be a little awkward for a time and would get back to normal soon enough but she couldn’t help thinking that she did ruin everything, that they would never feel this comfortable with each other again, that she’d always have second thoughts before snuggling next to him from now on and that thought was threatening to suffocate her. Suddenly, she felt a hand come to rest lightly on top of hers on her lap and when she turned to look at her, Amy was giving her a gentle smile coupled with a slightly worried look. She tried her best to smile back at her and even though it probably wasn’t very convincing, her sister’s blind support made her feel a little better.

Fitz was taking a different plane to Glasgow but since they were traveling on the same company and their plane left only twenty minutes away from each other, they all went through check-in and security together, still while not saying anything except the bare minimum and sharing awkward smiles to try and reassure Amy and each other that things were alright. From the way Amy rolled her eyes and sighed a few times, she was obviously not convinced and Jemma was afraid she’d get tired of it and ask them what was happening out loud but either she understood that it wouldn’t help or for once didn’t want to witness any kind of awkward conversation because she refrained from doing so. 

-0-0-0-

"Well that’s us …" Jemma said softly as the stewardess announced that their plane was ready for the passengers to embark. 

All three of them stood up and once Amy and Jemma had their coat on, boarding card and passport ready, they all stood still for a moment until Amy probably decided that it was ridiculous and took a step to give Fitz a quick side hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

"Happy Christmas Amy and well you know … safe travels and all that …" He said, his mouth quirking up slightly and she gave him a small smile back.

"Have fun with your mum Fitz and see you for New Year’s" Amy said before moving a few feet away, probably trying to give them a little privacy. Which was a nice attention but didn’t really help because it didn’t feel any less awkward without her within hearing distance anyway.

"Well try and take some rest while you’re home Jem." He said, resting his hand lightly on her shoulder. "And I’ll see you in a week" He added before taking his hand away from her and moving back before she had the time to reciprocate the gesture. She supposed they’d have to refrain from physical contact for a time as well. It made her sad but she was the one who kissed him so unexpectedly so she had to respect his boundaries if she wanted them to get back to normal at some point, however badly it hurt.

"Yes you too Fitz … and text me to tell me when you’ve landed." She said and he nodded with a smile. 

After a moment of staring at each other, both of them knowing it wasn’t their normal way of saying goodbye, Jemma finally looked away, grabbed her carry-on luggage and started walking towards her door with Amy at her side. 

The further she walked away from Fitz, the heavier her heart seemed to weigh and soon, she felt the tears starting to pool into her eyes again. When she looked at the door and the passengers starting to embark to get into the plane, she was reminded of that time she went home during her second year at the Academy. Jemma and her mom had been fighting about something she couldn’t even remember now just before she had to take her plane back to the US and when she and her dad had accompanied her to the airport, she’d given her mother a very cold goodbye and kiss on the cheek instead of the usual group hug and teary goodbye. Of course they’d spoken on the phone a few days later and made things better but now she couldn’t help thinking that it could have been the last time she saw them. What if they had their accident on the way back from the airport and her mother died thinking her daughter was mad at her and Jemma was left with such a cold bitter last memory of her mother. 

And then, she started panicking, tears falling freely from her eyes and feeling like she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs. What if something happened to her or Fitz? They’d be left with a very sad last memory of feeling too uncomfortable with each other to even have a small hug or proper goodbye. He’d be left not knowing how much she cared for him and she’d be left knowing she was responsible for making their last moments together not as warm as they should have been. She knew it was a grim thought to have and she should probably just let it go and let time do its work but she felt so awful she thought she was going to be sick. 

"Jemma are you alright?" Amy asked, looking obviously concerned at the state of her sister. "Will you please tell me what happened with Fitz? You’re really starting to freak me out and if you don’t …" She started but Jemma cut her off. 

"I’m sorry Amy, I’ll tell you I promise, I just … please keep that for me" She said, giving Amy the handle of her suitcase and she took it automatically. "I won’t be long, it’s a huge plane and they’ve just started embarking, we have time …"

"Jemma, what are you …"

"I’ll only be a minute or two I promise I just have to … I won’t be long …" She repeated and before Amy could answer anything, she started walking as fast as she could back in the direction they’d just come from. 

Fitz was still standing up and visibly not feeling too good himself because he was looking in their direction and even from the twenty or so meters that separated them, she could see his eyes were shining from unshed tears. This time, when she was only a few feet away from him, she didn’t hesitate and flung herself at him, her arms going around his chest and she let out a sigh of joy and relief when he didn’t hesitate to put his arms around her shoulders either. 

"I’m sorry Fitz, that was an awful goodbye and I didn’t want to leave like that in case …" 

"I know I know …" He cut her off, his voice slightly muffled by the way he had his face buried in the hood of her coat. "I’m sorry too, I told you we’d be fine and we will … no more half assed goodbyes and tense silences between us okay?"

"Okay!" She replied with a tiny chuckle in the same time she sniffled before untangling herself from him. 

"And your hugs will always be welcome Jem. Whatever happens you’ll always be my best friend, yeah?"

"Yes Fitz of course …" She answered, her heart beating a little faster under his soft affectionate gaze for some reason she decided not to analyze for now. 

"Now let me just …" He started as he used both his thumbs to wipe the tears off her cheeks for the second time in less than twenty four hours. "You’re gonna look like the crazy woman you are if I don’t …" He teased and she gently swatted his hand away to do the same for the few ones he probably didn’t even realized had fallen on his cheeks. 

"All good?" She asked after passing a hand through her hair and pressing the back of her cold hands to her eyes in the hope that it would make them less puffy. 

"Always …" He answered with a soft smile and she knew it was a lie but she accepted it anyway. "Go on then or you’ll miss your plane!"

"Okay then … bye Fitz. See you in a week!" She said and ran back to where Amy was waiting for her with her suitcase and an impatient look on her face that made a small smile tug at her lips. As they embarked into their plane, she felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest but when she looked back she could see that Fitz had gotten a little closer to their door and was watching them embark. When their eyes crossed, he gave her a small wave and a wink and she could only smile and wave back. When she had to turn around for good and give the stewardess her boarding card, there was a new confusing feeling in her chest.

When they were finally inside the plane and seating relatively comfortably next to each other, Amy turned to Jemma with a knowing look. 

"So, will you tell me what the bloody hell happened with Fitz and what was that all about?" She finally asked and Jemma was quite impressed she managed to wait for so long. 

She knew she’d have to tell her and had spent a large portion of their cab drive and waiting time at the airport trying to prepare how she’d explain it to her and how she’d make her understand it was just an accident and didn’t mean anything. But right now, as images and feelings from their latest interactions of the day and events of the previous night passed through her brain, she had trouble remembering a single word of what she was supposed to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And let the pining and miscommunications begin :D But since there's only three more full length chapters and an epilogue, you can deduce it won't take them too long.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who left kuddos and commented on the previous chapter, hope you' ll enjoy this one :) We're getting close to the end with only two more chapters and a shorter epilogue!

The few weeks following their dinner and extremely confusing kiss were pretty awkward to say the least. Fitz had thought that spending Christmas week apart would help them get over it, focus on the small part of their life that didn't involve each other and start fresh on new year's eve. Problem was that during the week he always spent with his mum around Christmas, except for the few hours spent fixing every electric or electronic appliance in the house -with time, his mum learned that nothing was unfixable with a son like Leo Fitz-, Fitz didn't have much to do. Lorna Fitz always insisted that he looked too tired and too skinny -even when he'd actually gained a few pounds thanks to his training program- and he should just take this opportunity to eat more and pretty much do nothing. So it resulted in Fitz basically spending the better part of a week recreating the events of that night in his head and trying to make sense of them.

When Jemma kissed him, it had been so surprising that his mind had gone from full panic to complete awe in a matter of seconds when he realized how fantastic it felt. He'd be lying if he said he never thought about it before. After all, they met back when they were sixteen. He was terribly shy, never had a real friend or even kissed a girl on the cheek before. So when he befriended incredibly smart, sweet and pretty Jemma Simmons, his treacherous teenage hormone fueled mind had strayed towards not completely platonic thoughts a few times. But then they'd become not only friends but best friends, Jemma had started dating and he's had a few girlfriends/dalliances of his own and these thoughts became a rarity. He thought about it more as a concept, something that crossed his mind every once in a while when someone suggested they were or should be a couple but not something tangible that could actually happen. Just like when they talked about space and wondered if they'd join a mission to Mars or any other planet if they were given the opportunity. 

So when Jemma pressed her lips against his and threaded her fingers into his curls, it's been like they were suddenly given a call from NASA asking them to embark on the next shuttle to outer space. And after a few minutes of feeling her so close to him, of hearing her small pleasured noises and getting a taste of her soft lips, Fitz realized that it was not only very tangible but better than any of his teenage boy dreams or fantasies and he was ready to enroll into astronaut training if it meant getting to do that with her on a regular basis. 

But then Jemma had broken the kiss just as it seemed to turn a little more heated and it felt like receiving a bucket full of ice cold water in the face. She seemed horrified and insisted that it was a terrible mistake and even though some part of his brain somehow knew she was probably right and they couldn't risk their precious friendship and work relationship, other parts just couldn't get over how right kissing her had felt. Still, realizing that Jemma might have been a bit more drunk than she liked to admit and still confused about everything that had happened in her life in the past year, Fitz just decided to just accept her explanation and that it was all a big mistake and not evoke the possibility that maybe it meant something. 

But when they met for new year's eve and even after their tearful promise at the airport that things would be fine between them, things were still pretty awkward. They were talking to each other rather normally, which was an improvement compared to the tense silence of the morning after, but it seemed that physical contact was now a problem. Most of the time, they were just avoiding it completely, seating ridiculously far away from each other on the couch and taking extra care to not even graze each other's hand by accident. And when they forgot their self imposed restraint, like when they hugged as they wished each other a happy new year, they separated too rapidly, blushing and looking away from each other. It broke Fitz's heart a bit every time because he feared that they would never go back to that easy closeness they developed over the years and that he never shared with anyone else and in the same time, it was a painful reminder of that night and how he would never again feel something so good and pure and intense, however short it was. 

From the way Amy kept rolling her eyes at both of them every time it happened in her presence, Fitz was pretty sure Jemma told her about their kiss. So he figured he should be grateful to her for not doing more than that and thus not make things even more awkward, although, she was probably not so silent about it when it was only her and Jemma. He also supposed it helped that it wasn't just the two of them like it's been almost every year since they met but in the end, it's when they went back to work that things really got better and gradually almost back to normal. 

After almost two weeks away from SHIELD, they found themselves drowning under the amount of work they had to catch up on and when they went home late almost every night, they were too tired to overthink things like Jemma putting her head on his shoulder in the bus or Fitz giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze, knowing they always hurt when she didn't get enough sleep. His affection and tenderness for his best friend was as overwhelming as it had ever been and if he'd become much more aware of things like the sweet flowery smell of her hair or the curve of her full lips whenever she smiled at him, he supposed he could live with it. With time, it would probably fade away.

-0-0-0-

As more water fell from the only pipe he thought didn’t need changing and onto his shirt, Fitz started to regret the deal he made with their landlord. At the time, telling him that he would fix everything in the apartment by himself in exchange for a lower rent seemed like a good idea. After all, the place was quite new and he was an engineer, he liked tinkering with machines and fixing things with his bare hands. Of course, he didn’t think that, of all the things he might have to work on barely six months after their moving, the main bathroom plumbing would be the first one. Fitz didn't mind getting dirty with a bit of engine grease -not that it was the kind of machine he usually worked with- but grease mixed with water and unknown kinds of dirt was something else entirely. 

Hopefully, this pipe would be the last one he was changing and he'd be finished in time for dinner, hoping that spending almost his entire Saturday afternoon fixing the plumbing in the bathroom would convince Jemma to forget about their enforced post Christmas diet for once and let them have pizza. She'd told him she could stay and help but he insisted that it was too cramped for the two of them to be in here anyway. He'd much rather let Jemma go out with Amy and use this to get a favor from her later if she really insisted on making it up to him at some point. 

Speaking of the devil, he could hear Jemma's keys in the lock as she opened the door to their apartment.

"Fitz?" He heard her call him from the living room. He could also hear Amy chatting enthusiastically about something but was too far to understand what it was.

"Yeah. 'm almost done in here!" He cried out in response.

"D'you need help for something?" She asked, her voice getting louder and clearer as she obviously got closer to him. 

"No no I'm good. Just need to check everything one last time and clean up. Don't come in here, you'll just get as dirty as I am!"

"Oh … okay then." She answered, her voice sounding a little weird and distorted through the walls and the small cabinet he was crouching under.

Five minutes later Fitz let out a relieved sigh when he turned the water on in the bathtub and the sink and water actually came out of there and not anywhere else. Feeling quite proud of himself, he quickly gathered all his tools and put them back in their box or on his tool belt and put all the old leaky pipes into a trash bag. Then taking the mope he'd prepared before starting all this -Jemma would be proud of his preparedness for once-, he quickly wiped the floor from all residual dirt and decided to let it dry on its own. 

Seing the state of the old pair of Converse he'd been wearing all day, all wet and dirty, he took them and his socks off to bring them to his dirty laundry basket on his way to his room to take a shower in "his" bathroom and change clothes. 

As he was prepared to cajole Jemma -and Amy, the treacherous girl was always on Jemma's side when it came to healthy food- to order pizza tonight, Fitz smelt something delicious coming from the living room. 

"Oh my god, is that pizza I smell?" He cried out as he walked in the room. "I thought I'd have to whine and beg to get one tonight …" He grinned as his hopes were confirmed by the two familiar boxes resting on the kitchen table next to a pack of beer. They must really have been grateful for him fixing the plumbing.

"Oh yeah, thought you deserved a reward after working on this all day and I also have …" Jemma trailed off as she finally turned around to look at him. She and Amy had been busy unpacking whatever they'd bought that afternoon but they went suddenly quite still, quiet and a little wide eyed. 

"What?" He asked, a little taken aback by their reaction. Maybe he'd hit his forehead harder than he thought earlier and had a huge bruise on it or something, even though it was unlikely since it didn't even hurt anymore. 

But then he saw Jemma's eyes giving him a quick once over and both girls's strange expression turn into a small grin and he realized what he must look like. He wasn't exactly used to getting dirty when he worked so he didn't have any kind of overall or whatever you were supposed to wear to do that. So he'd found an old white undershirt he must have worn only a few times under the only white shirt he had and an old pair of jeans. He was surprised when he realized that both items were a bit too tight. Of course as he grew up, he was used to clothes getting too short but it was the first time he's had clothes becoming too tight. The t-shirt was stretched out around the shoulders and the jeans who used to be a little baggy now felt like they were just as adjusted as the trousers the sales lady insisted he buys when he went shopping to get more "grown up" clothes before he started at SciOps. Maybe his very modest workout training program was paying off after all. Anyway, he probably looked pretty ridiculous that way, especially to Jemma who was always so obsessed with cleanliness. He was about to mumble something about the fact that it was to fix their bathroom that he looked like that when Jemma finally spoke.

"Nothing it's just the … the-the beard!" She cried out a little too enthusiastically, like she'd found a really good word at scrabble. "Yeah it's the beard, not used to seeing you unshaven for so long ..." She added with a strange kind of smile. 

"Oh yeah, too much work these days … didn't have time to shave since Wednesday! Thought it was alright to wait a little longer since I wasn't going to go out today anyway but …"

"Oh no it's alright!" She cut him off. "It's just different … not bad different I mean, just …kind of … suits you actually …" 

Obviously, things were still a little awkward every once in a while. Usually, she would not have hesitated to make fun of him for how he looked but now she was a bit too careful not to hurt his feelings and he wondered if she'd noticed how he was sometimes looking at her with a not completely friendly platonic eye. Maybe she was feeling guilty for awakening "something" in him. This was a very Jemma thing to do, of course she was the one who initiated that kiss but it didn't take long for him to reciprocate and they promised each other they'd get past it and she couldn't be held responsible for his treacherous brain working that way. 

"Oh no Jemma you don't have to say …" He started but he was cut off by a smirking, eye-rolling Amy. Sometimes he really felt like he was faced with a younger and more annoying version of his best friend. 

"Also is everything going well at work Fitz?" She asked and he gave her a confused look. 

"What? hum yeah of course, just quite busy is all. Why do you …"

"No 'cause since you've obviously just got home from your Village People audition, I thought maybe you were thinking of changing career …" She let out and both sisters burst out laughing. 

"Ah ah. That's really funny Amy! Can't believe I spent all afternoon fixing YOUR bathroom …" He mumbled as he started walking towards his room. He had admit the tool belt maybe was a bit much but it really was practical. 

"Awww Fitz! I'm kidding!" She let out in a still teasing but softer tone. "I'm really grateful for that. I'd hug you but you're kinda gross right now!" 

"YOU'RE gross!" He grumbled almost automatically and he could see Jemma rolling her eyes with a small smile. He, on the other hand, felt pretty proud of himself for mastering this classic sibling retort. "And I don't want your hugs anyway!" He added childishly, which made Amy giggle even louder. 

"No but Fitz really thanks so much for fixing our bathroom." Jemma intervened. "I mean, we brought pizza to show our eternal gratitude …" She said, pointing towards the two cardboard boxes on the table with a wide smile and he couldn't help reciprocating it. 

"Fine I guess I'll have to accept your offering!" He grinned and she grinned back as they both apparently decided to ignore Amy saying how big of a nerd they both were. "But hum … I'd like to clean up a bit before eating, think it'll still be hot enough after I get out of the shower and change clothes?" He asked and Jemma seemed at a loss for words once more. If she hadn't been out with her fifteen years old sister, he'd say she's already had a drink or five. It was the only situation he ever knew Jemma to have trouble finding the simplest of words. 

"Oh surely it won't be quite as hot but I'm sure Jemma will manage something …" Amy answered in her stead and Jemma just nodded with a strange sort of smile. 

"Okayyy …" Fitz replied. "I'll get to it then … won't be long!" Then he walked to his bedroom to get rid of his dirty shoes and tool belt, grab some clean clothes and got out again to go to his bathroom. He could still hear them whisper and giggle after he was gone and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious about what they were saying, but sometimes he also wished he had more real male friends in which he could confide things he could't tell Jemma. 

-0-0-0-

Fifteen minutes earlier.

"So you're sure it's not weird that I bought him a t-shirt? Maybe I should wait for his birthday to give him …" Jemma asked one more time as they were entering the building. 

"Sure you should wait nine months to give him a bloody t-shirt you paid twenty dollars for …" Amy replied, rolling her eyes. 

"No right … you're probably right it's just …"

"Listen, you buy him things all the time, he spent all his afternoon fixing the plumbing for us knowing how much you would have hated doing it, so pizza and a t-shirt doesn't seem exaggerated as a thank you gift and I mean it's a fun t-shirt not … I don't know … underwear or something!" Amy finished a bit lamely but Jemma knew she had a point. Things seemed to have finally gotten back to normal so it should be alright to bring him back something from an afternoon spent shopping as she did countless times. The thing was just that the last time she did something to thank him for something nice he did, she ended up snogging him quite heatedly in their living room.

And as much as they both worked to make things between them get back to normal, she couldn't quite forget that kiss. Couldn't forget the taste of his lips and the fire it had ignited inside her. But she supposed that having pizza with him all gross and sweaty after he'd spent all afternoon under the sink and with Amy as a witness wasn't exactly a recipe for the kind of romantic setting that led them to fall into each other's arms. 

"Or …" Amy let out loud enough to distract Jemma out of her musings. "… maybe it's just that you WANT buying gifts for Fitz to mean something else because you want things to be …"

"Oh not that again!" Jemma huffed in exasperation. "Sometimes I really regret telling you …"

"Yeah like you could have with the way you two were acting. I can't believe you work for a spy agency!" Amy snorted as they got out of the elevator.

"Yes as scientists! Anyway, didn't think straight, drunken mistake, didn't mean a thing, Fitz's my best friend in the world so just stop talking about it now, I don't want him to hear us!" Jemma hissed as they stopped in front of their apartment. 

"Well being best friends doesn't mean you can't be more …" Amy started before Jemma cut her off with a glare as they came in the apartment.

"Fitz?" She cried out to make sure he was actually there.

"Yeah. 'm almost done in here!" He replied, his voice muffled and hard to hear because of the walls separating them, so she took a few steps into the hallway until she could peak through the bathroom's open door. It was surprisingly not too messy considering he'd been at it all day. Her lips ticked up at the corners when she noticed he was wearing the same Converse he was wearing on the day they spoke to each other for the first time. She'd noticed them because after crashing into him as she was running to get to class on time, she'd immediately went to her knees to gather everything that had fallen from both their arms. And before he joined her on the floor to help her, she'd noticed he was wearing red Converse just like the doctor. He didn't wear them much now, but she liked that he kept them considering they were the first thing that got them to speak and overcome their shyness and realize how much they had in common.

"D'you need help for something?" She asked even though she knew perfectly well he'd dismiss her since he was almost finished anyway.

"No no I'm good. Just need to check everything one last time and clean up. Don't come in here, you'll just get as dirty as I am!" Maybe it was from talking through the cabinet under the sink but his voice sounded lower than usual, just like it did after they broke away from that kiss and it sent a small shiver down her spine. Of course it didn't help that he mentioned getting dirty which reminded her of what he'd told her in that ridiculous dream she's had a few days after Christmas and that made her wake up all flushed and sweaty. But she hadn't been with anyone in a long time and it was just her treacherous brain mixing everything in her dreams and painfully reminding her that she was the one responsible for the awkwardness between them. 

"Oh … okay then." She answered, trying to sound as natural as possible as she went back to the living room to take off her coat and start unpacking everything she and Amy bought.

Seeing the number of bags and everything she bought for herself but also Amy, Fitz and their apartment, she realized she must have been compensating for everything she did not buy for her parents. It's been more than seven months now and even though she felt like things were getting better and she was starting to accept the fact that they wouldn't be in her life anymore, Christmas was a tough period. Her parents' house was always so happy and bursting with life, with so many of their relatives staying there for a least a few days that it was hard to see it so calm and empty. Amy and their aunt and a few of their closest cousins and aunts and uncles tried do their best to make this Christmas a nice moment but it really wasn't the same. And when she would have normally talked to Fitz on the phone or skype for several hours every day, they only talked a few times and not for long. Fitz being who he was, he still did his best to make sure she was alright and let her know he wasn't angry and was still his best friend but things were strange nonetheless and conversations were cut short. 

And now that things were finally getting back to normal, that they were able to stay up late to have lengthy conversations or just watch a show with her head on his shoulder without feeling weird about it, she couldn't let all these confusing thoughts make things weird between them again. She needed her best friend in her life way too much for that and he shouldn't have to suffer for her messed up brain and feelings anyway.

-0-0-0-

"Oh my god, is that pizza I smell?" Jemma heard him cry out from the hallway and she couldn't help grinning at the childish enthusiasm in his voice. Trust Fitz to smell pizza from a mile away. "I thought I'd have to whine and beg to get one tonight …" He added and that was one of the reasons she got one anyway, she knew he would beg and she knew he'd manage to be equally annoying and completely adorable and she didn't need that now. Also, she supposed that after the day he had, he deserved it. And honestly the whole diet thing was mostly so he wouldn't tempt her. Fitz still had that annoying teenage boy metabolism where it seemed like he could eat anything without gaining a single pound.

"Oh yeah, thought you deserved a reward after working on this all day and I also have …" Jemma started as she quickly put away her bag full of new underwear she really didn't need Fitz to see and went for the one which contained the t-shirt she bought him. But as she turned around to face him, it was like she lost the end of her sentence and had to make a conscious effort not to let her jaw drop.

"What?" He asked, his face a perfect mask of innocence and confusion. Jemma risked a glance towards her sister and saw the small smile tugging at her lips as well as the way she was unconsciously biting her lower lip. At least, she wasn't the only one seing it.

In all the years they'd known each other and all the times he helped her fix things in her Academy dorm room and bathroom, he had to choose this day to look so kind of ridiculous but confusingly sexy! She remembered making him buy that white undershirt, insisting that he couldn't go to a formal event looking all smart with his nipples showing through his white shirt. But she didn't remember it being so snug around those well formed shoulders she didn't remember seeing on him before either. And she was completely positive that his old jeans used to be a lot baggier, especially around some certains parts of his anatomy, some nice round and perky parts. 

"Nothing it's just the … the-the beard!" She finally let out, realizing she must have spent way too much time ogling her best friend already. "Yeah it's the beard, not used to seeing you unshaven for so long ..." She added. 

"Oh yeah, too much work these days … didn't have time to shave since Wednesday! Thought it was alright to wait a little longer since I wasn't going to go out today anyway but …"

"Oh no it's alright!" She cut him off. "It's just different … not bad different I mean, just …kind of … suits you actually …" Jemma had always loved a nice clean look on a man so how come this unshaven, dirty wet and grease stained look worked so ridiculously well on him? Maybe because on his angelic face and lean frame, it added just the right amount of raw manliness.  
God … well done Jemma, she thought to herself, you managed to hold on to your resolution of not thinking about your best friend that way for a whole five minutes. 

"Oh no Jemma you don't have to say …" He started, visibly on the impression that she was trying to be nice when honestly she would have liked nothing better than thinking he looked like a caveman and make fun of him for it, like she would have done only a month ago.

"Also is everything going well at work Fitz?" Amy asked before he had the time to finish his sentence or she had the time to insist that she did find him attractive like this and make him uncomfortable.

"What? hum yeah of course, just quite busy is all. Why do you …" He answered a bit confused. Of course he didn't know Amy like she did and didn't anticipate where she was going with that.

"No 'cause since you've obviously just got home from your Village People audition, I thought maybe you were thinking of changing career …" She let out and Jemma couldn't help laughing with her sister. She felt a little bad ganging up on him with Amy but she was kind of grateful for her sister stopping her from potentially embarrassing herself. And she had to admit the tool belt was a bit much ...

"Ah ah. That's really funny Amy! Can't believe I spent all afternoon fixing YOUR bathroom …" He grumbled in typical Fitz fashion as he opened the tool belt to rid himself of it, catching his t-shirt in the process and letting a bit of his stomach and faint abdominal muscles showing … god why did she blush over just a bit of pale skin? Was she sixteen again?

"Awww Fitz! I'm kidding!" Amy teased gently. "I'm really grateful for that. I'd hug you but you're kinda gross right now!" 

"YOU'RE gross!" He teased back and Jemma rolled her eyes fondly at how quickly he picked up on classic siblings retort. "And I don't want your hugs anyway!" Although a real big brother would have taken this opportunity to hug her close and transfer all the dirt from his clothes to her pretty clean ones.

"No but Fitz really thanks so much for fixing our bathroom." Jemma insisted. "I mean, we brought pizza to show our eternal gratitude …" She added, deciding to keep the t-shirt for later that evening in case he'd get the crazy idea of taking off his shirt entirely to try out the new one immediately, however unlikely it was considering how insecure he's always been about his body.

"Fine I guess I'll have to accept your offering!" He said and they grinned at each other as Amy mumbled something Jemma didn't quite catch. "But hum … I'd like to clean up a bit before eating, think it'll still be hot enough after I get out of the shower and change clothes?" He asked and her mind blanked for a moment. Considering he clearly didn't realize the effect he was having on her, he probably didn't realize either how that sentence could have sounded to her ears. 

"Oh surely it won't be quite as hot but I'm sure Jemma will manage something …" Amy answered for her and Jemma had to stop herself from swatting her arm. Fortunately, Fitz sounded like he was miles away from understanding what was happening inside the two girls' heads and she wasn't going to give him clues. So she just smiled and nodded.

"Okayyy …" Fitz replied. "I'll get to it then … won't be long!" 

-0-0-0-

"Urgh Amy!" Jemma hissed at her sister while throwing one of the couch cushions at her face, which only made the younger girl giggle. 

"So …" The younger girl started as she plopped down on the couch, her grin as wide as it could get without splitting her face in two. "How does it go again? It was just a moment of weakness, I was a bit tipsy, havent't kissed someone in a long time and he was being so sweet … that kiss was a mistake and Fitz is just my best friend and nothing more?" 

"Well yeah …" Jemma answered, voluntarily ignoring the implicit suggestion that maybe what just happened suggested otherwise. "And please keep your voice down, I don't want him hearing your ridiculous theories." She added in a whisper. It's been a relief to have someone to talk about what happened with Fitz and she'd been quite surprised when her reaction didn't simply consist in different variations of "I told you so" and "I knew it". Instead, she did her best to reassure her and tell her that whatever happened she'd never loose Fitz. But when she saw them interact on new year's eve and the days following, she couldn't refrain from giving Jemma meaningful glances and quiet remarks and she started regretting telling her in the first place. 

"Oh please Jemma, you were practically drooling over him, it was embarrassing … and don't think I didn't notice how much he looked like the covers of those books hidden under your bed that you were keeping for a friend …" Amy teased and Jemma rolled her eyes. 

"Oh please I was only fifteen, haven't read those in years …"

"Doesn't mean the look doesn't still work for you!"

"Urgh …" Jemma cried out as she plopped down next to her sister in defeat. "Fine I find Fitz attractive, always thought he was anyway, doesn't change anything! This look just tends to … highlight his best features."

"Except when you start snogging him first occasion you get …"

"I don't … it only happened once!"

"… and you never told me if you liked it by the way …" Amy said, giving her sister a pointed look that turned into a wide grin when Jemma only blushed and looked down to her lap where she was picking invisible lints from her jeans. Obviously it would have been much simpler if the kiss had been bad.

"So he's like your favorite person in the world, you're practically raising a child together …"

"I thought you weren't a child anymore!" Jemma cut her off, quite conscious that her attempt at changing the subject wouldn't work. Amy wasn't her sister for nothing and she wouldn't let go so easily.

"Oh now you remember it! Anyway … favorite person, raising a child together, you're obviously attracted to him, you act and live like an old married couple and now you know for a fact that you like kissing him … but sure it was just a mistake that didn't mean anything …" Amy trailed off, feeling like she made her point and Jemma supposed she did. 

She should have insisted once more that because all those things were true didn't mean they should be together except that for the moment, she couldn't come up with a single argument to convince even herself. So letting out a big sigh, she stood up from the couch. 

"I'm gonna put the stuff I bought in the wash so I can wear some of those on Monday … wanna give me yours too?" She asked with a weary smile, hoping Amy would pick up on the fact that she probably won the argument but Jemma wasn't ready to admit anything out loud just yet. 

"Sure … thanks Jem!" She said with a soft and less teasing smile. "And I'll put the pizzas in the oven until everyone's ready to eat." She added as she gave Jemma her two bags full of clothes and made her way to the kitchen. 

"Yeah good idea … Thank you Amy" Jemma answered, hoping she'd understand all the reasons she really was thanking her for.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one big chapter and the epilogue left ! Maybe I'll manage to finish this before the start of season five after all, yay!! :D  
> Also, I finally managed to make myself an avatar and I loved doing it so I think I might start making images to go with my stories from now on :)

As Jemma ran down the hallway to catch the elevator, most people moved aside with a slightly frightened expression on their faces, like she was some sort of crazy woman. And as she kept her eyes fixed on the small screen displaying the floor numbers, she could see them stealing glances in the corner of her field of vision. Honestly, it was like they've never seen someone in a hurry. Granted, SciTech wasn't really the place where most of the action happened but they did important and sometimes urgent work that had people moving a bit fast once in a while. And anyway, when Fitz was concerned, she couldn't care less what people thought of her panting as she ran through the halls.

Fortunately, when she got out of the elevator, the hallway was mostly empty and she was free to keep running as fast as she pleased. As she got closer to the infirmary though, (which honestly was more of a small private hospital, one of the perks of working for the top scientific branch of a secret agency) she tried to slow down and catch her breath for a few seconds before entering.

She went straight to what looked like the admission desk and didn't give the man there time to ask her for what she wanted.

"I'm here to see Dr Leo Fitz, I got a call but no one would tell me what was wrong …" She started, her voice high pitched and clearly laced with worry but corrected herself when she saw the slightly confused look on the nurse's face. "He's a patient here, not a doctor … well he is a doctor but not a medical doctor, a doctor in engineering. Anyway someone told me to come see him but they didn't tell me why and now I'm starting to worry because he's not answering his phone and …"

"Jemma?" She heard in the distinctive voice and Scottish accent of her best friend and relief washed over her. Whatever happened, at least he was conscious and strong enough to shout and even sound a little grumpy. 

"Never mind …" She told the man, who hadn't even had the time to move or look through a file of some sort to find Fitz, and started walking towards the vague direction she thought the voice was coming from.

Fortunately, he was easy enough to find. After all, even if it was also used to bring in employees from The Hub or SciOps as well if need be, this place wasn't close to being as busy as a real hospital and she found Fitz sitting sideways on an hospital bed, the privacy curtains pulled back since he was alone in the room anyway. 

As she got closer though, Jemma began to worry once more, his left hand was bandaged and he did look awfully pale. Well paler than usual.

"Fitz!" She cried out as she immediately grabbed his bandaged hand even though there really was no way to see what happened through the bandages. "What happened? They asked me to come for you but it was like no one knew why you here and I-I …" She started, the words flowing much too fast from her lips again as adrenaline pumped through her veins. 

"Jemma stop!" He cut her off a little loud but with a soft smile and delicate hand on her shoulder. "It's nothing, if anything it's embarrassing really, I told them they didn't need to call you, that you had better things to do today but you know SHIELD and their ridiculous protocols sometimes and …"

"No Fitz, you'll always come first it's just …"

"wouldn't let me leave this place on my own …"

"… stuck in a meeting, I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner and you had …"

"Jemma!" He finally cut her off once more as he took her hands in his this time and slightly pulled her to him. The gesture was in the same time tender and kind of intimate enough to stop her from speaking as a slight blush attacked her neck. He probably didn't realize it either because when he noticed how she's had to come and stand between his legs to keep her balance, he let go of her hands and moved backwards a bit. 

"Sorry …" She let out a little sheepishly. "So hum … what happened?"

"This beaker broke in my hand, almost exploded on its own really and it cut my hand. Nothing bad, just a few cuts but some a bit deeper than others and you know how easily the hand bleeds and … I don't know … I missed lunch so I got a little dizzy. Stumbled on my lab stool, fell backwards and hit my head on something."

"Oh Fitz …"

"It's alright, I don't think I lost consciousness or maybe just a second, just knocked the wind out of me but …"

"Oh but Fitz this is serious, a head injury shouldn't be taken lightly, did they check for a …"

"concussion? Yes! You know we have pretty good doctors at SHIELD …"

« Yeah of course I know that …" She answered but still grabbed the chart that was attached on the end of his bed to check if their tests were up to Jemma Simmons' standards. "But Fitz it says here that you do have a concussion!" She cried out, swatting his arm, the uninjured one, with the chart.

"I would have told you so if you stopped interrupting me!" He cried out a little louder, his accent getting thicker as he was obviously annoyed and frustrated by this conversation. "And that's why they said I should take the rest of the day off but someone should stay with me all the time AND I should stay awake as late as I could tonight just in case. I mean it's ridiculous I feel fine so we can just get out of here, get back the phone they confiscated from me …" He said with a roll of his eyes and a pout like a teenager that would have been caught cheating in class on his cellphone. "And I'll take a cab home, don't worry about me, it's embarrassing enough that I almost fainted over a little blood, I don't need to be …"

"No no no, not a chance!" She cut him off again. "A concussion is a serious thing, I'll give a few instructions in the lab and take my laptop to finish working at home …"

"But Jemma …"

"No Fitz!" She interrupted him, surprising herself with the volume of her voice and sparkle of anger behind it. Fitz must have seen and heard it because he stopped talking immediately and was looking at her in a bit of hurt and confusion, his right hand going to massage his left palm in this nervous gesture he often did when being yelled at and she felt a little guilty for triggering it. But in the same time, she was inexplicably angry at him for being careless and getting injured, so she barreled on. "You have to be careful in the lab Fitz! You could have damaged your hand or hit something sharper with your head, who knows what could have …"

"Hey hey hey! I AM careful in the lab! I'm not the one mixing dead specimens with people's lunch ..." He cried out, his own anger flaring out.

"Oh please not that again I told you …"

"The beaker was faulty Jemma!" His accent was now so thick it was a miracle she could still understand him. "You're the one bringing it up and yelling at me, I can’t believe you’re getting mad at me for hurting myself!" 

"I'm not mad Fitz, I was worried, I got the phone call and I just-I …" The sob escaping her mouth surprised herself as much as it did him. She tried to stop it by putting her hand in front of her mouth but it escaped anyway and she could already feel tears pool in her eyes. 

After the initial moment of surprise, Fitz's face softened. Of course he'd understood immediately what this phone call could have reminded her especially since these idiots didn't bother telling her what was wrong. 

"Oh Jemma I'm sorry I didn't think think of … I didn’t want you to worry I …"

"No don't be, accidents happen and I know you're usually careful in the lab, it's just I … I was afraid it could be … I just-I can't lose you too Fitz …" She finally said, her voice barely more than a whisper and not meeting his eyes. 

"You won't Jemma!" He answered in that incredibly soft voice he only ever used for her. "Hey …" Just as she was trying to step back, he gently cupped her jaw to make her look up at him. God, how was she supposed to focus on anything else he said or did when he was looking at her like that with those blue eyes. "I'm not going anywhere Jemma, come here …" He said holding her gaze with an intensity and softness that had her stomach make a funny little flip before pulling her into a hug. It forced her to stand between his legs once more but she didn't care as she let herself be engulfed into his strong arms and reassuring familiar smell. She hadn’t allowed herself to be this free in her affection for him since the kiss and it felt much nicer than it had any right to be.

It's only when she heard the exaggerated cough and throat clearing from the doctor just a few feet away from them that she realized they just stayed that way for several minutes.

"Well I think I can trust you to take care of him from now on …" The woman said to Jemma with the hint of a smirk and a raised eyebrow as they quickly broke away, avoiding each other's eyes and blushing like they'd been caught doing much worse than hugging. 

"Hum yes yes thank you doctor. I'll know what to do." Jemma answered, trying to keep her voice as professional as she could considering her face had been snuggled up against Fitz's neck five seconds ago. 

"And I believe this is yours!" The doctor added as she took Fitz's phone out of her pocket and handed it to him, which he took with a mumbled "thank you". "And don't worry …" She added with a wink. "I'm still your doctor so patient/doctor confidentiality is still a thing as long as you're in this hospital …" She finished, trailing off as she let her eyes travel between the both of them. 

But before either of them had the time to protest, the woman was gone and they were left on their own. Just when she thought she'd find Fitz blushing and looking down at his hands or his phone or anywhere else but her, she caught his gaze. He had this look in his eyes, the one she thought she saw for a second after they broke away from their kiss, filled with tenderness and longing, the one that almost made her dive in for more. And she might have done this just now if he hadn’t cleared his throat and looked away as he got off the bed. She couldn’t blame him really. She must have been so confusing the last time, why would he risk it now? 

It was a good thing she didn't have the time to tell the doctor it wasn't what she thought it was because Jemma was still a terrible liar. Something had definitely shifted between them and she wouldn't be able to lie about it much longer, to herself or anyone else. 

-0-0-0-

"Well hello Fitz …" 

Amy's voice came from the barely open door of her room and still a bit sleepy as he was, he jumped in surprise. 

"Oh bloody hell Amy … Do you have to be so creepy?" He breathed out, his heart beating a little too fast from being startled. 

"I'm not being creepy, I'm just getting out of my bedroom to get breakfast and find you getting out of my sister's room in the morning …"

"'s not what you think!" He said, rolling his eyes as a blush still crept up his neck. "Hurt my head and had to stay awake really late because of the concussion. Jemma offered to watch movies in her room but we still ended up falling asleep …" He finished as he started walking to the kitchen, choosing to keep for himself how much he loved waking up with her all snuggled up to him, her head resting lightly against his shoulders and her fingers intertwined in his, something that apparently happened in their sleep. It had taken all his willpower not pull her closer and try and kiss her awake. He had to stop thinking that way about her best friend, he couldn't go around imagining their life as a couple every time she just acted friendly and affectionate. 

"I know … Jemma told me." Amy answered, following him and apparently not intent on letting this go. "It's interesting that you should think that's what I would think though …"

"That's not interesting, you keep making very not subtle ridiculous suggestions all the time, of course I would think that!" 

"Oh of course ridiculous ... you two take every opportunity I'm not at home to snog on the couch but I'm the one ..."

"Amy!" He cut her off, hissing her name in a way he hoped was agressive enough to make her stop talking. From the way she smirked and gave them sometimes pointed looks, he knew Jemma told her but it was the first time she mentionned it openly. 

Trying to mask his embarrassment by uselessly opening every door and drawer to find what he needed to make pancakes, he took a deep breath to try and sound casual about it. 

"Not every occasion, just once, drunken mistake, nothing more to say about it ... won’t happen again ..." He trailed off. 

"Would you like it to happen again?"

"What? No ... Amy come on ... will you just ..." Fitz sighed. "You're a teenager aren’t you supposed to sleep until noon on week-ends anyway?" 

"I would if I hadn’t been woken up by YOUR snoring coming from my sister's room!" She grinned and he rolled his eyes as he started mixing all the ingredients. It's been a while since he had the occasion to be up before Jemma and cook breakfast for the both of them but he'd done it so often in the past that it all came back almost automatically. 

"Oh wow okay I get it now ... you woke up to be annoying ..." He grinned back and for a moment he thought he was finally free. Amy seemed to have lost interest in him and taken a bigger one on her phone. 

"What are you doing?" 

Of course it was too good to be true.

"Well breakfast! I know you're not a genius but I thought it was fairly obvious!" 

"No I mean why are you putting everything on a tray? Oh my god Fitz ... are you bringing her breakfast in bed ?" 

Her smile was much more sincere and less teasing but if anything, it made him just really confused.

"Well yeah … I kept her up all night … because of the concussion" Fitz added quickly when he saw her smile turn into a smirk. "'t was the least I could do really … What?" He finished when she just kept on smiling wider and wider. It didn't feel like such a big deal, it would just be nice for her to stay in bed a little longer. 

"Nothing just … that's what my dad used to do for my mom when she was tired or sick, it was so sweet and ... romantic …" 

Even though, he was clearly uncomfortable with the implied comparison, he couldn't help smiling a bit too. It was one of the things he'd noticed the few times he'd been a guest at the Simmons' household. Even after more than twenty years of marriage, they were both still so in love, always having a sweet word for each other and doing all kinds of romantic gestures. And even if Jemma and Amy always pretended to be annoyed or grossed out when they did, he knew they found it sweet. And he envied them. He supposed his parents had to have been like that at some point but he never got to see it. By the time he was old enough to remember, all he could witness between them was at best a cold politeness but what really stuck were the screams, the insults and the tears, even though his mom tried her best to keep it down when Fitz was home. Maybe that was why Jemma was so much better than him at romance. She’s had the best example possible. 

"I just think it's too bad that you two can't admit what everybody can see …" Amy sighed. Her mood had clearly shifted from teasing to almost tender and melancholic and somehow it made him feel even more uncomfortable. 

Adding two glasses of orange juice on the tray, Fitz made sure everything was stable and started walking towards Jemma's room, hoping she would just drop the subject and not actually follow him inside Jemma's room. 

"I mean it's not just the kiss, even before, every one of her boring boyfriends she ended up comparing them to you and well … guess why they didn't last long …"

"Amy will you please …"

"Even dad kept asking why she bothered with anyone else when she'd already found you!"

"Amy stop!" He cried out and winced at how loud it was. Jemma had to have heard that. So walking back to the kitchen, he put the tray on the counter with a little more strength than necessary and pulled Amy to the side. The words flew out of his mouth before he really had the time to think them through. "Listen, she doesn't think of me that way, she made it pretty clear after that kiss that it was a big mistake so I'm trying to be a good friend and respect that okay … just please … stop-stop making things more difficult than they already are for me…" 

When he finished, he was pretty much as wide eyed as she was. The anguish and sad resolve in his own voice surprised him but more importantly, he'd pretty much admitted to her what he didn't even admit to himself, just not in so many words. But from the look on her face, it was crystal clear all the same. 

"Oh Fitz … it's really not as clear for her as you think it is, you should really talk to her about …"

"What …did she actually tell you something about it?"

"No … not in so many words, more the way she looks at you when you’re not watching and …"

"No yeah that's what I thought …"

"But I …"

"Please Amy … let it go …" He asked one more time, his tone pleading. And apparently his sad puppy dog eyes didn't work only on Jemma because Amy just sighed and nodded and he felt a little relieved even though he knew she'd use the first opportunity to make him talk some more about those feelings he still didn't completely understand himself. Of all the people he could have confided in, he had to choose the only person who was as close to Jemma as he was. 

"Still … can't believe I've only ever kissed the one boy and I feel like I can see things much clearer than you two …" She mumbled under her breath as she went about preparing her own breakfast. 

"What?" He cried out. "Who's that boy? Do we know him? How old is he? Who are his parents?" He added, trying his best to remain serious and Amy didn't disappoint, sighing loudly and rolling her eyes at him in a way that meant she knew exactly what he was trying to do. So he used this opportunity to take back the tray before everything went cold and walked out of the room to bring breakfast in bed to his … very possibly more than that and act like the best friend and nothing else she needed him to be. 

-0-0-0-

"Oh Fitz! You could have called me when it was ready, it's enough that you prepared breakfast all on your own …" Jemma said with a soft smile as she sat up against the headboard, her legs still disappearing under the fluffy covers. While he was gone, she'd tied up her hair into a very messy bun on top of her head and slipped on a suspiciously familiar sweater and she looked so adorable he couldn't believe it took him so long to realize the tenderness he felt for her extended way past the realm of friendship.

"Oh well I can still bring this back to the living room table where it's still so cold and not at all fluffy …" He said with a raised eyebrow, not having the time to take more than a single step towards the door before she stopped him.

"No no no don't be hasty … Now that you're here I suppose we could just have breakfast here …" She grinned mischievously and he chuckled before moving back towards the bed. After managing to put the tray on the bed in a way that seemed not too precarious, he sat cross legged at the end of the bed opposite Jemma. 

"What are you doing?" She asked with a frown and for a moment his heart clenched as he wondered if he crossed some kind of boundary by thinking they could have breakfast in bed together. But her next sentence reassured him immediately. "Come next to me Fitz! What's the point of having breakfast in bed if you don't get to stay under the covers?" She said, more an affirmation than a question and he smiled shyly back at her. 

"You sure?"

"Of course Fitz don't be ridiculous, come here!" She answered brightly while turning the corner of her fluffy duvet in invitation with a soft smile. 

He tried not to blush too obviously as the gesture reminded him of a dream he's had a few weeks ago where she did just that except her "pyjamas" didn't leave much to the imagination and it clearly wasn't to have breakfast together. If it had been incredibly frustrating at the time, he supposed he should now be grateful that the dream stopped before anything other than the kind of kisses they'd actually already shared happened. 

"Mmmhh …" Jemma hummed in contentment a few minutes later once they were both settled comfortably under the covers. "These pancakes are amazing, I almost forgot how good of a cook you could be …" She added as she took a sip of her tea and let her head fall onto his shoulder. 

And he almost forgot what a tiny stomach she had, probably already feeling full after two pancakes and half a cup of tea. 

"They're just pancakes Jem …" He answered with a fond smile. 

"Still … I've never eaten better pancakes than the ones you make …" 

"Jem?" 

"Mhhmm?" 

He could feel her getting a little sleepy against his shoulder and he would have shamelessly let himself fall back asleep just like this, with Jemma all snuggled up against his side, if Amy hadn't been in the living room waiting for them to get out, most likely with some kind of snarky remark. So he just asked his question.

"Is this my sweater you're wearing?" 

"It's the one you lent me when we were in Sheffield … I kinda of voluntarily forgot to give it back to you …" She answered a little bashfully as she glanced up at him with an adorable smile and he chuckled. 

"Thought so …"

"D'you want it back?" She asked, sounding like it was the last thing she wanted to do and it warmed his heart somehow.

"No no, it's fine … I should be annoyed that you keep stealing my sweaters but it's kind of sweet actually …" He half whispered against her hair and he could feel her smile more than he saw it. 

"I liked having something that reminded me of you all this time we were separated …"She whispered back. "And even now it feels … nice …" She trailed off. 

The tension had settled over them without Fitz realizing it. But it wasn't the painful tension that had taken over after their kiss or the uncomfortable one he felt every time they were alone or just too close to each other during the weeks that followed. No this one was confusing for sure, but it also felt like hope and possibilities. The possibility that, if he turned his head to look her in the eyes now, maybe she wouldn't think their kiss was such a mistake after all. 

But maybe it was just all in his head and she really never saw him as anything more than a very good friend and he wasn't ready to read the certainty of it in her eyes. So he just reveled in the way she easily let him put his arm around her shoulder to pull her closer to him and maybe she was just cold but the tenderness and domesticity of it all was the best feeling in the world.

-0-0-0-

Jemma heard the loud female laugh the moment she entered the building.

"No that's totally understandable … but hum ... we could go grab a coffee, it'd be nice to get to know one of my neighbors for once ... in one way or another ..."

Wow that was really quite flirtatious, Jemma thought. At least someone in this building was having a social life and not constantly thinking about their best friend/roommate/maybe a lot more.  
As she closed the mail box, Jemma let out a loud sigh. Maybe tonight would be the night she finally finds the courage and opportunity to talk to Fitz and find out what they are and what they could be in a reasonable, adult way. Not by getting drunk and kiss him out of the blue only to panic and push him away only a moment later. 

Just as she was about to turn the corner and discover who were the flirty neighbors, a man's voice answered. A very familiar Scottish accented voice and Jemma stopped stone cold. Before she really had the time to process it, she stepped back and hid behind the large pillar she’d never even really noticed before. 

"Hum yeah ... yeah that’d be nice. There's a nice coffee shop around the corner if you want, it's usually pretty quiet at this time of day." Fitz answered. He didn't sound shy or awkward, he actually seemed quite confident and friendly. It wasn’t the first time he was talking to her, he knew that woman, that very attractive if slightly older woman. 

The feelings hit her so hard it made her legs all wobbly and her heart beat at an alarming rate and she was grateful for the pillar she was leaning against. The anguish, the pain, the longing, the disappointment and that absurd feeling of betrayal all combining to make her feel like she’d gone crazy, like she'd just witnessed her future with Fitz being crushed to pieces when she was still wondering what she was feeling for him just a minute ago.

-0-0-0-

"Hey? Is there someone in the house?" 

"Shit!" Jemma breathed out. She thought she’d have at least an hour to pull herself together. Amy was supposed to study at the library until closing time but apparently, today of all days, she’d decided to come home sooner. Jemma never had such an intense and irrational reaction, even back when she was a teenager or when it concerned her only boyfriend she really ever loved. But then again, it wasn’t just any boy, it was Fitz. Their relationship had never been like any other in her life. 

"Jemma?"

She could hear Amy’s steps getting closer to her room so she cleared her throat, quickly wiped her eyes, dimmed the lights and grabbed the first book she could find next to her bed. Hopefully Amy would only think she was tired and leave her alone to deal with her messed up feelings. 

"Jemma, you in there?" Amy asked as she knocked on the door. 

"Yes, come in!"

"Hey, everything’s alright?" Amy asked as she came to sit at the foot of the bed. "Why are you staying here in the dark?" 

"Oh I’m just tired, bit of a headache … I’ll probably just go to bed early …" She said with what she hoped was a convincing smile. 

"Okayyy …"

From the way Amy squinted her eyes and observed her for a moment, Jemma obviously wasn’t as convincing as she thought she was.

"Mmmh do you need anything? Tea? Something for your headache?"

"No I’m good I just need to …"

"Wait have you been crying?" Amy cut her off as she got closer and probably saw how red rimmed her eyes had to be after crying almost non stop for twenty minutes.

"Whaaat? No it’s just the …"

"Jemma please!" She stopped her with one hand on her knee. "I know you, I can tell you’ve been crying. What happened?" 

"I-I … " Jemma started, her treacherous eyes starting to pool with tears again. 

"Where’s Fitz? Did you fight with him? I thought he was supposed to be home before you tonight."

Damn her. She knew her too well and knew there weren’t many persons in her life that could bring her to care enough to put herself in such a state. 

"Yeah, he was home but he-he … he went out again …" She managed to breathe out before another sob escaped her mouth and then she couldn’t even control the way her shoulders started to shake as tears fell freely from her eyes. All she could do was cover her face with her hands to try and smother the sounds of her crying. She was the big sister, she was the one supposed to comfort her baby sister when she was heartbroken, not the other way around.

"Oh Jemma …"

Amy came to sit close to her on the bed and wrapped her arm around Jemma’s shoulder, making her rest her head against her own. Somehow, without Jemma really noticing it, Amy had grown to be taller than herself and the way she held her and rubbed her arm soothingly, strongly reminded her of how their mom used to comfort her. It was a little painful when she remembered that her mother would never do that for her anymore and in the same time comforting to realize that a little of her got to live through Amy.

After a long moment, once the crying subsided, Amy spoke softly.

"So … do you want to tell me why Fitz going out makes you cry like that?"

"He’s … he went out with someone …"

"A woman you mean?" 

"Yeah …"

"And that makes you sad because …"

God, she really was going to make her say it. 

"Because … because I’m in love with him." 

There. She finally admitted it. It probably would have felt liberating if she’d managed to get it out before it was too late.

"Oh …" 

She was expecting a lot more teasing and a lot more I-told-you-sos but when she looked up at her sister, Jemma saw mostly a sympathetic smile and tenderness in her eyes. 

"Well then what are you waiting for? Go for him Jemma!"

"What? No … It’s too late, I thought maybe he felt the same but now … he’s found someone else …" She sighed, relieved that she could now at least talk about it without crying. "And he brought her to our coffee shop …" she mumbled under her breath and Amy chuckled.

"I’m glad my misery is a source of amusement for you …" She added, pushing away from her sister and seating on the edge of the bed. 

"Oh please Jem, I’m not making fun of you, it’s just … you wouldn’t even admit you might have more than friendly feelings for him and now you’re already acting like a jealous girlfriend …"

"Well, it doesn’t change the fact that whatever I’m feeling, it’s too late because he’s found someone else. And I can’t even really blame him. I could have given us a chance to think about-about … us after our kiss but I just panicked and pushed him away and now he’s moved on and …"

"Jemma come on!" Amy cut her off as she stood up and started pacing impatiently. "He hasn’t moved on, whoever this girl is, he cannot have known her for long but you’ve been best friends for years and he’s loved you for who knows how long …"

"You don’t know that!"

"Yes I do! He told me so!" Amy cried out in exasperation.

"What? He-he told you he loved me?" Jemma breathed out, willing her heart not to beat so fast. She couldn’t get her hopes up too fast.

"Not in so many words but …"

"Oh … Amy I know you want to see things but obviously …"

"Obviously I was right about you! Why would I be wrong about him? Just please talk about it together, you’re going to drive me batty …"

"I don’t know Amy …" Jemma let out, flopping back onto her bed. "I don’t know if I can risk our friendship if I’m not sure he’s feeling the same …"

"Oh god you’re so infuriating! Both of you! Think about all the things he’s doing for you all the time: putting his social life on hold for us, agreeing to live with a teenager, helping me do my homework, bringing you breakfast in bed … Don’t get me wrong I know he’s just basically a great human being but he’s doing all these things for you … because he loves you alright? I can see it so clearly, mom and dad could too so please just TALK. TO. HIM." Amy finished and crossed her arms in a way that seemed to signify her words were final and she wouldn't leave Jemma with a choice anyway. 

And as the words sinked in, Jemma realized that she didn’t really have an argument to counter her. Because Fitz always did so much for her all the time and she was the one to back away from the kiss and insist the kiss was a mistake, he only ever followed her lead. So, slowly, she let her smile tick up her lips as she asked: "So … mom and dad knew?"

"Yeah …" Amy answered with a soft smile. "They even had a bet going on … Mom thought it would happen during your road trip, Dad thought it would be once you got to live together!" She added and they both chuckled. Jemma supposed she should have suspected something the last time Fitz came to Sheffield and her mum kept asking if she really needed to get the guest room ready. 

"Well go and get him now!" Amy added when Jemma didn’t move.

"What? Now?" 

"Of course now … before that bitch gets her hands on him!" 

"Amy!" Jemma cried out, shocked and amused at the same time. 

"What? Tell me that’s not what you’re thinking …" Amy raised a defiant eyebrow.

"Okay maybe just a tiny bit but still … I can’t really blame her for being interested in Fitz, he’s sweet and smart and really handsome and …"

"Urgh stop, I’m not ready for that!" Amy cut her off with a slightly disgusted face and Jemma rolled her eyes.

"Oh what? Now you don’t want to …"

"Please just go talk to him now or I swear I’ll wait till I’m eighteen and I’ll try my own chances with him …"

"But you just …"

"Just because I don’t want to hear you fawn over him doesn’t him I haven’t kept that very nice mental image of him just after he was done fixing the plumbing …" Amy grinned and Jemma couldn’t stop the smile creeping up her face at the pleasant if slightly awkward memory. 

"Fine, I’m going!" 

"Finally!"

Jemma pondered going to the bathroom to refresh her makeup or maybe even change into something nicer but then again, she wasn’t going on a date with him. She was going to interrupt his date with someone else to make a love declaration and if he did love her back, she supposed it didn’t make much of a difference that she looked like her every day self with her eyes maybe a little puffier than usual.

"Oh and Jemma?" Amy asked her as she was about to open the door. 

"Yeah?"

"Tell me when you’re all good so I can start teasing you!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the one I was talking about when I mentioned the rating might stray towards M at some point. It's really mild and could still probably be considered a T rating but I'm warning you to stay on the safe side ;)

Jemma made it almost all the way to the coffee shop before realizing she had no idea what she was actually going to say to Fitz. She'd been at the same time so excited and nervous that she didn't even consider the fact that she might have to say a little bit more than just "I'm in love with you" for him to understand what was happening. 

Slowing her pace and going to lean against the wall of a building entrance before she was too close and Fitz might see her through the coffee shop window, she took a deep breath and started thinking. She couldn't just barge in, walk up to him and kiss him senseless while he was in the middle of his date. Or could she? At least, that would have the advantage of getting the message across quite efficiently. After all they'd obviously never been very good when it came to talking about their feelings for each other so maybe acting out these feelings was the way to go. But that would most likely cause a scene or bring at least definitely bring the attention on them and Fitz would most definitely not like that. Not to mention it wouldn't be fair to this woman. After all, she had no reason to suspect the best friend of the man she was supposedly on a date with was deeply in love with him and that he was possibly (hopefully) reciprocating them.

So she supposed she would just have to go in and tell him she had something to say to him, something that could obviously not wait until the end of his date and hopefully, it would intrigue him enough to come home with her and they could have that talk in private. It still wouldn't be nice to their neighbor but that was the least terrible option. Walking the last few meters separating her from the coffee shop, she was about to cross the street when she spotted Fitz in the corner of the shop just in front of the window at their favorite table and she felt a pang of jealousy. Not only did he bring her to their coffee shop but he also took her to their table. And he looked quite peaceful too, not exhaling tension like he usually did on a first date, and smiling sincerely.

"No need to panic …" Jemma whispered to herself as she took another deep breath. After all it was to be expected, he liked her well enough to go on a coffee date with her but like Amy said, he didn't know her for long, he didn't share with her everything he shared with Jemma. There was no reason to believe he would chose this woman over herself just because he was smiling and at ease. 

With this in mind, Jemma finally crossed the street, pushed open the door to the coffee shop, walked up to Fitz with what she hoped was a reassuring smile on her face and then … nothing. If she needed proof that preparation was a key element to success, this was it. Spontaneity was a nice romantic notion but it definitely wasn't for her. And the more Fitz looked at her, his expression going from curious to embarrassed to actually worried, the more her mind seemed to fill with white noise. It probably didn't help that at some point she got so worried that she discreetly tried to puff up her cheeks to check if she wasn't having a stroke. Apparently she wasn't and she was almost disappointed about it because it would have been a lot less awkward than her present situation and a very effective way to put an end to Fitz's date at the very least. 

"Jemma … did you … did you need anything?" Fitz finally asked with a very careful slow tone, like he was talking to a child or a crazy person.

"Muffins!" She cried out so loud that a few customers turned around to look at her curiously.

"Muffins?" 

"Yeah, I came to get muffins but you were here so hum ... hi!" She said in an overly cheery tone and winced internally. (at least she hoped it was internally, at this point, everything was possible) Fitz knew her well and knew that something was wrong. "Hello, I'm Jemma!" She added, turning towards the slightly older but admittedly attractive woman. Her tone sounded even faker then.

"Oh hi, I'm Linda I'm actually your ..."

"Jemma are you sure everything's fine?" Fitz cut her off.

"Oh yeah sorry got to go! My show's about to start!" 

"What about muffins?" Fitz asked, frowning. The sincere worry etched on his face almost made her stop and confess on the spot but apparently her mouth now had a mind of its own. 

"They've run out!" Jemma called out when she was already halfway through the door.

"No I'm pretty sure they still ..."

"Not the kind I wanted! Sorry I really have to run now Fitz, see you at home!" She let out before actually getting into a small jog. 

God, this would actually have been less embarrassing if she did confess her love and he rejected her publicly. And now she was no closer to admitting her love for her best friend and Amy would call her a coward. 

AND she had to find something good enough to watch on TV so she could persist in her ridiculous lie when Fitz came home. 

If he ever came home that night, she thought biterly as she felt her heart clench at the thought. 

-0-0-0-

"So that was Jemma ..." Fitz let out, feeling a little disconcerted by her friend's extremely strange behavior.

"Yeah I got that part." Linda replied with a small chuckle. 

"She doesn't usually look this crazy ..." Fitz added as much for his own benefits than for Linda's. 

"She wasn’t acting crazy ... Which is a word I don't like to use anyway. She was jealous and she obviously had something to say other than "hi" and I think she just panicked Fitz!" Linda said and he finally turned around, looking at her with wide eyes and she chuckled fondly at his overly expressive face.

"No wonder it took you this long ... for two geniuses you seem to be pretty bad at reading simple body language … the way she looked at you, that was longing. I'd be ready to bet she's just as much in love with you as you are with her!"

"Oh ..." Fitz simply let out, not able to say more as he felt his heart beat so fast and loud that it made his ears ring. Linda had just convinced him to talk to Jemma about his feelings but only a small part of him kept hope and believed that she could truly reciprocate them. But now he had to admit her behavior had been really strange ... So could she really ...

"Fitz?" Linda cut him off in his reflexions.

"Yeah?"

"Now might be a good time to run after her and tell her how you feel and that this …" Linda motioned between them with her finger. "… wasn't a date!"

"Oh … oh yeah of course I …" He started as he stood up and hastily put his jacket back on. "I-I have to go tell Jemma I love her!" He finally let out like he couldn't believe it himself. When he tried to reach into his back pocket for his wallet, Linda stopped him. 

"Fitz, don't worry about it, I'll pay, you just go before she has the time to imagine things!" She said and he felt a burst of gratefulness for this woman who was almost a stranger. When she understood that Fitz just couldn't take subtle hints after months of crossing each other in the hallway and finally just asked him out and he blurted out that he was in love with his best friend, he'd expected her to forget about it and hope they wouldn't see each other anytime soon. But after a short moment of disappointment, she'd offered him to talk about it. Maybe she saw some of the distress in his eyes or maybe she was just a genuinely nice person. Either way, he was glad he still had it in him to trust people because more often than not, it was a good surprise. 

"Oh no I can't let you, you've only listened to me talking for an hour, usually people pay you to do that …" He tried to insist but she shook her head. 

"No really go … and if everything goes as planned, you'll tell me all about it … real life romance is so much better than movies!" She grinned and he chuckled even as he felt his cheeks heat up.

"Damn …" She sighed. "You really are adorable … she's a lucky girl!" She added and his cheeks got even redder. 

"Oh no I'm the lucky one!" 

"Urgh!" She cried out while rolling her eyes fondly. "Stop being cute and go get her now!"

For a moment, Fitz almost considered asking her to come with him since she seemed a lot better at understanding what was happening between him and Jemma these days but he decided that it might make everyone uncomfortable and forgot about it.

"Oh yeah yeah of course! Thanks again for … everything!" He said, giving her shoulder a tentative squeeze before hurrying out of the coffee shop and feeling at the same time exhilarated, nervous, happy and a thousand more emotions. Home had never felt further than it did at this instant and in the same time so close, too close for him to have the time to prepare what he'd tell her. But he doubted he would ever be really ready for this anyway so he'd have to trust in instincts.

-0-0-0-

"Jemma?" He called out the moment he entered the apartment and regretted it instantly. 

Whatever was going to happen between them, he wanted it to actually stay between them and not alert every other resident (well Amy obviously) by urgently and breathlessly calling out Jemma's name. 

Fortunately, he could hear loud music and giggles coming from Amy's room and with the added noise coming from the living room TV, she most likely didn't hear him. The same couldn't be said for Jemma because the moment he entered her line of sight, her gaze was on him and it was at the same time unsure and worried and as intense as he ever saw it. For a moment, he felt like he couldn't even move, glued into place by all the emotions he could read on her face and thought he finally understood: there was a little sadness and anguish yes but it was almost drowned in the incredible amount of tenderness and longing and that was what finally gave him the boost he needed to take the last few steps separating them. 

He let himself fall onto the couch next to her without even bothering to take his jacket off, took her hand in his and wondered how it could be so cold when he was the one who just came in from the cold. 

"Jemma I need to …"

"… talk to you!" They said, finishing each other's sentence like they so often did. 

For a second, Fitz got distracted by Doctor Who on TV. It was one of their favorite episodes and he wondered if she really had to run when she said she had but before he had the time to ask, Jemma took this opportunity to take the lead.

"I didn't come to the coffee shop to get muffins but you probably got that anyway …" She trailed off before going back on tracks. "I'm sorry it took me so long but when I saw you leaving with her earlier, that's when it finally hit me Fitz …" She was squeezing his hand hard now, almost to the point of being painful but she probably didn't realize it and he didn't mind anyway, he needed the contact as much as she did apparently. "I know it's probably too late because now you found someone else but I have to say it or it's going to-it's going to … I love you Fitz" She finally blurted out, her eyes wide like she was surprising herself as much as she was surprising him. 

"Jemma I …" He started but she cut him off and he felt a slight pang of irritation because even as they were having what was probably the most important conversation since they first met each other, she had to talk over him. But of course it was also one of the many reasons why he loved her. If she could only let him tell her that.

"I mean I always loved you, you've been my best friend for years but now I-I'm in love with you Fitz … And if you think there's a …" 

"I love you too Jemma!" He cut her off and felt his heart grow two sizes at the instant smile that formed on her lips. "As in I'm in love with you. Probably been that way for years but I think it took that mind blowing kiss, the one at our Christmas slash birthday party for me to truly realize it …" he added and now there was a little amusement on her face as well and he knew exactly why: did he really need to pinpoint which kiss he was talking about? Like she could think that instead of this one, it was one of the thousands cheek or forehead kisses they shared over the years. 

"But what about …"

"Linda?" He finished for her and she nodded her head in slight confusion. "Wasn't a date … well she did ask me out but I told her I couldn't because I was in love with you! In retrospect, I wish I hadn't told an almost complete stranger about my feelings before I told you but hum … she was really nice, offered to talk about it, she's a psychotherapist so it actually helped … and she'd just convinced me to talk to you when you came into the coffee shop. I guess it makes sense that we both …" 

"Fitz!" She cut him off by taking his other hand in hers. She knew he tended to ramble when he was nervous. "What are we going to do now?" She asked, sounding at the same time hopeful and terrified. 

"I don't know … What do people usually do when they're in love with each other?" He teased and they grinned happily at each other, their eyes wet with unshed happy tears. "I mean I know it's beyond scary because we've been best friends for so long and I don't know what I would do if things turned … bad but …"

"Our feelings are not going to disappear just because we want it and I don't anyway … I don't want them to disappear."

"Me neither …" He breathed out. The fingers from their four hands were now interlaced in an inextricable mess and he supposed it was perfectly fitting because he always felt like there were a thousand threads keeping them attached together even when they were far away from each other. And as they grew up and their relationship evolved, it felt like more and more threads were created between them, to the point where it was becoming impossible to untangle them.

"This year's been horrible and I miss my parents every day but you're the person who made it all bearable and made me smile when I thought it wouldn't be possible anymore and you made life so much easier and in the same time more interesting than I thought it could be. And hum ... if there's one thing their death taught me is that you shouldn't wait to take a chance at happiness and tell people you love them because you never know what …" She trailed off, tears finally falling down her cheeks. He hoped a part of those were happy tears but that didn't stop him from pulling her into an enveloping hug either way. 

She seemed to melt into him instantly, wounding her arms around his waist. He could feel her warm breath on his neck and for a moment that was enough. 

"Fitz …" She sighed after a moment, sending shivers down his spine. "You've been so loving and caring and sweet and so endearingly infuriating all these years we've been friends, I can't believe I lost so much time dating idiots when I could have had … you …"

She pressed a trail of small kisses to his neck and jaw and it took all his willpower not to crash his lips to hers and pull her closer like he's been thinking about doing since long before he realized he was in love with her.

"I did tell you they were all idiots …" He teased and she chuckled. "And they really didn't deserve you because you are all those things too: loving, caring, sweet but also so ridiculously smart and so so much more … I always had a hard time believing you wanted to be my friend, I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that you would want me to be …"

"A lot more than that ..." She finished for him as she tightened her hold on him, sighing contentedly. It was funny how easy it was to say all those things after all.

So after all this time, the solution to avoid all their miscommunications was a big long hug, he told himself. He could live with that.

"So …" Jemma started as she finally pulled back from him with a slightly bashful but sincere and happy smile. "What happens now? Do we … I don't … What-what do we want to do?" She finally asked and Fitz fought the idea of teasing her for once in her life not having the answer to a question and not wanting to take the lead on one of their projects … if their potentially changing relationship could be called that. 

"This … us ... it's important so maybe we shouldn't rush into it, take things slow, enjoy every step of it?" Fitz proposed and for a moment he wondered if he said the wrong thing because Jemma obviously didn't expect that and seemed maybe a little bit disappointed. But it lasted only a second and then her warm tender smile was tucking at her lips again. 

"Oh … yeah that makes sense so …" She trailed off. 

"How about we go out to dinner tomorrow? Somewhere nice and … romantic … just the two of us?" He proposed with a tentative and bashful smile. He still wasn't entirely convinced that this wasn't all a dream, that he was actually asking his best friend in the world out on a date. He'd spent so much time telling himself that this would never happen between them that somehow, he felt like he needed to savor each step of their relationship, discover every new variable once at a time. He hoped she would understand, that she wouldn't take that as hesitation from him because there was none of that. A lot of nervousness, excitement and a bit of fear that he would somehow muck things up, yes, but there wasn't a shred of doubt in his mind that he loved her more than anything and wanted to be with her in every way she wanted him back. And seeing her blinding smile and sparkling eyes as she sat impossibly close to him on the couch, it was hard not to be reminded of that night. It would only take tilting his head a little bit to the side and he could kiss her again and then ...

"Yes I … I'd really love that Fitz …" She finally replied.

"Great … yeah … great then I'll start to work on options to run by you for … that …" He replied, wincing at how awkward that sounded but from her fond little smile, she didn't seem to mind. 

"So what about …"

"Now?" He finished for her and she nodded. "Let's just watch Doctor Who …" He let out as he finally took his jacket off before his lips curved into a mischievous smile. "After all you did run all the way from the coffee shop, don't want you to …" He started but she cut him off by playfully hitting him with one of the couch cushions, which turned into a pretty tame pillow fight, which ended with Fitz wounding his arms around her shoulders to stop her and Jemma deciding that it was actually pretty comfy being in his arms, their legs in a tangled mess. And Fitz really didn't have anything to say against that.

-0-0-0-

As a way of ending the day, she supposed watching Doctor Who all curled against her best friend-slash-hopefully-future boyfriend (she'd have to find a better word because she didn't feel like this one encompassed everything that he meant for her) was pretty good. Fitz was, as always, impossibly warm and since her head rested in the crook of his neck, she could smell this unique mix of soap, fresh linen and that something that was just him and very male and which she always associated with happiness and comfort. But she also couldn't help noticing how his heart was beating faster than usual, how his skin was slightly flushed and how his fingers were grazing the skin of her neck in a way that seemed decidedly more than friendly. 

And it's only when there was a loud explosion sound coming from the TV that she realized they'd almost reached the end of the episode and she didn't listen or watch a single minute of it, too busy that she was thinking about how their date would be like, how she would dress, how he would dress, where they would go or if he would pull out her chair for her. That was the kind of things Fitz would do and that she usually found awkward but somehow with Fitz, she thought she wouldn't mind. 

Looking up to see how focused Fitz was on the show, she caught him looking down at her with this tender expression she knew so well but also something else that looked a lot like … 

"Oh …" She exclaimed without actually letting out a sound when she looked down and realized he had a pretty nice view of her cleavage since the two top buttons of her blouse popped open when they were fighting. When she looked back up, he quickly looked away but she could see the blush attacking his neck and she grinned discreetly. Maybe some parts of him were not so intent on taking things slow after all and she'd actually quite like for those parts to take over his incredibly sweet but sometimes incredibly frustrating romantic mind. 

"Fitz?" She asked lightly. 

"Mmhm?" He replied, trying to sound casual and she realized it wasn't the first time he did it while they were watching TV all curled up against each other. Did this mean that he found her distracting before? 

Well as long as he did now, she was fine with it.

"Are you really watching any of this?" 

"Of course I am, one of my favorite episodes …" He replied airily as he quickly looked down at her with what she thought was a small smirk and she grinned even wider. 

"Oh yeah? Then what just happened?"

"That … thing exploded." 

"Wow … always loved your attention to details!" She teased.

"Well thank you!" He replied, pretending not to notice the sarcasm an used this opportunity to pull her even closer and press a chaste kiss to her temple that still managed to make her skin tingle deliciously. She couldn't believe he was playing like that when he was the one intent on "going slow".

"And what was that thing that exploded?"

"Hum … space ship?" 

"Not even close …" 

"Oh did I say spaceship? I meant car …"

"Sure cause those words sound a lot alike … and who made it explode?"

"Daleks … probably …"

So he wasn't even trying anymore. 

"Fitz!" She cried out in (mostly) fake outrage. "There's not a single dalek in this season!"

"Oh really … then I guess something must have me distracted …" He let out in a suddenly low, almost raspy voice and the butterflies in her stomach took flight.

"Oh … and what could that be?" She asked, cuddling even closer and splaying one hand on his chest to get his attention. He finally turned away from the TV to look at her and his eyes were dark and full of mirth. 

"Amy Pond …" He replied and she swatted his chest but her body refused to move away from him, too entranced that she was by the way he was looking at her. 

"Not in this season either!"

"Oh …" He let out, his face now so close to hers that she could feel his warm breath against her lips. "Then it has to be you …" and then his lips were on hers and any kind of smart retort she could think of flew from her mind. 

This time there was no hesitation. They'd obviously both been craving for another kiss since the moment Jemma broke their first one and now, they had no reason to stop. Sliding her hand up his chest until it rested at the nape of his neck, she parted her lips and sucked in his full upper lips and was rewarded with a small gasp. It was soon followed by his tongue brushing against her lip and demanding entrance. She gave him gladly and as he deepened the kiss, both his arms wound around her waist, making her shiver where his warm palm touched the small strip of skin uncovered by her blouse.

And now, she had the confirmation that it wasn't alcohol or confusion or anything else that made their first kiss feel so good. Now that there was no more miscommunication between them, their usual synchrony was back and it was beautiful. This time, she even had the luxury to notice that, like everything he did, Fitz was thorough, precise and agile with an underlying current of passion. And when it came to kissing, it was a very very good mix.

"So what about … going slow?" She asked breathlessly when they had to stop for air and he decided to focus on the sensitive skin of her neck. 

"Rubbish idea …" And now he was nipping at the skin of her shoulder and pushing her blouse out of the way as much as he could and his hands were very low on her waist and it was getting hard to remain in control. "Forget I ever said that …" He added, slipping one hand under her silky blouse, his deftly fingers sending tendrils of heat all over her body as he grazed the skin of her back.

"Good" She said before she took his face in her hands and brought his lips back to hers. "Cause this was the stupidest idea you ever had …" She teased and before he could pretend to be offended, she captured his lips once more and threaded her fingers through his curls, making him sigh in contentment. She always loved the feeling of his fluffy hair and she so rarely had the opportunity to touch them (she was allowed to only when he was really sick or very sad) that she might just never stop now. They kissed like that for another long moment. It was sweet and almost lazy, like they knew they had all the time in the world now. His hands were warm and exploratory but remained in safe territory, on her neck, her waist, her back, albeit very lower back sometimes, but she wanted more.

Just when she was about to take matters into her own hands, he proved to her once more that after weeks of confusion, they were finally in synch again. His hand finally slid down her back to rest on her bum and he used his grip on her to pull her across his lap, making her shriek in surprise and delight that his passionate temper was finally taking over. She quietly moaned into his mouth when his hands remained where they were as he kissed her with renewed hunger and urgency. 

"Mmmhh" She breathed as she parted her lips from his to lay soft kisses on his prickly jaw. It was a funny sensation and it made him look a little older. She suspected he stopped shaving closely when she told him the scruff looked good on him. And it did, emphasizing the nice shape of his jaw and the red in it proudly honoring his Scottish ancestors while bringing out the mesmerizing blue of his eyes in the process. When she reached the juncture of his neck and shoulder, he let out a low chuckle and if the goosebumps on his skin were any indication, it was more out of arousal than anything else and she grinned. 

"So …" She started between two kisses. "Mind blowing, hu?" 

"Wha'?" He asked sluggishly. His head was tilted to the side to give her more room to kiss him, his kiss swollen lips were slightly parted and his eyes were dark. How could it take her so long to realize that the soft boy she met when they were sixteen had turned into such a handsome sexy young man?

"Our kiss …" She went back up and nipped on his earlobe. "… before Christmas, you said it was … mind blowing" She finished, getting somehow distracted by his wandering hands. 

"Well obviously!" He exclaimed and moved back a bit to look into her eyes. "Don't you agree?" He asked smugly. 

"Oh yeah I suppose it was … alright …" She let out airily and he huffed. 

"Oh please, no one's ever tried to undress me as quickly as you did after only a few minutes of kissing …"

"Yeah?" She asked innocently as she tried to ignore the blush forming high on her cheeks. She did lose her head a bit that night but she didn't regret it anymore because it led to that moment and hopefully many more to come. "Well then I suppose you've been kissing the wrong girls … until now …" She finished with a glint in her eye she could see reflected in his own.

"Couldn't agree more Jemma!" He half whispered as he cradled her cheek and captured her lips once more. His fingers slipping into her hair and lightly scrapping her scalp felt so nice that she didn't even realize he was maneuvering them onto the couch and suddenly she was on her back with a pillow under her head and Fitz's body blanketing her. She gasped in surprise but then she felt his hips against hers and the evidence of his interest for their current activity and her hands flew to his shirt of their own volition and untucked it from his trousers to finally feel the warm skin of his back under her icy fingers. He startled at the touch and that would have made her laugh if it didn't make him grind against her. 

"Fitz" She moaned against his lips, surprising herself by the breathy quality of her voice. He opened his eyes for a moment to look at her and if she was immensely pleased by the lust she saw there, she was also reassured by the infinite tenderness that had always been there. Somehow she knew that whatever direction this new side of their relationship would go, to the core he would still be her sweet, caring and slightly infuriating best friend who would do anything she asked of him.

As he lowered his lips to hers once more and she simply wound her arms around his torso, she sighed in contentment. Not only because of the arousing sensations caused by his hands and mouth and firm body against hers but also because of the feeling of pure uninhibited intimacy. During their years of friendship, they never cared much for personal space but they still had limits, often dictated by others who already kept saying that two best friends were never this close unless there was something more. Of course, they obviously had a point but she still wished she hadn't deprived herself of this incredible feeling of being so close to him. She knew it was a ridiculous romantic notion but it felt like their bodies were made to fit together, Fitz being just a bit taller, heavier and stronger than herself meant that he could engulf her in a cocoon of warmth and comfort without crushing her and still making them equals in every way.

As much as her body was craving for her to move things along, she might have been content to stay that way for hours: kissing lazily as their bodies were melted against each other. Of course that was without counting on her quite supportive but pretty annoying sister with the worst timing ever. 

Thankfully, they had the time to hear the door open and thus her music getting louder, which gave them a few seconds to react. When Amy walked into the living room, Jemma and Fitz were back to sitting (more or less) in what they assumed was a casual attitude -Fitz with his legs crossed, Jemma with her head on his shoulder- and looking at the TV which fortunately was still playing Doctor Who. 

Taking a few steps in until she was facing them from the other side of the room, Amy paused for a moment as she studied them intently then rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Everything alright?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"Oh yeah … fine, just fine ..." Jemma replied exaggeratedly casually. "Fitz?" 

"What? Oh yeah I'm uh … good, fine, perfect .. thanks. You?" He half stuttered and turned back to Amy. 

"And I'm supposed to be the teenager …" She let out with another roll of her eyes. 

"What are you …"

"What do you …" They started at the same time but Amy cut them off with a disbelieving chuckle. 

"Really?" She asked, her tone somewhat amused and a little annoyed as she gave them a once over, suggesting them to do the same. 

Looking down, Jemma realized one more button had popped open and her bra was showing, her blouse was wrinkled and looking at Fitz with his half open shirt, mussed up hair, kiss swollen lips and very visible love bite on his collar bone, she supposed they made quite the conspicuous picture. Turning back to Amy, they gave her a sheepish and slightly apologetic smile. Not for the actual snogging -considering the conversation they had and Jemma's decision to confess her love for Fitz, this had always been a possibility- but for trying to hide it from her for no valid reason at all. Jemma supposed that the idea of kissing her best friend was still so new and surrealist that it felt almost forbidden and her first instinct was to keep it a secret. Like it was possible anyway, the three of them living together and Amy being annoyingly observant. 

"Told you so!" Was all Amy said after a moment of silence and Jemma couldn't help chuckling as she rolled her eyes. 

"How long are you going to tease us about it?" Fitz asked with a resigned sigh as he relaxed into the couch and pulled Jemma closer. She could get used to that, being in Fitz's arms for no specific reason at all, just because they could. 

"For now, that's it 'cause you're kind of cute together -and gross- but mostly cute" She answered with a soft smile and Jemma's heart skipped a beat. For a second there, as Amy tilted her head to the side and smiled in that very specific way, she was the spitting image of their mother. And from the way her mom always made very subtle hints when asking about Fitz and if any of them had someone in their life, she knew that was actually exactly how she would have reacted. 

"But more teasing will come, you can be sure of that. And for now, I'm going to get a snack and something to drink and then back to my room -you got two of those by the way- where I'm going to keep talking on the phone with Sally and listening to music as loud as possible." Amy said with a meaningful glance towards both of them. That made Jemma roll her eyes but when she turned towards Fitz, she could see how he'd turned a deep shade of red at Amy's comment and remembered he never had a sibling or even a cousin to talk about kissing and sex and relationships growing up and she felt a bit of pity for him because if that was enough to provoke such a blush, he was in for a world of pain with someone like Amy.

On her part, she thought it was actually quite adorable and somewhat reassuring because even though she was discovering that her best friend could be a sexual being and obviously knew what to do when alone with a woman, he was still her adorably shy best friend who stumbled and stuttered at the mere mention of the word sex. 

When she came back from the kitchen, her arms loaded with food (did she think she'd have to hide in her room for a week or what? They weren't animals for god's sake!), she stopped once more and gave them a wide mischievous grin.

"Please don't make babies until I'm gone to college, I don't wanna share my room …" She said and didn't wait for an answer as she turned the corner and walked into the hallway leading to her bedroom. 

Just as Jemma was relaxing and turning towards Fitz to snuggle against him some more and press a kiss to his cheek, Amy came back once more. 

"But do make babies at some point, they're gonna be as tiny and nerdy as you two are, it's gonna be adorable!" 

"Urgh!" Jemma cried out and Amy just barely managed to avoid the cushion Fitz sent to her face. 

"Just go to bed, you brat!" He cried out she burst out laughing before finally walking away and only did he let go of the other cushion he'd grabbed when he heard her bedroom door open and close a second later. 

-0-0-0-

"So hum … that's what it feels like to be a teenager …" Fitz let out with a small grin and Jemma chuckled before hooking her hands behind his neck and slipping back onto his lap. He'd told her how he never dated or even kissed anyone before he went to the academy where being a genius was actually a turn on to a lot of girls there who didn't seem to mind that he was a few years younger than everyone else. So he never had to wait for his parents to be out to sneak a girl into his room or find excuses to go out and see her. And well, right now he couldn't be happier to have the luxury of having his own apartment but he could imagine the thrill of having to be secretive.

"Yeah …" Jemma let out with a seductive grin. It would take time getting used to being on the receiving end of Jemma's flirtation but that was a hardship he was willing to go through. "… and there are no adults in the house tonight … What do you think we should do about it?" She asked against his lips before pressing a soft kiss there that still managed to send a tendril of heat through his whole body. It was like she was reading his mind.

"My room?" Was all he could answer and she grinned before standing up and pretending to smooth her blouse and hair to make herself presentable. It only made him want to make her look totally non presentable even more.

"Race you there?" She asked mischievously and didn't wait for his answer before running to his door. 

He caught her midway and by the time they made it to the door and blindly pushed it open, they were so tangled in each other that they settled for a tie. They'd always been better when working together anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done! Hope you enjoyed this one. Only one shorter chapter to go that will probably be published after Christmas since I'm taking a short break from my two current long stories to finish one or two short Christmas stories :)   
> Also, I'm using this opportunity to tell you I'm looking for a beta reader for my next stories (and the last chapters of my two current long stories). It would mostly be to correct my english which is not as perfect as I would like it to be but I would of course be glad to take any advice on the stories themselves, consistency between chapters, etc …   
> If you're interested, you can send me a PM here on AO3 and I'm also planning on setting up a Tumblr with my stories and fan art related to AoS and FitzSimmons.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the last chapter, sorry it took me this long but at least it gave me time to write a full chapter and not a short epilogue like I had planned 

"Fitz … wake up …" 

He was safely burrowed under the covers, he could easily pretend he didn’t hear her.

"Fiiiiitz come on it’s late …." 

The voice was much closer now. 

"Fiiiitz … you’re going to miss breakfast if you don’t get up …" 

"Don’t care Simmons, leave me alone …" He mumbled, still half asleep. 

"Alright … but I think you’re laying on my knickers so I’m gonna need you to move … I can’t walk about naked, we have a teenager in the house …" 

Wait knickers? Jemma’s knickers? In his bed? Where he was sleeping ... yes definitely sleeping naked at the moment. 

Suddenly the events of the previous night came back to his mind and he wasn’t asleep at all anymore. Coffee with Linda, Jemma confessing her love for him, him doing the same, the kissing, the ...

"Wait wait wait …" He croaked, his voice still rough from sleep, as he turned around in bed until he laid on his side and found himself face to face with Jemma lying on the other side of the bed naked, at least from the waist up from what he could see, her head resting on her arm and grinning down at him. "… did last night really happen? I didn’t dream it, did I?" 

"What do you think?" She asked, looking down at her very noticeable nakedness then looking back at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"Well … there’s the chance that I’m still dreaming …" He teased.

Rolling her eyes in amusement, she moved forward to press a sleepy kiss to his lips, her fingers lightly grazing the skin of his neck, then going back for a another one and then another before pulling back with a contented sigh. 

"Does this feel like a dream?" She asked in a whisper. 

"No, definitely not …" He answered with a dopey smile, pulling his hand from under the covers to caress her soft cheek. She looked so pretty in the morning, her hair a little messy and her skin still free from any makeup. They lived together so of course it wasn’t the first time he was seeing her just out of bed but somehow he’d always thought she did something before she got out of her room to look so fresh. But apparently, it was just one more perfect thing about his best friend and now girlfriend. Or maybe he was just being sappy. Or quite probably both. « Feels much better than any dream I’ve ever had …" 

"Mmmhh …" She almost purred, pushing against his hand like a cat and it only made him smile wider. « I feel the same … » 

"So hum … we kind of went from best friends to … well this » He started moving his finger between them and she grinned in amusement. "and I really don’t regret going this fast, trust me I don’t" He continued, his fingers going down from her cheek to her shoulder. "… but there are a few things we haven’t talked about yet like … what are we going to do at work?"

"Well I really think I'd be better if we didn't have sex at work!" She grinned.

"Jemma!" He sighed, rolling his eyes and she grinned even wider. "I mean I haven’t read that part since we signed our contract but isn’t there something about not … fraternizing with fellow agents or something?" 

"Well I have!" She answered, grinning in amusement at the way he blushed as the memory of their passionate night together and, knowing his very active imagination, probably picturing them being naughty in their lab.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh ... But when did you …"

"About a week ago …"

"Because you …"

"Because I’d just realized I might have feelings, romantic feelings, for you and well … you know I excel at preparation …" She finished for him with a pleased little smile and his heart filled with a deep fondness. That was such a Jemma thing to do. Being overwhelmed by confusing feelings and try to find the answer in rules. Once more, he was reminded that even though they’d both grown up a lot in the past few years, at heart, she was still the bright enthusiastic girl he met at sixteen and the first real friend he’s ever had.

"Wow …" He smiled back dumbly. "And …"

"The fraternization rule only applies to agents working together on the field and even then, there can be exceptions so I think we’re all good." She chirped.

"Wow … again!" He answered before letting his hand slide up to her cheek and bringing her face to him to capture her lips in an another slow sensual kiss. 

"Mmmhh …" He sighed. "I don’t know what makes more happy, that we get to do that now or that I won’t have to read this bloody contract myself!" He grinned and she laughed fondly. 

"And hum I know you wanted to go sooner but … I’m glad we’ll still get a chance to go into the field in a few years." He added and her laugh stopped and turned into a surprised but very pleased expression.

"Oh … so you still want to go into the field?"

"Of course I do! I told you I’d apply to go with you once Amy’s in college and I still mean it. Why do you think I’ve been working out for the past nine months?" 

"Oooohhh …" She let out, her head dropping to the side, looking like she finally understood something that’s been nagging at her for a while. 

"What? What is it?" He asked, confused and she gave him a seductive smile. 

"Well … I’ve been wondering if these …" She let her fingers trail down his chest and over his bicep. "were new or if I was just only now noticing them …" 

Would a day ever come where he’d get used to Jemma looking at him like that? 

"Well you know I’d do anything for you …" 

"Awww … well it’s much appreciated." She said, pushing him until he laid on his back and came to rest her head on his chest. "…yes much appreciated."

"So you like what you’re seeing?" He grinned and she swat his chest playfully. 

"Well I think I proved that to you last night … twice …" She grinned and he pulled her a little closer, not even caring that her skin was so cold from staying over the covers that he actually shivered, although to her defense it might have to do with the memory of how she proved it to him. He'd come to completely understand and accept that she reciprocated his feelings, they had such an history together and had so much in common that it made sense after all. But he'd also come to the conclusion that if she'd ever fall in love with him, it would mostly be something intellectual and that she’d basically make do with the physical part and just appreciate the way he would worship her body to make up for him not exactly falling into her standards of male beauty. But he'd been gobsmacked by how positively ravenous she’d been for him, her hands eager to map out every square inch of his body and her lips bolder than he could ever have imagined.

"But I really do appreciate it you know, not just this ..." She said, lightly grazing his chest for emphasis. "But everything about our new relationship. I know it's not even been a day but I can't imagine things being different anymore."

"Good 'cause I wasn't planning on letting you go anytime soon. Never actually ..." 

"Mmmhh"

For a moment, they just remained that way, marvelling at how nice and right and natural this all felt. And how easy it was to finally express those feelings that had remained buried for so long, and how freeing it was. 

"So hum ... you think they'll make an exception for us if we go to the field? Because I don't think I could work without you ...." He said against her temple. 

"For us? Fitz!" She cried out as she looked up at him. "Separately, any team would kill to get us but together, we’re unstoppable and they know it. Of course they’ll make an exception for us!" 

"Alright then …" He chuckled before pulling her half on top of him and pressing a small kiss on her lips. "... and do you think we could start being unstoppable in like ... an hour?" He asked tentatively. 

She grinned mischievously as she settled better and more fully on top of him. 

"Did you have something in mind?" She asked in a seductive tone. 

"I honestly just wanted to sleep a little bit more but I could be convinced if YOU have something in mind ..." 

"I could always convince you of anything anyway …" She grinned. 

"Well yeah … add the nakedness and I’ll do anything!" 

"Funny, I remember this time you stumbled upon me as I was getting out of the shower and my towel fell off and I don’t remember you doing any …." 

Whatever she wanted to add, she was stopped short by Fitz crashing their lips together. Fitz remembered that moment very well, in details even -damn his photographic memory- and it had been at the same time one of the most embarrassing moments of his life and, he’d still be ashamed to admit it today, part of his recurrent dreams throughout all his academy years. 

When they parted a few minutes later, panting and their limbs all tangled together, Jemma smiled down at him. 

"Alright then … you get one more hour in bed … and I get to keep you for the rest of my life …"

"Deal" 

-0-0-0-

Four months later

"Fitz … wake up, it’s eight thirty already …"

"Mmmmmhhhh …" The groaning came from deep under the covers and Jemma grinned. In the four months since their friendship had turned into the most fulfilling and exhilarating relationship she’s ever been in, she’d noticed quite proudly that Fitz’s general grumpiness in the morning could easily be countered by a good morning kiss and a few minutes of cuddling. Also she’d discovered that if Fitz was not exactly the most tactile person in general (although he'd always been a bit different with her), as a boyfriend, he was so adorably cuddly he basically turned into a love starved puppy. But one thing that had never changed was his unwillingness to get off bed when he wasn't forced to because of work. 

Most of the time she wouldn’t insist any further and try again later by taunting him with pancakes. Also since they’d decided to share a room (about three weeks into their relationship and his obviously, as it gave them a lot more intimacy than one that shared a door with a teenage girl), she’d started seeing why people liked this whole "staying in bed long after you woke up" thing so much. 

But this time, she was actually doing him a favor by insisting he woke up now. Because the other way that it could happen if he didn’t hurry, wouldn’t be pretty. 

"Fitz, come on, we have to leave for the airport at nine thirty." She said, pulling the cover just a little bit to see his face and she had to bite her cheek to stop herself from swooning at the total adorableness that was Leo Fitz with bed hair. 

"Perfect, I only need fifteen minutes to get ready, come back in half an hour!" He mumbled, making it a principle not to open his eyes despite him being obviously awake. 

"But you won’t have time for breakfast."

"I’ll buy some at the airport. I’ll buy us both breakfast if you come back to bed with me, you smell so niiiice in the morning…" He said, his voice slurring as he was obviously pretending to fall back asleep and blindly looking for her hand and grabbing it softly when he did. He was all warm from sleep and he knew his sleepy voice was her weakness and for a moment, she almost let herself be tempted. 

But no, today was a big day and she needed him for a lot of things. 

"No come on Fitz, you should really get up now or ..."

"Nooooo!" He screamed, his voice more high pitched than she ever heard. She hadn’t seen or heard Amy walk into the room until it was too late and she was pulling the covers away completely. 

"Amy!" Jemma cried out, as offended as she managed to sound while biting her lip to stop herself from laughing. It wasn't the kind of behavior she should be encouraging and he was really pathetic all curled up on himself in the middle of the bed but it was also kind of funny. 

"WHAT. THE. HELL?" He cried out, trying unsuccessfully to pull the blanket back. "I could have been naked!" 

"I know you don’t sleep naked. Jemma told me." Amy answered with an annoyed huff.

"Usually no but you don’t know what ... wait ... why do you even talk about this?"

When they got together Amy had been surprisingly curious about their intimacy for someone who pretended to be grossed out every time they kissed. So that information was one of the few harmless things Jemma had agreed to tell Amy so she would leave her alone and not try to embarrass Fitz by asking him much bolder questions. 

"Not important! Go get ready! I'm off to Sheffield for a month. Don't you want to see me off?"

"Oh yeah I'm gonna miss you SO much ..." He replied with fake enthusiasm as he sat up in bed and rubbed the last remnants of sleep from his eyes. 

"Stop it you two! Amy go check that you have everything and I'll make sure Fitz is ready on time." Jemma interrupted.

"You know I'm really going to enjoy having the apartment all to ourselves for the coming month ..." Fitz said as he finally got off bed once Amy was gone. 

Then moving towards her, he wound his arms around her, squeezing tight for a moment before releasing just long enough to give her a soft peck on the lips and an adorable sleepy smile.

Yes, a cuddly puppy, that's what he was. 

"Yeah ...me too" She replied with a soft smile as she laid her head on his chest for just one more minute, enjoying the warmth of his just-out-of-bed body. Of course that wasn't what was going to happen but she'd enjoy their time together nonetheless. And it was much funnier to let him discover it on his own than to simply tell him now. 

-0-0-0-

"Hu Jemma?" 

She heard his confused and slightly worried voice coming from her older room turned shared office and secondary dressing. Smiling widely, she didn’t bother answering and joined him in the room. There would be quite some explaining to do and she wasn’t going to do it by yelling across the apartment. She’d given him quite a lot of clues about her surprise in the past few weeks (both voluntarily and involuntarily) and it seemed that he finally realized something was happening. 

"Yes Fitz?" She replied with an innocent tone as she entered the room. 

"Hum why are half my clothes in a suitcase and not in my closet?" He asked, sounding like he was trying to remain calm but couldn’t really achieve it. He was looking between the suitcase and the closet like they'd been contaminated by some alien creature, which probably explained why he was still in his boxers and a t-shirt. "Is that some very cruel way to break up with me and tell me you want me out of the apartment?" He asked, half joking but still a little worried, and she rolled her eyes fondly. 

"No Fitz!" She sighed and closed the space between them to press a kiss to his lips to reassure him. "It's a way of telling you that for someone so smart you've been terrible at catching the clues I sent your way those past few weeks and now that it's getting close I have to go bigger!" She finished and if anything, he looked even more confused. 

"Jemma?" 

"First you should know that we're not going to have the apartment to ourselves for a month but only two weeks ..."

"What? Did you invite ..."

"And also we're not going to work on monday or the next thirteen days after that." She finished with a very pleased smile that turned even bigger when she saw his gobsmacked expression. 

"How about you consider I'm really stupid and you tell me what's going on? In details?" He asked with a smile that was slightly forced as he visibly tried not to look impatient. So she took his hand and led him to the small couch in the corner of the room and decided to put him out of his misery. 

"So you remember when we asked for some vacation days and they told us no because we'd already had two weeks at Christmas?" She started.

"Yeah ..."

"Well I insisted!" She grinned. "At first I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to be disappointed but when they finally said yes I thought it’d be even better to make it a surprise ..."

"What ...wh-how how did you ..." He stuttered with a look on his face that reminded her of that way he used to look at her at the beginning of their friendship when he was still discovering how smart she was. She’d always loved that look. It made her feel so special when it came from someone like Fitz. 

"...get them to agree? It's a long story, I'll explain later but among other things, it explains your work load these past weeks ... sorry. Hopefully you'll think it was worth it. But now we should get ready and drive Amy to the airport and then I'll tell you everything." She finished bashfully, only now realizing that maybe he would have wanted to participate to the planning of their first holidays as a couple.

"You're not mad that I'm only telling you this now?" She added after a while when he just looked at her and didn't respond. 

"Mad?" He repeated with a disbelieving chuckle. "It must have taken you so much time and energy and I get to have you all to myself, not only after work or during the week-end and hum… honestly any situation where I don't get to see Nathanson for two weeks is a good one!" He finished and they both chuckled. 

"Good then ..."

"Yeah ... best …" He kissed her cheek. "girlfriend" and then the other cheek. "ever." And then he kissed her lips. And what he'd apparently meant to be a small peck turned to something more sensual as she locked her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, making him softly groan before he started kissing her back in earnest. She squeaked in delight when he pulled her across his lap and wound his arms tighter around her waist. She should have protested, reminded him that they should finish getting ready but in the four months since they'd started dating, she realized they were both just as incapable of denying each other kisses and cuddles and what often followed if they were alone. Maybe it was because they were still catching up on all the time they could have been kissing but didn't or maybe they were just really compatible. 

"Urgh you guys get a room!" 

Well, she wasn't going to solve that mystery today. Giving Fitz one last peck on the lips (she didn't want to let her sister think they were doing something they should be ashamed of), she reluctantly pulled apart until she was siting on his lap in a much more innocent way.

"Technically, IT IS still my room Amy!" Jemma replied, rolling her eyes.

"But I work on this couch, so just … keep it in your pants and go get ready!" The girl cried out as she was already walking away from the room. 

"WELL IF YOU'RE GROSSED OUT BY A BIT OF KISSING, YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T SEAT ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH AFTER WHAT WE Mmmmphhhh …" Fitz started yelling back but Jemma stopped him by putting a hand on his mouth. 

"Fitz!" She cried out. "You can't tell THAT to my sister …" She half whispered as she felt herself blushing at the memory of what she exactly knew Fitz was talking about and he shrugged with an equally guilty and amused look.

"But she keeps trying to embarrass me, it's only fair I do the same …"

"I know Fitz" She cut him off. "But there are other ways … Wait till she brings home a boyfriend … imagine the possibilities …" Jemma grinned and after a moment, he grinned back. 

"Oh Jemma … you evil genius you!" 

-0-0-0-

The ride to the airport was rather ordinary. Ordinary meaning that Jemma spent half her time asking Amy if she hadn't forgotten her passport, the plane cushion Fitz designed years ago, the gifts for her aunt Beth and pretty much everything that was in her suitcase, and Amy spent half of hers telling her how annoying she was and that yes, she had everything because she'd already checked it a thousand times. At first, Fitz agreed with Amy and they both made fun of Jemma until he was reminded that time he did forget his passport despite Jemma's asking him about it ten times, and would have missed his flight home if Jemma hadn't insisted they left insanely early for the airport, thus giving him enough time to go back home to get it. After that, he basically agreed with her on everything, especially since he knew that with a little flattery about her flawless organizational skills she would probably do most of the packing for whatever their holidays would be. 

Jemma had been in a great mood all day, with her first holidays with her boyfriend coming up after weeks of planning, and it's only when Amy was checked in and they had to leave her so she could go through security, that she realized that it would be the first time they would be separated for longer than a day since their parents died. Intellectually she knew that flying was the safest form of travel, and the only reasonable one from the US to the UK anyway, but she still felt her stomach twist at the idea or her sister in that plane. For once, she cursed Fitz for being an engineer and her own extensive knowledge that meant that she knew exactly every single thing that could go wrong on an airplane during a flight. 

Taking a deep breath, she tried to reason herself. She couldn't possibly prevent Amy from going now and even if she could, they'd have to go back to the UK someday and actually being with her on the same flight wouldn't lessen the chances of something going wrong. And anyway, statistically, it was more dangerous to simply cross the street, especially in New York. 

"Jemma? Oi Jemma is everything alright?" Amy said quite loud, apparently not for the first time, as she interrupted Jemma in her inner debate. 

"What? Oh hum yes … just you know … so much to do before we leave on our holidays …" She answered, trying her best not to look worried. There was no need to make Amy nervous about flying. 

"Wow, I'm not even on the plane yet and you're already ignoring me …" Amy answered in mock offense. 

"Hey no that's not …" Jemma started with a slightly pained expression.

'I know Jemma, I was just kidding!" Amy cut her off with a playful bump of her shoulder. "But I have to go now or I'm really going to miss this plane, which would really be too bad considering how ridiculously early we left for the airport." She added. Jemma could hear Fitz trying to stifle a snort but by the time she turned to him, his face was the most perfect exemple of innocence. "He's lucky he's cute" she thought as she rolled her eyes and turned back to Amy. 

"Fine you're right. Just be careful not to lose your passport, get up at least three times during the flight to take a walk and text me the moment you touch ground, alright?" Jemma said, her voice soft and a little melancholic as she couldn't help reminding herself of her mother. 

"Sure!" Amy replied, rolling her eyes fondly. "Even if I didn't, I'm sure you set up an alarm on my phone or something to remind me!" She added and they both chuckled.

"Actually I wanted to but Fitz said it was a violation of your privacy so …" Jemma said with a sheepish shrug.

Amy turned to him for confirmation and Jemma supposed he gave Amy some sort of sign because Amy just shook her head in mock disapproval and grinned before taking a step forward. She hugged her sister tightly and sincerely and all trace of annoyance or impatience was gone and Jemma hugged her back.

They remained a long moment like that, longer than they probably ever had. They'd been away from each other for much longer than a month several times but this time was different and Jemma thought that Amy felt the same because she didn't try to move away from their embrace. And then, with Jemma reminding her for the hundredth time to be careful and not to forget anything and Amy pretending to be annoyed when she was really a little touched and both of them pretending not to have tears in their eyes, they finally walked away from each other. Amy gave Fitz a small hug before walking towards security and Jemma barely gave him the time to breathe before she buried herself in his arms, not to say goodbye but to find the comfort she's always found there. 

It's only when they watched Amy's plane take off safely through the airport window almost an hour later that Fitz talked. Looking down at where her head was nestled in the crook of his neck, he gently cradled her cheek to make her look up at him. 

"Everything alright?" He asked softly, seeing her definitely teary eyes.

"Yeah yeah it's just, I didn't I …" 

"You didn't think you were going to actually miss her, right?" He cut her off gently, probably hearing how emotions were making her voice strained.

She nodded even though it wasn't as simple as just missing her.

"It's stupid, isn't it? It's only going to be a month and I'm really excited for the coming weeks with you and …"

"You know, we could always change our plans, buy plane tickets to Sheffield and be there in a few days ... We'd still be on holidays and I'd still get to be with you all the time, I'd be fine with it if it made you feel better …" Fitz cut her off once more and the sincerity of his declaration made the butterflies that had been in her stomach for much longer than the four months they'd been dating, take flight. She knew how much he loved her, even before this love became romantic, but she didn't think she would one day stop being astounded by the depth of his feelings. He'd been so excited at the idea of being alone with her for so long and still he was willing to forget all about it just because of her irrational fears.

"No Fitz!" She replied, turning around to face him fully. "That's really sweet of you and I know you mean it but … I've been planning these holidays for us for weeks and it's going to be fantastic Fitz and I know Amy needs some alone time as well to reconnect with her older friends and aunt Beth, she'd always been closer to her than I was … It's just that, I know it's irrational but …"

"With what happened to your parents, you're afraid something is going to happen to her if you're not here to protect her?" 

People always said she and Fitz were psychically linked, an idea she found ridiculous, they just knew and understood each other so well, but sometimes, he made her wonder. 

"Yeah …" She sighed. 

His hand came back to cradle her cheek and he bowed down his head to press a kiss to her forehead before speaking again. 

"I know it's not the same but … when my father left, I was sad and angry and a million of other things but mostly I was terrified that someday my mom would do the same. Every day I went home from school with my stomach tied in a knot because I imagined that the house would be empty and it was such a huge relief to find her waiting for me. It got so bad I didn't even leave her side for a minute after school or during the week-end."

"Oh Fitz … you never told me that …" She let out and it was her turn to cradle his cheek and he smiled softly down at her. 

It had taken him months for him to tell her about his father leaving when he was ten after they first became friends. And another few months and a sleepless night they were supposed to spend studying for exams to give her more details about the whole story. But she'd always felt that there were things he never told her. 

"It's an old story now and I got over it in the end. Can you believe that my mom's now using it to guilt me into coming home to see her more often because I'm the one who left her after all?" He said, rolling his eyes affectionately and Jemma couldn't help giggling. That did sound like something Ms Fitz would do for her beloved and only son. 

"And how did you? Get over it I mean?" Jemma asked. 

"With time mostly … And I guess I just accepted that you couldn't know what might happen the next day or even in just an hour and you should enjoy the people that are here and who matter as soon as possible, stop wasting time worrying and everything …" He said before wincing slightly at himself. "Wow … hum that sounded an awful lot like a motivational poster and it's easier said than done but you know … that's the spirit …" He finished, shrugging a little bashfully and she grinned at him. 

How did her adorably grumpy genius boyfriend also become so wise and positive?

"Yeah a bit but … you're right, you're completely right. I'm going to keep the worry to a minimum and in six hours, I'll get her text and I'll know everything's fine." She sighed and moved forward to give him a small kiss. "So how about we go home so I can tell you how we're going to enjoy each other for the next two weeks …"

"I have a few ideas of my own, you know" Fitz grinned and she rolled her eyes. 

"I meant that I'm going to show you what I've planned for our trip but hum … I've already packed a few clothes" She said, air quoting the word clothes. "that would probably lead to something you couldn't even think of." She added and a small grin made its way on her face when she saw him blush at her innuendo. He might play it cool and show a little bravado once in a while but he was still the awkward genius she met years ago who still felt a little embarrassed talking about anything to do with the human body.

"Okay, let's go then!" Fitz breathed out, taking her hand as he started to walk out fast enough that it was just short of running. 

"Fitz!" She cried out, laughing incredulously at his eagerness. "Fitz!" She insisted as he kept on pulling her with him at such a rapid pace, until they reached the rather empty parking lot and he finally stopped and turned around. He looked at her with a big toothy grin for just a second before wounding his arms around her waist and pulling her to him to capture her lips into a heated kiss, his warm lips and sinful tongue making her see stars for a moment. 

"Fitz?" She whispered, her voice breathless, when they broke apart. 

"You like making me blush, I know I can make you breathless …" He replied, smiling smugly, even though he was just as breathless as she was. 

"And I'll never get tired of it …"

"What? Making me blush or me making you breathless?"

"Both Fitz …" She breathed out. 

"Let's go home then …" 

"Mmhmm …" 

-0-0-0-

Several hours later, Jemma lay curled up against Fitz's side on the couch, his arm around her shoulder and finally feeling like she was on holidays. Despite the promising kisses and teasing in the car on the way back home, they'd spent the last few hours in pretty much the same position on the couch, occasionally kissing but mostly talking. Because only a few minutes after they got home, as Jemma was pulling him in their bedroom with intent, he'd realized how she was just trying to distract herself from worrying for her sister. Not that he was ever against distracting her that way but in these circumstances, he suggested they talk instead. And of course, he was right.   
Jemma reminisced about her family, about happy moments with her parents, about how things used to be with her sister before they became close and how mean they were to each other, helping Fitz understand how she'd always been more creative than he was in terms of pranking their classmates at the Academy. Fitz also shared a few stories, happy ones with his mother and other darker ones with his father. But the important thing was that they were together now and it made the happy memories even happier and the sad ones a little less sad. By the time Jemma got the text from Amy telling her she got to the UK alright, she wasn't even that worried anymore but still, she let out a sigh of relief and Fitz pulled her a little closer to press a kiss to her forehead.

She could sense that he was getting impatient to know where she was taking him on holidays but still, he said nothing and patiently waited until she was feeling more serene because that was how great he was. So she decided to finally put him out of his misery and tell him.

Of course, she had a whole thing prepared that relied, for a big part, on his memory. So knowing his was as good as hers, hopefully this would go well. 

"Do you remember when we first met?" She asked after a moment, turning her head a little to look up at him. 

"Of course I do Jemma ... I will spend the rest of my life thanking your alarm clock for malfunctioning this day and giving me the opportunity and courage to finally speak to you." He replied and she smiled fondly at the memory. 

-0-0-0-

They'd both started at the academy for two months already and they were just so young and achingly shy back then. To Jemma, it was the most exiting time of her young life but as fascinated as she was by what she was studying, she still felt a little lonely. Oh sure, she was friendly enough that she had good relations with her dorm neighbors and classmates but she still didn't feel like she really connected to any other student. Maybe it was the age difference or the fact that she was still smarter than everyone else, even there at the academy where only the most brilliant were recruited, but no one had really picked her interest yet. And then, one morning, her alarm clock didn't work and she woke up just five minutes before the beginning of her class. She knew professor McSnurp didn't allow students in past the first few minutes of class and she knew she had at least at a 6-7 minutes walk to get there. Still, she'd packed her things, put on her clothes from the previous day, gathered her hair into a messy bun and only took the time to brush her teeth so she would not feel completely gross until she'd have the time to come back to her room for a shower. 

But of course, despite running as fast as she could, she made it to the classroom only to find the door closed. And just when she thought she couldn't have a worse start of a day, she turned around and literally crashed into someone passing by, both of their books and notebooks flying all around them. She didn't recognize him immediately, having only seen him from afar during the classes they shared. But then, he spoke, asking her tentatively if everything was okay and she recognized his voice immediately. Just as it did in class, his soft Scottish lilt, stronger back then than it was these days, made a smile appear on her face. Maybe it had to do with it reminding her of home or the fact that every time he spoke out in class, it was smart and witty and often funny. She knew he was her age (from upclose, he looked even younger) and it intrigued her. More than once, she thought about going to talk to him but she never found the right opportunity. 

"Oh yes … I'm alright, just ran to get to class because I was late and professor McSnurp, she doesn't let people in when they're late and now I'm gonna have to catch up on two hours worth of …" 

"Oh yeah McSnurp, she's terrifying, a real life McGonagall this one!" He'd cut her off as he went on his knees to start picking up their stuff and she'd followed him. And then probably sensing her distress at the idea of having missed a class -she used to get really dramatic over small things back then-, she'd seen him hesitate before he finally started talking again and god, was she glad that he had the courage to make the first step in what would become the most beautiful relationship of her life. "But hum, I just had this class last night so hum if you want … I could lend you my notes, explain it to you a bit if you have the time …" 

He'd looked so cute, proposing to help her and sounding like she would be making him a favor. 

"Really, you would?" She'd asked, enthusiastically and feeling like her morning was finally shaping up to be much nicer than she thought. 

"Yeah, yeah of course!" 

"How about now? I have some free time obviously and I haven't had breakfast. There's a small coffee shop just outside of campus, they make the best scones I've had this side of the Atlantic. What do you say?" 

For a moment, she saw him hesitate as he looked at his watch and then his phone and she was afraid she'd been too forward. He was just offering to help her and it sounded like she was asking him out. But then he'd looked up at her with one of those blinding boyish smiles she'd gotten used to since then and said yes. 

-0-0-0-

"You know, even back then, I felt really self conscious about going out for coffee with you looking like I just tumbled out of bed!" Jemma said, absentmindedly tracing patterns on his chest. 

"Really?"

"Yeah I mean I was a sixteen years old girl and you were so cute with your big blue eyes and curly hair, I wanted to look nice just … just in case" She said, blushing slightly as she suddenly remembered how seeing Fitz as more than a friend wasn't an idea that came out of the blue when they had their first kiss. 

"Well if it's confession time, then first you should know that I only remember you being nothing less than gorgeous that day but then again I always had a thing for how you look when you just woke up …"

"Oh Fitz …" She swooned. 

"And then you should know that I actually missed a class to go get that coffee with you …" He finished and she turned around so quickly that she almost lost her balance and he had to catch her, her face ending up even closer to him and looking at him with surprise and quite a lot of fondness. 

"Fitz! You should have told me ... So that's why you hesitated … and all this time I'd been afraid I came on too strong … we could have found another moment, you didn't need to miss class."

"No way! I finally had an opportunity to talk to you, I wasn't going to let it pass. I knew guys would have lined up to lend you their notes Jemma and then I would never have found the courage to talk to you again and we might have never become friends …" 

"Oh yes I think we'd have … it was inevitable." She replied without thinking and he grinned widely. He wasn't used to her being romantic. 

"But hum … what does our first coffee together have to do with our holidays?" 

"I'm getting there Fitz … So you remember how we went to this coffee shop and it took us barely half an hour to sum up two hours of class?" 

"Yeah …" He grinned. 

"And then I was desperately trying to look for things to talk about so you wouldn't want to leave immediately because you were just as smart and interesting as I thought you would be … and then I saw this picture in one of your notebooks …" 

"You're going to have to be more precise, I used to carry a lot of pictures of a lot of things, like reference pictures for designs I was working on or …"

"That beach in Costa Rica …" 

"Oh yeahhhh …" He sighed dreamily and she couldn't help smiling at the sight of his enthusiasm that seemed just as intact as when he was sixteen but also at the idea that for a genius, he could be really slow. "Ooooh …" He added, turning around, his eyes wide as saucers. 

There he was.

"Mmhmm …" She nodded with a pleased little smile before continuing without giving him time to react more than that. "And apparently that was the right topic to chose because after I asked you if it that was your next holiday destination, you told me how much you'd like to go because of the beaches of course but also for the monkeys. And then you went on about all the species of monkeys there and all the other species living in the forest. And I think that's when I fell in love with you. Not consciously and maybe not romantically yet but however crazy it sounds, I loved your brain and your mind. You were so smart and adorable and so endlessly inquisitive, I knew we'd have something special the two of us so oomphhh …"

She was cut off by Fitz crashing his lips to hers. He cradled her cheek and pulled her closer, his other arm going around her waist. The kiss was sudden and passionate and yet infused with all the sweetness he had in him and she let herself melt into him. 

"Jemma …" He sighed when they finally broke apart a moment later. "Are we really going there, Are we really going to Costa Rica? Just you and me?" 

"Yes … just you and me …" She replied breathlessly, an ecstatic smile on her face. "And hum … had a talk with my friend who works at the university of San José and she arranged for one her colleagues who studies monkeys to show us her work and give us a tour in the forest so you can see spider monkeys in the wild … I mean it's not the one month road trip we'd planned last year but hopefully …"

"Jemma Simmons!" He cut her off, taking both her hands in his. "Don't you dare apologize! This is the nicest, most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done for me, I love you!' 

"Ooh Fitz I love you too" She replied before pressing one more kiss to his lips. "So really do you think it was a good idea? You don't regret our road trip through the US?" 

"Do I regret getting to see monkeys and going to the beach with my beautiful girlfriend instead of driving all day and sleeping in Steve Jenkin's old van with my platonic and no less beautiful best friend?" He replied, pretending to actually think about it before answering. "Hmm no I really don't Jemma!" 

"Great then …" She said, sliding over until she sat across his lap to give him another kiss, his arms naturally coming around her waist to hold her tightly.

"So when are we leaving?" 

"Tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night? And you thought you had to start packing this morning?" He asked with a small smirk and a raised eyebrow. 

"Oh no actually, i started packing three days ago, I have everything ready for the both of us: hiking shoes, bathings suits, venom packs just in case, our passports, touristic guides, books about the flora and fauna … you just need to need to check if there's specific clothes you want to bring and we're all set!" She replied happily. She knew people tended to think her obsession for preparation was a bit crazy but she was actually quite proud of it. And considering the growing smile on Fitz's face, he apparently didn't mind about it either. She supposed it had a lot to do with the fact that he hated packing. Back when they were at the Academy, he'd always wait till the very last moment to pack his suitcase to go home. Amazingly enough though, he never forgot anything. 

"So that means we have the whole evening and most of tomorrow open for us?" He asked with a mischievous grin and she started to see where this was going. 

"Yeah I guess we do …" She replied, scooting even closer to him on his lap.

"So hum …" He started as he let his hands wander further down her back. "How about I cook us a nice dinner and then we can watch a movie or I could talk to you some more about which monkeys we can find in Costa Rica and then … we can go to bed early to be well rested for out flight tomorrow!" He finished with a teasing grin and she rolled her eyes. 

"Fine then I suppose it'll give me time to pack all the pyjamas I thought I wouldn't need over there …" She replied with a fake innocent smile before pressing a very chaste kiss to his forehead and standing up to walk towards her old room where she would hopefully soon be too occupied to think about packing pyjamas.

"Ah wait wait wait …"

-0-0-0-

Later, after spending a long delicious moment together in her old room definitely not packing pyjamas, she watched him cook dinner from their small dinner table. Even though he still tended to have childish tastes when it came to food, he'd always been good at cooking and they always complimented each other. Where her skills in biochemistry helped her being precise and knowing how ingredients would react together, he had all the creativity and the dexterity of an engineer. But tonight he'd insisted to cook for her to thank her for everything she's had to do to plan their holidays and she gladly let him. As she watched him move around the kitchen, humming some indistinct melody while she went through her files once more to check that they had everything, she was hit by the domesticity of it all. After four months, she still marveled at how easily they went from best friends and roommates to a couple raising a teenager together. And now they were going on their first holidays together and she knew the steps that normally followed after that and she supposed she should be scared because she'd never even lived with someone before Fitz, but somehow she wasn't. Whatever was waiting for them down the road, she was excited to get there. 

"Jemma?" He asked with a slightly amused smile. She must have been staring at him for some time.

"Yeah?"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes Fitz everything's perfect … I'm just … I'm really happy"

"Oh good …" He replied with a blinding smile. "I'm really happy too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I've just come back from a two weeks holiday in Norway and as I always do when in a foreign country, I buy a local edition of the first Harry Potter book. And it turns out that in Norwegian, McGonagall becomes McSnurp 


End file.
